Remembrance Thread: Who will you miss especially over the holidays?

So I've been feeling a little blue these days when out holiday shopping. This is the first year in twelve that I haven't had to buy a fake fur mousie for my kitty girl Sam, because she died last spring, or a stuffed squeaky toy for my dog Buddy, who died quite unexpectedly a week after his best girl Sam. I think Buddy died of a broken heart, and their passing at all, much less so close together, didn't leave mine in any better repair. I am very much missing them this time of year. I am single and without kids, so they were pretty much my "family." Buddy would have been proudly wearing his jingle bell collar starting this week.

I know others here have lost loved ones recently, whether people or pets. I thought it might be nice (and cathartic) to honor those we've lost with a remembrance thread. Please feel free to post a picture and/or a candle. I'll start:


Here's Buddy and Sam laying on me about ten years ago. They really were that close:



My candle for them:

who spent Christmas with my family last year. We had a great time.

:hug:


For Andy:

she was only 44 and didn't live to see me or my sister graduate from high-school or college or get married and the saddest part is she never got to meet her grandchildren. I also miss my Granpa Irv so much, he died almost 2 years ago and he was truly the nicest most considerate person i ever had the priviledge of knowing, when my Mom died and he and My Nana Glo were my sole emotionial support.

And Granpa Irv. Was Granpa Irv your Mom's father?

For you: :hug:


For your Mom and Granpa Irv:

if he tried, i used to look at the 2 of them together at Nana's house every friday night for dinner and wonder how such a wonderful man could have spawned such a schmuck.

I also have a stepbrother who was killed in an accident earlier this year.

It was tragic.

My heart goes out to you over the holidays. :hug:


For your Mom, Dad and stepbrother:

I'll be going home for Christmas for the first time since she died 15 years ago.

Merry Christmas Mom, I love you. :loveya:

She must have been beautiful inside too, to have raised such a bright and considerate child. Peace to you on your journey home. :hug:


For your Mom:

"Heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." - Unknown

"How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven." - Robert A. Heinlein

:hug:

I'm so sorry!

Here it is:

It's our first Christmas without her.

She would have been 97 on the 8th of December.

Keep that spot warm for me under your tree Grandmaman. And tell Pepere I miss him too.

I had a memere and a pepere, too. :hug:

For our memeres and our peperes:

...it's going to be weird not having her at reveillon.

Mom died in 1987, and I still miss her every day. I'm in a position in my life now to give her so much and take care of her, but she's gone. My sister died in 2001 (the day the PATRIOT Act was signed, in fact). She would have lived just 30 miles away from me now, and I'm sorry I didn't get to spend more time with her. Fergie died in 2003, and though we have 3 other cats, he was and will always be the best cat ever. He was a very calm kitty, but he managed to break a Christmas ornament, the only one of the cats I've ever had do so. WAAAAAAHHHHHH to all!

:hug:


For Mom, Sister and Fergus:

Sam looks just like my little girl, lost at this time of year a few years ago. :hug:

I miss her still. Terribly.

I'll probably miss my far-flung family this holiday, too.

I expect our kitty girls are curled up together and grooming each other this very moment. :hug:

And mine would even be okay with Buddy snuggling up, I think, because he comes with such good references. :hug:

I just got her ashes back today.

I've had pets all my life, but still never understood the "getting your pet cremated" thing... until losing Buddy and Sam this last spring. Then, nothing else made sense. I had them cremated together.

A candle for Hannah. With my condolences:

And my condolences to you for Buddy and Sam.

:hug:

:hug:

She has advanced Alzheimer's, and though she's still with us, I'll never have another conversation with her, or a political debate, or a walk, or a cup of coffee, or a laugh, or.............

I think when they get like that, the source of the love doesn't really matter to them so much. She may not know it's you, but she'll know it's there. Bless your heart for being there for her and remembering her the way she wants to be remembered, at her best.

Big hugs to you :hug:, and please forward a hug from me to your Mom. :hug:

It's so hard to have someone who is there and yet not there.

I'm not ready for this.

:cry: and :hug:

I know, the ashes thing is kind of surreal. I've found it helps to cry. A lot. :hug: Bless your heart for loving your good kitty soooo much. My heart goes out to you.


And, of course for Theo:

My condolences.

:hug:

and many other deceased relatives. Plus Alex, our beloved kitty.

