Hey cubicle rats! Epiphany about torture (office torture, that is)

This morning I am rushing through a project at my desk and am fidgeting much more than usual, when I have this thunderbolt idea: My desk and chair are extremely uncomfortable. The space under my desk is too small for my legs (I'm about 6 feet) and no matter how I place things, I am either hanging my neck (ouch!) or kneeling in my chair so I can use as much desk space as possible.

So I had the idea of moving my keyboard off the little keyboard thingy platform and taping my deskblotter to it in a way that it slants up onto the desk. Because it is papery and has a lot of spilt coffee on it, it's sticky and papers lie perfectly flat on it without sliding onto the floor, kind of like an architect's desk. And because the computer keyboard platform slides about a foot out from under the desk, I now have leg room. Wow! I can lay out all my papers without having any body strain or neck strain. It was like I had been experiencing slow body torture for years without realizing it, and it just went away.

But then I realized I was still really uncomfortable. Now, I'm not trying to get nasty here or start a sex thread, but the taking away of the body pain made me acutely aware that I was still really uncomfortable "down there" and was constantly still fidgeting. In other words, taking away one form of discomfort made me realize that the remaining discomfort was really annoying and I am conftinuing to fidget.

Then I had my second epiphany of the morning: All men's underwear, as well as the entire idea of pants, is preposterous! I realized I had been fidgetting every day of my working life for decades because of the design of men's clothes. Boxers, briefs, it really doesn't matter.

Men really should wear skirts, like the traditional Scottish dress. Why are we torturing ourselves??? Women are so lucky -- brassieres for support and skirts.

Well, sorry about those high heels, though.

Especially the ones with underwires.

I loathe them but they're a necessary evil.

Many women wear the wrong size or type of bra. My wife is fairly large in that area and complained for years about bra comfort. We met a woman who owns a high end lingerie shop some years back. She measured my wife and ordered her some higher end comfort bras in the correct size. My wife says it is like night and day. True they were triple the cost of the bras she had been buying at Macys or JCPennys for her whole life, but her comfort was worth the cost. I understand many women use trial and error to find a bra, but someone who does it professionally can really help your comfort level. It worked for my wife. Just a suggestion.

...wore one for years in a band.

Here in San Francisco it's not uncommon to see men, perhaps more straight than gay and younger than older in numbers, wearing the kilt.

Especially popular is the UtiliKilt incarnation shown below.

Q. What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?
A. His Ghillies.

but if you're wearing jeans, you are wearing the equivalent of something like 8 or 12 layers of material where the seams all go together...at the crotch.
There's a company that makes gusset jeans, which distributes the seams in a more comfortable manner.

I'm only 5' 1 3/4" and I have short legs, so my fet never touch the floor and my back hardly ever touches the back of the chair. Thank heavens that I don't have to wear a skirt to work anymore! Try to sit ladylike with your feet dangling!

But they aren't that bad.

The piece of clothing I think is the work of the devil is panty hose. Most hose are synthetic materials now, so they don't breathe. On a nice hot day, this just makes a nice greenhouse effect, exacerbating any butt or crotch funk.

Therefore, I do not wear hose.