Why is it that females INSIST on

so MUCH "communication"? Especially from "I''s (introverts) such as myself?:-(

Heck, I am lucky to just function as well as I do most of the time.:evilfrown:

I can only think of once, in my 41 years, when any guy that I know complained about lack of "communication". Guy are just content to shoot the breeze, or be companionably quiet while doing things together...

This "communication" thing is hard and exhausting, at least for me as an "I" .....

Makes relationships a whole lot better. Especially "certain" aspects. :evilgrin:

:loveya:

:hi:

but I do form close friendships and relationships and benefit greatly from them. That's not really atypical for introverts, we just suck at or really dislike group interaction.

but for some people actions speak louder than words.

I wish. My actions are good.

i think some people are in a hurry to "know" what's going on with their relationship and feel like they need to be told. i'm more trusting in what i see going on myself. of course, some women feel it's a waste of time to enjoy someones company unless it's going "somewhere" or there's a commitment forthcoming. i beleive this is at the root of a lot of this "tell me how you feel" stuff, it's really looking for promises. :shrug:

Maybe I don't feel the need to do that much probing and poking because I don't have an agenda. This is a very perceptive insight and it could help a lot if you can determine if this is what is really going on, so you can address it accordingly. Maybe just getting this settled will cut back on the draining conversations. I don't know specifics, so am just spit balling here, but this makes sense to me.:-)

is the sole element of communication. I think it's just as much "Tell me what you think," about things that have nothing to do with where the relationship is going.

Even when comfortable enough in a relationship that I don't need promises, I still want my partner to tell me honestly what she thinks about everything from what to have for dinner to where to go on vacation to "Should we buy this house?"

men do the whole ..."lets talk about it...analyze it...tear it to bits..rebuild it..." just as much

so i tend to bring this out in men. :shrug:

speaking as a female introvert, I run into an awful lot of chatty males.

that most of them want (need?) more "communication" than I generally find necessary.

My best friend is really shy! He's a widower as of last February and we were really careful to refer women to him (after he requested)....he's found it tough...as have we...

BTW

Also he's a millionaire, owns 25 software patents, a 2006 Corvette...you know blah,blah,blah:rofl:

:D

Actually, this gets on my nerves, as well. It's become kind of a cliche, regarding women, but I don't think it's universally true. I try to choose my sensitive conversations like I choose my battles, very carefully. And I know that too much discussion will probably just exacerbate any situation, so I've learned to keep my own counsel. Thinking things out on your own will often serve the same purpose and won't send anyone else over the edge.:shrug:

I did not post this because it was a cliche, but because I have DIRECTLY EXPERIENCED THIS on numerous occasions ...

I could feel your frustration in your post. This is obviously something that is really bothering you and I didn't mean to appear to be belittling your aggravation. My only point was that not everyone is like this. My only suggestion is to be prepared, if you sense another wearying conversation coming on, and head it off at the pass, so to speak. Not every situation rates heartfelt examination and nothing strains a relationship faster than constant sturm und drang. Most things can be solved more simply or with a little introspection before bringing them up. If you could find a way to gently point this out, it might help. Sorry that I'm not more helpful and that you thought I was writing this off as just a cliche. I know that it isn't...:-(

Thanks for the suggestions ...:hug:

else draining you just now. I wouldn't think you'd need to explain this, but perhaps you have to, just simply and unemotionally. You deserve understanding, especially now, but maybe you need to ask for it. You just might get it. And I'm sorry, just the same. As for me, I'd be happy if we could just decide on something, anything, before the last minute. That's my biggest problem with guys. I'm willing to cook, but I'm not a drive-thru, and I'm willing to do many things, if I only know, a little ahead of time, what has to be done...:shrug:

Rhiannon:D:hug:

:hug:

As much as we like to pretend we are. At the same time, we analyse and attach meaning to *everything* you say and do.

that I know do this also, then? I don't do this, and I am also not a mind reader...

with the hole between them.

Or something like that...


:hide:

just checking.
:o

---> :o <--

and that's merely step one.
:9

And yakking does not necessarily equal communication. Yakking is exhausting. Too much chit-chat by one person is really self-absorbtion.

Listening seems to be a lost art, as is attentiveness, thoughtful gestures, and spending quiet time together (and apart).

Communication doesn't have to be hard, but it does need to be intentional.

Actually, she makes a good point.
Would everyone please go and read Dan Savage's new column.

Girls talk your ear off and boys couldn't be bothered.

Rev, as she so often does, said something wise:

"Communication doesn't have to be hard, but it does need to be intentional. "


Khash.

"Pithy Sayings to Impress Others."

:rofl:

I'd want to talk about something, she'd want to watch a Kung Fu movie or just go to sleep.

Notice, no sarcasm smiley. I'm serious. She also left the toilet lid up (we had cats who were always falling in the toilets), the toothpaste cap off, and her dirty clothes all over the living room. She did take out the trash, though. I cooked.

Gender stereotypes have never fit me or my relationships well.

.......

a male that I....


know .....

Too much damn communication. Guess that's why I'm single. :shrug:

Oh well.

:toast:

on the quality of 'communicating'? I'm silent if it comes to chit-chat and the like, since I've read my Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus from Wittgenstein:

"Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent."

But, even being a so-called introvert, communication is essential. I'm just not always quite fast enough with it ...

And I don't think there's any difference between females and men if it comes to communication. That's pretty individual.

I fell in love via my ears, too. Since we're both introverted, there'd better be some conversation, or there's a problem. There are lots of comfortable silences at our house, though.

Julie

Q. Recently, my boyfriend and I broke up, one reason being his lack of initiative in calling me. After we broke up, I spoke with several of my girlfriends and found out that they, too, have similar troubles with their boyfriends or guys they are seeing. Some of these women are in serious, long-term, loving relationships. It seems to me that this is a blight on modern relationships. Women want to get phone calls from our significant others because it lets us know we are cared for, but men seem to be indifferent, even after it's been brought up and discussed. Are we women asking for too much? Or are men being thoughtless?—Give Me A Call

A. I've been racking my brain for hours, GMAC, in a desperate effort to recall if I have ever received a question that interests me less than yours.

http://villagevoice.com/people/0601,savage,71468,24.html