:hug:


For Grandma, Alex, and everyone else. I hope these are enough candles:

Thanks :hug:

:hug:

Thanks for this thread.

Sorry about your Dad. I lost mine almost four years ago. I would have included him here but I thought the thread was going to be for more recent losses, like a recap of the last year... but you know what? - That part just really doesn't matter anymore. Because no matter when it happens, a loss like that doesn't really get any easier, does it? You just learn how to cope with it better.

A hug for you: :hug:

And a candle for your Dad:

Grandpa passed in Feb of '02, I flew back from my exchange in Germany to get to see him one last time. Grandma passed last spring. It doesn't help it feels like I'm far from home this year.

...especially while missing them during the holidays. At least us DU people are here for you, 24/7. :hug: And what a blessing that you got to see your Grandpa one last time. I'm sure it meant the world to him.

Hugs for you :hug:

And for Briarius' Grandma and Grandpa:

He passed away 8-8-02. I miss him especially at this time of year as Christmas was always so big and important to him.

When I left my first wife, I moved in with him. When Christmas time came, I had a bunch of presents for my co-workers that I was taking to work. I had that jumbo size Toys-R-Us kind of bag filled with presents over my shoulder. As I was leaving dad smiled at me, and looked some combination of proud, happy, sad, something. He told me he hoped I never lose my Christmas spirit.

It's been hard since you left dad. I've tried hard for you, but it's been hard. I love you.

How blessed he was to have such a wonderful son. He must have been so proud to see the importance of Christmas to him, passed on to you when he saw your generosity to your co-workers. I'll bet that meant a lot to him.

For you: :hug:


For Dad:

And I think dad would have thanked you for the candle. So thank you from him. I'm going to go cry now.

:hug:

I miss the way my family was when they were still here, because it just hasn't been the same.

...the simple fact of having a grandmother around makes everything feel safer, somehow. I only got to know one of my grandmothers, and I miss her, too. I hope the wonderful memories you have of them all will bring some comfort and cheer this season.

:hug:


For both of your grandmothers, and your aunt:

and my grandmother as well, for that matter...but I've been thinking of my grandfathers a lot recently. I don't know if it's the holidays, or what...it's just over a year since my father's father died, so maybe that has something to do with it. I wish I'd been closer with him, and with my mother's parents. There are so many things I wish I'd simply asked them...but also a lot of great memories!

...I've noticed that too, it does seem like I always start remembering those things that happened about year ago. Maybe the change in the seasons cues us somehow? Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that you'll be missing your grandparents, but I'll bet they would be happy to know you're thinking of them. Take care....

:hug:

For Anarch's grandparents:

I did not know her long, she only lived five days in January.

:hug:


:cry:

I'm sorry for your loss. Take care... :hug:


For the little one:

My dad is the hardest one. :cry:

Poor thing, you've been through a lot. My heart goes out to you... I hope you make it through the holidays okay, and I'll say an extra prayer for you. :hug:


For Nini's Dad, Stepmom, and Grandparents (I'm not sure of the number of grandparents, so there may be a few extra candles):

She died exactly one year ago today at the age of 84. And my cat Teddy, who died this past Saturday.

This must be an extra difficult time of year for you. Please accept my condolences and a big hug: :hug:


One for ocelot's Mom, and one for Teddy cat.

Setting up the table for Christmas dinner, I started to cry over his absence for the first time since his funeral.

Not "funny," but you know what I mean. Even a year or two or more later, little things sometimes out of nowhere can bring it all back and the tears just well up... Good luck through the holidays...

For you: :hug:


For Grandpa:

who died October 2004.

Here's her picture:



Miss you lots :( :cry:

Even though it's been a year or more, when it's a parent you lose it seems like just yesterday. My heart goes out to you through the holidays. Good luck. :hug:


For TOhioLiberal's Mom:

He died 29 years ago, but I miss him still. This is me with my dad, when I was just a little girl.

I'm sorry you lost him so long ago. How proud he would be of you today. Hugs for you through the holidays: :hug:


A candle for your Dad:

That's really very sweet of you. :hug:

know more people who have died than you do alive...

Without children in my life, Christmas seems.....

BIG hugs for you :hug: :pals: ,

extra prayers,

and sadly, :cry:


many candles:





Take care of yourself through the holidays.

But me, it clearly is a cool day but non of the hoopla....

