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I am George Bush (humorous and eery)

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Christian73 Donating Member (122 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-27-03 01:42 PM
Original message
I am George Bush (humorous and eery)
*I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.
* I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
* I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
* I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
* I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
* In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.
* I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in US history.
* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
* I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in US history.
* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
* I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president since the advent of TV.
* I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution thanany other president in US history.
* I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
* I cut health care benefits for war veterans.
* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
* I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
* I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in
US history.
* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).
* I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
* I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in any country in the history of the world.
* I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
* I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in US history.
* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.
* I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
* I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
* I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
* I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.
* I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
* The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds
in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation). I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
* I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
* I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
* I took the world's sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the
biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
* I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace
and stability.
* I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
* I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
* I set the all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
* I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history. In a little over two years I have created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided that the US has been since the civil war.
* I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
* I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war. I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father?s library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
* All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
review.
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soupkitchen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-27-03 01:45 PM
Response to Original message
1. And I did all this without having to win the popular vote n/t
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cherryperry Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-27-03 01:45 PM
Response to Original message
2. A fabulous
republican record on which to run in 2004! :kick:
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CarlBallard Donating Member (512 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-27-03 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
3. About the drunk driving conviction
Would there be a mug shot and how would one get ahold of it? That would be a great DU promotin: the mugshot mug.
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SpaceCatMeetsMars Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-27-03 01:59 PM
Response to Original message
4. Wow, you could do a heluva one for Dick Cheney too
Did you write this Christian73? It should be spread around. Did you send it to Buzzflash?
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Christian73 Donating Member (122 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-28-03 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. I didn't write it...
Some Lefty friend of mine emailed it to me.

I think it's wonderful.

We need posters of it.
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leftist_rebel1569 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-27-03 02:11 PM
Response to Original message
5. Wow....so true, so true
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Breezy du Nord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-27-03 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
6. That's a good way to start off.
Welcome to DU! :hi:

:toast:
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Momof1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-27-03 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
7. Great!!
Awesome post, I hope you don't mind I feel a need to copy it, and send it to a few people I know....;-)
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Enraged_Ape Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-27-03 02:32 PM
Response to Original message
8. My...God
This is one of the best things I've ever seen posted in this forum.
Welcome, Christian.

I need a drink.
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