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How come nobody ever talks about their personal relationship with Satan?

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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:24 PM
Original message
How come nobody ever talks about their personal relationship with Satan?
There are so many people who bring up their personal relationship with Jesus in our country, but I've yet to hear people talking about a personal relationship with Satan.
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
1. I'm a private person. What can I say?
:shrug:

:evilgrin:
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:26 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. "So he leaned over to me and said, go ahead and take the money JVS...
you can use it for booze and hookers!"
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. He told me
that we women were people too. Who knew? Those crazy libruls... :shrug:

:D :D :evilgrin:
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. He spreads such dreadful lies!
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:30 PM
Response to Reply #5
12. I know!
:sarcasm:

:D :P
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asthmaticeog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:26 PM
Response to Original message
3. That's a private matter between me and my lord.
Ave Satanas.
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:28 PM
Response to Original message
6. I am Satan
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:29 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. Shouldn't you be out there getting people to sell orphans into sex-slavery
instead of pissing away your time at DU?
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anarch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:28 PM
Response to Original message
7. well, I don't know about "close personal relationship"
I mean, I've had a few beers with Satan, but that's about it. He and Jesus both hang out at this bar I go to sometimes.
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jeff30997 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:33 PM
Response to Reply #7
14. You had a few beers with Karl Rove ?
Traitor !
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:29 PM
Response to Original message
9. Because if you get too close you
get burned...



ba da boom. Tis.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:29 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. HA!
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:30 PM
Response to Original message
11. Because if you do
he anally rapes you that evening...only some people enjoy that.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:32 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. How did you learn this?
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:33 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. I heard about it from this friend...umm...yeah...that's it...
a friend on DU.
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jeff30997 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. I told you it was a secret !!!
I will never trust you anymore Rad !:cry:
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:43 PM
Response to Reply #17
22. Actually, that wasn't Satan. Sorry.
Edited on Mon Jan-16-06 03:43 PM by Radical Activist
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jeff30997 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. Of course it wasn't.
;-)
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:36 PM
Response to Original message
16. Satanists don't need to proselytize
Their god doesn't have a marketing department. Humans being human, they just sorta gravitate toward him.
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jeff30997 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. Well there was that time when...
Me and Satan played Scrabble but that's about it.(The bastard kept inventing words pretending that they were incantations).
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. It would be just like Satan to cheat at scrabble!
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jeff30997 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 04:01 PM
Response to Reply #19
25. Just imagine him cheating at Twister.
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:42 PM
Response to Original message
20. Sheesh! I never had a personal relationship with Satan so I can't say.
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StaggerLee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:42 PM
Response to Original message
21. Never met him

I'm not much of a hockey fan either so that probably has a lot to do with it.
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 03:44 PM
Response to Original message
23. I'm under a gag order
:blush:
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
26. Because once they have a personal relationship with
Karl Rove, they either become president or a minion of the president. It's in the contract. If they talk about it, they lose everything. There's the answer to that question.
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TallahasseeGrannie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
27. Oh, I've met him
but I don't dwell on it.
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neweurope Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 05:57 PM
Response to Original message
28. But He told me not to!
----------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
29. "I did not have sexual relations with that Demon, . . .
. . . Lucifer Devilinsky."

:)
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