Thanks for the candles....

I loved all of my grandparents, but my maternal grandparents practically raised me. My grandpa died when I was 11, but I didn't lose my grandma until I was 31. She and I were very close and she was my only REAL confidante- The only person in the world whom I could talk to about ANYTHING without being judged. I had major issues with my parents growing up, and to escape the friction I often spent time with my grandmother. She was the kindest, best read, most open minded person I knew, and a raging Democrat to boot.

When my grandpa died in 1983, we were all surpised that it was him and not her because she was in poor health. I feel blessed knowing that not only was she able to see me grow up, she was able to become close with my first child. I am so thankful for that.

She lived to a ripe old age- 90- and she was ready to go. She went very peacefully. For selfish reasons, I wish I could have kept her here forever. I miss her so much, especially during the holidays.

I am also going to miss my father in law especially this year. We lost him in a horrible way- murder- earlier this year and this will be our first Christmas without this man- He was the kind of person who would do anything to help another person, and he didn't deserve to have his life violently taken from him.

I can't even imagine what you must be going through trying to deal with your father in law's death. Oh gosh, my heart just goes out to you with every wish for peace and hope and justice.

And for your grandma too, I'm sorry you miss her, but what a blessing to have such a wonderful lady in your life, and for so long. Bless her heart for taking such good care of you.

You take care of you too, especially through the holidays. :hug:

For Grandma, and Father in Law:

That is so kind.

Since I'm trying extra hard to NOT let Christmas get me down too much this year for my 5 year old son's sake, it's not too bad so far.

But I do still miss them a lot.

:hug:

I lost my mother January 10th, 1998, and my father April 12th, 2005.

My heart goes out to all of you whose loved ones have passed on.

It's so hard to lose the second parent, I know. I'm so sorry... :cry:

Take care, Digit. Blessings and hugs to you through the holidays: :hug:


For Digit's Mom and Dad:

Evil aside, she was lots of fun at Christmas.

Not sure from your post whether she passed away though... in any event, take care through the holidays, and you still get a hug: :hug: :7

:hi:

She always cooked the best holiday treats and kept members of the family from killing each other when fighting. I don't go visit with the whole family any more because I can't take the major fighting they do over silly stuff. My grandmother is the one I think of when I think about death. I really really miss her during the holidays and during the summers. I used to spend summers with her right here in this little village. If I ever get rich or a decent paying job, I'm going to find a way to negotiate with that old curmudgeon who now owns the house my grandmother rented. He was renting it a while back, but I learned really quick he was a republican type asshole with a my way or the highway attitude. That's my dream home he is treating like mere property. What a cold hearted asshole.

...that makes everything in the world seem safer, and puts everyone on their best behavior. I'm sorry you're missing your grandmother, and it's always harder at the holidays. Bless her heart for raising such a righteous soldier! :hug:


For Jamastiene's Grandmother:

Ma left this world 3/28/05, Dad 5/1/00, Scott 5/5/96.
Ita a tough one this year. Just my other brother and I are left.

...losing the second parent. But then to have lost your little brother as well... and your Mom is recent enough to make it seem like yesterday. Aww, maveric, my heart just goes out to you too this holiday season. I'm so sorry... :cry:

Take care, here's an extra big hug :hug:


And for your Mom, Dad and little brother:

We all miss you. Especially Wolfgang.

Cookie, a mostly black calico, passed away suddenly this last year. She used to cuddle up with our border collie mix, Wolfgang, and he'd growl and grumble for a minute, then relax and let her be affectionate.

It always reminded me of that old cartoon with Mark Anthony the bulldog and his newly found kitten friend.

Rest in Peace, Cookie.

Hugs to you dear, we both lost a special kitty this year: :hug:


And for sweet Cookie:

trying NOT to think about it actually

But I hope it's okay to sneak a quick hug in anyway: :hug:


For Grandma, Grandpa and Levon:

actually bring comfort!??! thanks :hug:

:hug:

...he's still alive, but we had a falling out a couple of years ago. Haven't spoke since. Egos can be so silly, and such a waste of time...

I think you wrote about that here before. It must really weigh heavily on your mind. Can you approach him just enough to take the weight off your soul? Saying something like, "I don't like the way this feels. I'm sorry it came this far." Well, whatever. You're a bright and considerate guy, I know you'll do the right thing when the time is right. Take care through the holidays, though. You still get a hug:

:hug:

:hi:

I miss them every single time I log onto DU.

