What are your favorite secular Christmas songs?

Since I don't want to get into a religious debate here, I'll stick to the secular stuff.

When I was growing up, we always heard on the radio, around Christmastime, a song, "Yust Go Nuts at Christmas," by Yorgy Yorgenson, (forgive the spelling.) Very, very funny: lyrics like, "On Christmas I hug and I kiss my wife's mother/the rest of the year we don't speak to each other."

Another very charming one for me is, "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." Little kid very seriously and charmingly explaining why a hippo would be the perfect gift for him/her. (He/she will keep it in the garage.)

Anybody else have something they love to hear around Christmastime?

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party
We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him until he sang
Felis Navidad, Felis Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kay
Who talks all about AA
Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel
The First Noel

Carve the Turkey
Turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quickpak Store
We need some ice and an extension chord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites
A box of tampons, Marlboro Lights
Haleluja everybody say Cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw a breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night, Oh Silent Night, Oh Holy Night

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Make Bloody Mary's
Cause We All Want One!
Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites
A box of tampons, some Salem Lights
Haleluja, everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the Family

"Wreck the Malls." Used to hear it a lot when I lived in Detroit: a kid who likes to do a lot of damage with "my friend Charlie" at Christmastime.

How can you not love a song whose chorus winds up with "Hooray for Captain Santa Claus/And his Reindeer Space Patrol!"

I have 4 or 5 different versions of that on my computer and they're all great.

It both makes me cry and fills me with hope (hope that one day we will have a world without war).

I just love it.

Also, Fairytale of New York (The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl), in addition to the aforementioned Happy Christmas (War is Over).

It rocks!

by someone...

:hide:

Best. Krimmas. Song. Ever.