“He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.”

“He does not!”

“He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!”


Like Ralph, some of us may have had an Aunt Clara who was the worst gift giver. Not that we were not grateful, it is we would have been more grateful without the fuzzy pink bunny PJs. What was the worst gift you can remember as a child. Ungrateful little wretches that we were….

A yellow gun with eyes that when you pulled the trigger it's hat went boing boing.....I was TEN for christ sakes...I went back and shot it to shit with the BB gun my dad had got me for xmas

Worst gift ever was as a post-50 big person (as the trips describe us). 9/11, Patriot Act, insane tax cuts,bomb the shit out of the ruins of Afghanistan, bomb the shit our of the ruins of Iraq, Department of Homeland Gestapo, Medicare "reform", gad, I could go on all night, but I won't, etc., etc., etc.

at age 7. From my aunt..... Sheesh.

But the year I got three retractable pens or pen/pencil sets under the tree was kind of a bummer. I was probably 9 or 10, and I guess something in the family group mind had decided it was time to buy me *grownup* gifts.

Sigh.

Aunt Margaret was a knitting machine. She could turn out yards and yards of knitting each year. The only drawback was she estimated everything. One year I received a sweater that bottom hung down around my ankles and the sleeves ended well above my elbows. On top of never coming close to fitting they always had some theme, like one year it was reindeer, huge brown abstract reindeer. Man, if I had worn that to school, my life in the third grade would not have been worth a plug-nickel.

Last year my younger boy, then 4, asked for a pink bunny suit for Xmas.

The worst gift I ever got? That would have to be the brown pants with huge yellow daisies printed all over them that Aunt Esther got for me when I was in 8th grade. Wearing pants like this was a traumatic experience, as they made my already-ample butt look larger than life.

She was my maternal grandmother's sister, a spinster, and wealthy.
Great grandfather was a very successful businessman.
He gave each of his children (4 daughters, 1 son) a house. By the time he died, all were married with families but Susie. I guess he felt protective of his only single child, because the bulk of his estate went to her. When his wife died, ALL of her estate went to Susie. She was rollin' in dough (AND real estate).

Grandpa said she was so tight she squeaked.

Each year...EVERY year...she gave me one (1) white man's handkerchief from Woolworth's upon which she had crudely (VERY crudely) embroidered my initials.

arrrgh

...got a doll instead :(

Okay, I see way too many posts about the nasty things Aunts have sent.

As an Aunt I feel I have to come to my sisters' defense and say we don't ALL send crap holiday gifts.

I once sent my nephews sex books and condoms for Xmas when they were in their teens. Mom almost had a stroke, but they were used, and the boys continue the pratice today!

This year I'm sending a cool selection of music -- Eartha Kitt, Cab Calloway, Esquivel, and maybe some "Pet Sounds".

I may be 43, single, and live with three cats, but dambit, that doesn't mean I torture my relatives with poor holiday bootey!

She had nothing but the best intentions, she just didn’t understand that 9 and 10 year old boys have to fight for their lives in grade school and wearing "deer sweaters" that made us looked deformed was not a good thing. Sex books and condoms would be wonderful. The sex books would have made us kings for the year and the condoms are great when filled with water. Wish she had thought of those rather than multi-colored knitted hats with little tassels.

ON EDIT: I did go on to say what ungrateful little wretches that we were.

KICK YOUR ASS. LMAO, and thanks Skittles for letting me steal your line. Could not resist.

;-)
To be completely accurate, I should have said "Great-Aunt Susie".
I had a raft of spinster great-aunts.
Graet-Aunt Mattie and Great-Aunt Lucia (grandpa's sisters) doted on me and spoiled me rotten. They were my baby-sitters and let me get away with murder. Once, in a selfish rotten fit of pique over who-knows-what, I smashed a piece of crystal and they never told mom. (I was a little shit there for awhile.)

As soon as I was old enough to handle money, that's what they usually gave me. That was terrific.

p.s. Aunt Lucia survived Aunt Mattie by several years and spent her last 2 years living with my wife, little girl, and I. She spoiled our daughter just as much as she used to me.
I LIKE aunts. (Just not Aunt Susie very much)