Funny how relationships can grow from the arrangement of electrons on a screen. Here's a hug for you: :hug:


And for them:

:cry:

I'm sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself through the holidays. :hug:


For Dad:

We are missing someone who was always a huge part of our lives. All through my childhood, I would sleep upstairs with my 2 brothers on Christmas Eve. We would never sleep. We would play games and try to guess what each of us would get. Even as we all got older, we would still sleep in the same room. It was just familiar for us. One of those brothers died in 1996. Christmas just isn't the same.


Here we are one Christmas long ago.

I'm sorry you'll all miss such a special guy.

Here's and extra big hug for you: :hug:


And, of course, for him:

Grandma's birthday was this week, and we spent every christmas together since I was born.

It's been 8 years, but I still miss them.

This year I am missing my wife's father, Frank, whom I never met and who died of leukemia when she was in high school. It's weird to miss someone you never knew, but I know we would have gotten along great and I think her life would have been so much different and better had he lived. My kids cry sometimes when they see his photo because they are sad they never met him. :cry: I actually went to his grave to ask his permission to marry her 10 years ago...

RL

The holidays are especially hard for us sentimental types sometimes. And I'll bet you are exactly the kind of guy Frank was hoping his daughter would be lucky enough to marry. What father wouldn't want a son in law who missed him and respected even though they never met, and who passed those wonderful sentiments along to his grandchildren?


Big hug for you: :hug:

And candles for your paternal grandparents, and Frank:

She lost her battle against Ovarian Cancer on June 15th this year. It's so hard this year.

Merry Christmas Mom.

And so recently, too. She looks like a strong lady with a beautiful heart. I know the holidays will be difficult for you without her. I'm so sorry. Do take care. Here's an extra big hug for you :hug:


And this is for Spacemom's Mom:

:grouphug:

We'll all miss them. Thanks for remembering them here. A hug for you: :hug:


And for them:

She lost her 15 year battle with breast cancer 9/9/01.
My brother told me his son wanted to hear her laugh again. I need to go through our video tapes and find her laugh so I can maybe turn it into a quicktime movie for him.

What a wonderful woman, what a bright and happy spirit! Now I wish I knew her, too, because she just made me smile. :) Wow, look at that... her love that transcends space and time to touch people she never even met. Aww... special big hug for you: :hug: Take care through the holidays, and I hope you find that her laugh again.


And a candle for your Mom:

it never gets easier...

I love you Dad...:loveya:

I'm so sorry you lost your Dad and will miss him, especially so at the holidays. I hope your memories of him will bring some comfort. Here's a hug, besides: :hug:


For your Dad:

and the candle...yes my memories do bring some joy, along with some sorrow...and I still see him in my dreams at night...:hug:

:hug:

She died on March 3. 2001, the day before my 32nd birthday. She would be so thrilled to spend the holidays with my new husband. She would have thought him the most wonderful person ever (maybe that is why I do too).
I miss her terribly and think of her everyday.

Grandparents the anchors of our lives, holding everything together with timeless wisdom and linking us to our roots even farther back than we or our parents can remember. For most people, I think losing a grandparent is the first time we really comprehend our own mortality, and it causes us to place a different value on the days that remain.


I'm so sorry you'll miss your grandmother, especially through the holidays. :hug:


For malta blue's Grandmother:

You have brought the torrent of tears upon me, a welcome relief from all the anxiety the holidays cause.

I cried some while writing all these responses.

But crying can heal. Let's have a good cry together. :cry: :cry:


And some extra big hugs, too: :hug:


Take care. :hug:

She must've weighed well over 200 pounds, and every year she dressed up in a ridiculous elf costume, complete with tights, and bounced around the house like a spry pixie. She was Christmas.

She even made me smile just now. :) Some people touch the lives of others they've never even met, even after they're gone, for the better. The world would be a better place if we were all a little more nuts like her. Hugs for you :hug:



And a candle for LaraMN's crazy wonderful pixie elf great-aunt:

He was stillborn in Sept. 1998, but during the holidays it still hits home that there should be another singing voice, another belly laugh... just 'another'

Each year, as we remember him, we find a boy on the giving tree who is the same age as he would have been and we buy for that child.

It takes a very rare and especially gracious soul to turn personal sadness into joy for another. Bless your great big heart. Big hugs for all of you: :hug:


For the little guy:

Dad died New Years 1995 and Mom followed him in July '96. We were very close. Mom was my best friend and Dad was always there watching over us contentedly.

Since they died, there's been a little hollow in me that has never completely filled up. :-( They didn't get to see their granddaughter graduate from law school, marry and have their greatgrandchildren. Or see me get to be a happy and contented adult with a great job and friends.

Miss you Betty and Bill. It's lonely here without you. :cry:

I am so sorry for the hollow in your heart, and the added loss you will feel through the holidays. How proud they would be (and I think are) to see all of you doing so well. My heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself through the holidays, supernova: :hug:


For Betty and Bill:

My DU Lil' Bro. :cry:

Thank you for remembering him here.

For you: :hug:


For Khephra:

for my friend Barb without her mom, Granny, who passed away in May. So we're all missing her this holiday season. She was sick last Christmas, and was rushed to the hospital on January 6, and never came home after that. :(

I will also miss little Amanda, my tuxedo cat, who passed in early August. I still miss my buddies, Dax and Kira, both of whom I lost in 2003--Dax in February, and Kira in October. :(



It's difficult to deal sometimes when you've lost someone close at this time of year. The stress associated with their loss just adds to the turmoil that's built in to the holidays.

...to think of your friend Barb and her Granny. What a good and true friend you are. I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your little Amanda kitty, and not so long ago. And Dax and Kira - were they also kitties? My very first kitty was named Kira.

Sometimes people don't understand what it can mean to lose a pet, but I sure do and I know how much you'll miss her over the holidays. So here's a big hug for you: :hug:, take care.


And four candles, one each for Granny, Amanda, Dax and Kira:

Yes, both Dax and Kira were kits. They were actually brother and sister, and were orphaned when they were a week old. We had to handraise them from that time on. Kira was the runt, and Dax was the "big" boy. There was a third kitten, but it died. Kira almost died as well, from pneumonia. I swear she used up about 5 of her lives before she was even a year old. They were 10 when I lost them.

Their fate is unknown, however. I was moving cross country when Dax got out of the car and hightailed it toward the woods when we made a rest stop. I never saw him again, even though we stayed there for the night and looked everywhere for him. Kira got out of the house when the plumbers were here one day, and she never came home.

Little Amanda had been my friend Marje's last remaining kit. Marje passed away in 2003, and I took Amanda. She was about 15 when she died this past August. An absess in a tooth burst in her jaw and was killing her. I felt so very bad about it, and still do.

Barb is the one who is feeling her mom's loss extra hard. I'm spending Christmas with her, and hope to keep her spirits up if I can.

:hug:


Take care.

:hug:

I lost my Grandpa last year and haven't healed yet. This is the first time I've talked to anyone about it and it feels like I just lost him :(

So sorry to hear about Buddy and Sam, I'm sure they are very happy where they are now O8)

It is difficult sometimes to deal with the sadness/stress of missing someone special at what is supposed to be a happy time of year. It can be tough to keep up the facade. But sometimes it helps to talk about it, even to a stranger. Doing so can bring tears, I know, but crying is an important part of the healing process. That's why I thought I'd start this thread, to give those who needed it a little place to open up and work through some of the feelings. Maybe take the edge off the rest of the holiday stress.

I'm really glad you're here. :hug:


So sorry to hear that you lost your Grandpa. I think somewhere he is very honored to know that you still think of him so fondly, and remember him on special occasions. Really, what more could any of us ask?

Take care of yourself through the holidays, sweetie. Thanks too for your kind words about Buddy and Sam. That meant a lot. BIG hugs for you: :hug:


And, of course, a candle for dear Grandpa:

....every day. I so wish she were here to talk to.



I love you Demi....pronounced Dee Me




Tikki

a post to remember a Mother-in-law. :) She must have been one special lady, I'm so sorry you lost her. I know what you mean about wishing to talk to her. Sometimes I still talk to my Dad and my Gramma, even though they're both gone. It helps.

Take care of yourself through the holidays. Here's a hug for you: :hug:


And a candle for Demi:

she made her home with me for 10years. First Christmas ever without her. She lived a long good
life to the age of 90. I was very lucky.

maybe the holidays are to serve us of a reminder
of them.
Losing my parents was dreadfully hard.
I hope all have someone to celebrate life with as
well.

My condolences. But yes, you certainly were fortunate to have her so close and for so long. I hope the memories of those days will bring you comfort through the holidays. Do take care, dear. :hug:


For samplegirl's Mom:

he was the glue for our family. He was the one that kept the family really together. We never had our Christmas celebration until the end of January, or early February since he died. So then, mom was the one we all rallied around.....she died on March 12, this past year now, we'll have Christmas at my sisters ON Christmas and miss them both. I guess everyone has changes in traditions depending on circumstances in each family. I do look forward to getting together this weekend with the rest of my family it'll be way different, but it'll be good and a new tradition.

And the loss of your Mom is still so recent. I'm glad you have your sister there for you through the holidays. I hope the memories of your brother and Mom will bring some comfort to the rest of the family. Take care of yourself: :hug:


Candles for MsUSA's Mom and brother:

:hug:

:hug:

:-( :cry:

I'm sorry you've lost them both. I think they must have been the kind of women who make everyone in a room feel comfortable, because I see that kindness in you here.
Please take care through the holidays. :hug:


For Mom, and Grandmother:

:hug:

:hug:

Take care.

Peace to you through the holidays. :hug:

Take care.


For Lady of Texas' Mom and Dad:

who hanged himself on Christmas. My brother who died on New Years.

Not my favorite time of year.

I hope you have someone to be with and talk to. Please take care of yourself through the holidays. Sending all my best wishes for peace and hope your way: :hug:


For your brother, and your dear friend:

In fact I have had an awful time around the holidays. Last year, being 10 and 15 years respectively, was simply too much for me. This year, no, because I am taking meticulous care of my mental and physical health.

I'm glad to know that you are taking care of yourself through this difficult time.

:hug:

RIP Mickie. :cry:

...brings the heartbreak of losing a loved one into a whole new realm. I can't imagine what that must feel like for you, but I expect you could use a good hug just about now, and through the holidays as well. I am so sorry for your loss. :hug:


For Mickie:

...in fact it was one year ago today (12/22) we had to euthanize Maxx, our 15 year old Husky/Retriever mix, who was in failing health.

I buried him in the thicket out back. :cry:

...for me, it was harder in some ways to watch my little kittie die than to watch my father die, because doctors and other people were responsible for taking care of my father as he was dying, but I alone was responsible for the decision to end my kittie's life when she was suffering. Voluntarily ending the life of a sentient being whom I dearly loved and who loved me in return was, without question, far and away, the single most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. My heart goes out to you Richardo, it really does. :hug: Oh, now I'm crying again at the memory. Mind if I cry with you? :cry: Tears are healthy, right? Lots of them, right? :cry:

More hugs for you: :hug:


And for dear Maxx:




Take care.

:cry:

Have a great holiday everyone, and see you next year!

:hi:

I think you're going to come out of this one just fine.

Have a good holiday.

I was ten years old and we had just had the best Christmas and he died just as the new year started....

He would have especially loved his grandkids...

...having lost a loved one at any time of year, but to lose someone over the holidays, and then to be a kid on top of that, and then to have it be a parent... oh gosh, that is just so beyond sad. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I can't imagine the holidays were ever quite the same again. Here's a big hug for both you and your inner child: :hug:


And a candle for bleedingheart's Dad:

:hug:

they always made the holidays special, no matter how much or little we had. My dad has been gone for 14 years, my mom 7 years, but I still feel like I can call them up & let them know how it's going with me and my family.:cry:

What a blessing that you still encounter their spirit so strongly in your daily life; it is a testament to their tremendous and enduring love for you. Peace to you all as you share the holidays in spirit. :hug:


For mwdem's Mom and Dad:

Now, they're both dead.

That is quite a lot of heartache to bear in one year. With their loss the holidays are certain to hold a measure of emptiness. My heart goes out to you. Please, if you haven't already (and even if you have but the feelings arise again) indulge yourself in a good cry. Or ten. Even if you have to run off and hide in the bathroom because you don't feel like "spoiling" Christmas for everybody else. Please accept my condolences and a big hug as you work through the holidays without your grandmothers this year. :hug:


For whoisalhedges' grandmothers:

Stevie was the best friend I ever had.

My sister, Heather, was the one person I could trust to watch my back. With her I knew I was safe, without her I'll never be safe again.

Khash.

What a terrible loss, I'm sorry you have to deal with such a difficult situation as not feeling safe. I hope somehow, some day, you'll find a way to feel safe again. All of us will be so much better off when (if) you can regain the confidence to share all of your wonderful self with the rest of the world.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss of Stevie as well. Some people will never understand it, but to the rest of us pets truly become our surrogate families.

Hugs to you as you miss your loved ones through the holidays: :hugs:


A candle for Khashka's sister Heather, and one for Stevie:

Father (April 1994); Fiance (May 2001); and Mother (Jan. 2004).
Sorry; no pics.
on the plus side; my son was born this (22nd) day two years ago....

I'm especially sorry that you've lost both parents, but it couldn't have been easy to lose a fiance either. Did your Mom get to meet her grandson? In any event, going through the holidays with a two year old should keep you busy, but not too busy to feel the loss of those important people. Hugs to you throughout the season, especially when you find yourself missing them. :hug:


Candles for lildreamer316's Father, Mother and fiance:

My brother Steven, all my great-aunts and great-uncles, all those wise and charming people with their pleasant Norse accents, my wife's parents who were accepting of me despite my differences on various issues, my cousins Keith and Marlin who were interesting and adventurous, my wife's aunts and uncles who were so talkative and so good to talk to about things past, even my drunken Uncle Ed, the WWII aviator, who provided such unintended entertainment but who always meant well,my wife's artistic cousin from Cambridge, and almost a number numberless of people who used to constitute my old Christmas Universe, indeed my old universe entirely. And our beloved cat Waldorf-Astoria who we had for 15 years, who we were given when I was in my 30's and who was so much a part of our lives. A great loss and also Zigi, the cat my mother-in-law had who was so affectionate he would climb on my chest and put his face upon mine with his paws on my shoulders. They all left along with the cheerful busy old world they were part of and I just have to avoid thinking too much about the ones I'm missing and try to realize that all is transitory and they lived good long lives in any case. But it is not easy. OK, those are the ones I miss.

But it sounds like they were all close to you and to each other, even the kitties. What a blessing to have such a tight knit and fun loving extended family with whom to grow and learn and enjoy life. You are thoughtful to remember everyone at the holidays, and even though you miss them, it sounds as though you have many wonderful memories to bring you comfort. Here's a hug for you: :hug:


And candles all around, even for drunken Uncle Ed, who meant well:

Lost Mom in 1987, and my sister in 1996.
We're really treasuring this Christmas with my Dad, as there is good reason to believe that this will be his last one with us, due to cancer.

...to go through what you know are the lasts... last birthday, last Christmas, last family event, last whatever... and for this to be your only remaining parent... what an especially bittersweet time the holidays must be for you this year. The only positive is that the situation does, indeed, give you an awareness which allows you to more mindfully treasure these precious moments. I'm so sorry for your difficult circumstances. Big hugs to you through the holidays, and one for your Dad, too. :hug:


And here, candles for your Mom and sister:

My grandmother who passed away this year at the age of 99. She was the family matriarch, so to speak, and she gave so much joy, happiness and love to those she knew. Even though unfortunately I couldn’t be in the same country as her every year, her larger than life presence and her love could reach across oceans. I’ll miss her

The same applies to my late grandfather (her husband). He was a man I admired so much in my youth and I will never forget the warmth, love, compassion and generosity of spirit that he showed me in the all too brief period that I knew him. As a Christian who believes in the afterlife, my one consolation is that my grandparents will be celebrating their first Christmas together in the next world reunited again forever in love and peace

I’ll miss my two other grandparents –one whom I hardly knew but of whom my memories of my all too brief time with him are fond and the other whom I became very close to and fond of in the last decade of her life. I miss not having them here immensely

I’ll miss my dad’s best friend –a man who was taken well before his time. A man who was kind, generous, warm and funny and who seemed so full of life just a few months ago. I’ll be thinking and praying for his widow and his children as they go through the first Christmas without a man that they loved so much and who gave them so much love and affection

I’ll miss people online who have passed on to the next world as well –Andy Stephenson, Scottie72 Kef, Nostamj and some of the others as well. Even though Andy was the only one I met in person and the rest were online contacts, I formed a connection to them across the world which I valued and cherished and I miss their presence on this forum immensely. I pray for their families this Christmas as well