So he punched me and called me a "bitch." Well I deserved that.

Sorry. But I understand his feelings. I have really been acting terrible lately.

Nobody deserves to be punched.

No matter how badly you've behaved lately, name-calling and hitting are abusive.

pop culture reference that I just wasn't getting, since I'm over the age of 30. Well, 35.

This is one of those situations where I'd love to be very wrong. :(

edit: I don't think it's some pop culture reference that's flying over your head due to your age, as I'm 24 and it doesn't sound at all familiar to me.

and no I don't think it's some obscure reference. I'm 43, btw.

unless we keep up with the latest and the "greatest." It sounds like a lyric from Nine Inch Nails or Smashing Pumpkins or something, and those are both probably already "old"

No one should punch you. He assaulted you. It doesn't matter how bitchy you've been.

:hug:

Can you call a friend, or a family member?

You don't deserve that... no one does.

police.

The woman said, "I am sorry he punched you, but that happens."

She needs to be reported to somebody.

file charges. Get out of the house, or have someone pick you up.

Do NOT ever take that shit from anyone, anytime, for any reason.

:wtf: That's not a professional answer!

I'm serious; call the police. NOW!!

Why didn't you call the police? Why are you avoiding taking care of yourself? Are you trying to stay with him, while at the same time trying to find someone (a psych unit?) to tell you that it's your fault that he punched you?

No one ever deserves that.

:grr: I'll clean his clock! :nuke:

clarify, please.

(behind the trees), but I guess I have had it coming. I know I should not do that.

it happens. No big deal.

The hitting...nope. No way and no how. You did not deserve it!

I'm serious. Nobody should be clipping you. PERIOD. No excuses!!

:eyes:

Feelings are fine, physical violence is not. Get out of there. There is no excuse for it.

It'll get worse...trust me on this.

Whether you know him or not is not the issue. Nobody deserves to be hit.

Seek shelter.

Please.

be hit. Please take care of yourself. I am frightened for you.

Any motherfucker punches me and BEST thing they can hope for is that I call the police.
Sorry. I revert sometimes

You need to leave, it will only get worse.

Situation is different--he's not a boyfriend or spouse.

Should still call the law, though.

trail, and you are saying it was your fault?

I don't care what you were doing, he physically assaulted you.

You should call the police.

You did not deserve that.

Sure, OK, maybe some of your actions are not things you will feel proud of. Yeah, big deal, we all make mistakes!

You promised me he would never hurt you. And now he did. Quit making excuses for him, damn it! You understand his feelings? Good! But what about yours?

Any man who will punch a woman doesn't deserve to have a woman in his life. Got that? Good.


Khash

:-)

Is it someone she's in a relationship with, or is it a stranger? :shrug:

But still, doesn't change the fact that she needs to fill out a police report on the criminal.

And she needs to examine why she would allow someone to punch her and then blame herself.

What specifically is keeping you from calling the police?

Do you think that your fear is irrational? Do you have a history of allowing people to mistreat you, and then blaming yourself?

taken me for a ride before.
Yes, I do have a long history of allowing people mistreat me, but usually I provoke it by some idiotic behavior.

You have to stand up for yourself. The police will NOT take you away because you peed behind a tree. Tell them the truth.

They do awful things.

who do terrible things.

But 95% of them are decent people. You cannot live in a city in which you cannot even report an assault to the police, just because some of them are bad.

At this point, fuck calling the police...it doesn't sound like you want to anyway. But GET HELP to figure out why you allow people to abuse you with impunity.

What I need is to stop being so selfish. :hug:

Why do you feel that you are being selfish?

We are your friends and we care about you. I just hope that your therapist can convince you that you are a good person and that you don't deserve to be assaulted.

:hug:

God how I wish I could be a better daughter and grandaughter and actually make something of myself.

You are a fucking terrific person!

And DON'T you ever let anyone - ESPECIALLY YOURSELF - tell you otherwise.

You deserve nothing but respect, and nothing but the best from others - and yourself. You're funny, sweet, kind and caring.

You don't deserve that kind of mistreatment from that asshole or from yourself.

But, sweetheart, no one deserves to be treated that way. You least of all.

And I can understand why you might not trust the cops - I don't! - but they do serve a purpose. I think you need to report it. Even if it doesn't do much good at least the ratfuck bastard will be on notice.

Seriously, elshiva, this sort of behaviour is NOT OK. You didn't get too badly hurt, but the next woman might not be so lucky.

Khash.

white guy, brown hair. But that ain't helpful.

accept his violence and phisical abuse of you. He's already got you to the point where you are looking for ways to blame yourself for his immaturity and outbursts. "I deserved it." How many times I said that, to justify staying with my abuser.

That's how it starts.

If you let him get away with this, it won't stop. It will escalate. The line has now been crossed--he has hit you--and you not only accepted the violence but also blamed yourself. Tomorrow the sex will be great--thrilling and dangerous--as you make up with him for this "little problem." He'll promise you that he will never do that again. He will tell you that he cannot understand why he would hurt you, the one he loves more than anyone in the world. He may buy you flowers.

If you don't do anything about it tonight, though...

Congratulations. Welcome to your future life as a domestic violence doormat and, later, a PTSD sufferer.

(I had deleted this once, because after you presented more info, it sounded like a stranger. Now it's sounding like someone with whom you are in a relationship. I decided to re-post it, though, because your acceptance of abuse is a warning sign that you need to tend to. Get help.)

If you are not reporting this because you urinated behind a tree and you are afraid that you'll be charged with something, you won't.

Do you know the guy's name? Are you frequently around him?

The police will be much more concerned about the guy assaulting you than about you peeing behind a tree.

:thumbsup: Maddy!

I don't know the guy at all.

I am afraid that the police with come and take me away like they did before.

You were on a hiking trail, I assume, and you went off the side of the trail behind a tree to pee. Ask anyone who hikes...that's not unusual.

Don't allow that to keep you from reporting the assault. YOU WERE ASSAULTED. YOU DID NOTHING THAT JUSTIFIES BEING ASSAULTED.

my history.

you will never report it to the police because they know your history?

Sweetheart, just because you may have made some mistakes and had some brushes with the police in the past DOES NOT MEAN that you should allow yourself to be mistreated, because the police know who you are.

The police are sworn to protect and serve ALL of us, even those of us who are mentally ill.

Hugs to you. I really hope that you can get help to figure out why you allow such shitty treatment to happen to yourself, and, worse yet, why you feel that you deserve such shitty treatment.

:hug:

selfish.

:hug:

No one deserves to be assaulted. I know you are going to find this difficult to believe, but NOT EVEN YOU deserves to be assaulted.

:hug:

:hug: My mom told me tonight: "You are beautiful and God loves you." I could not tell her this, but she knew I was hurting. I love her so much, she deserves a better daughter.

what seems to be going on...

Elshiva, I don't know why you think you deserve to be punished for behaving like a human being. You were obviously in a place where you could not take care or a basic human need without resorting to what some might interpret as minorly anti-social behavior, but if you had an emergency, then you had to do what you did. No matter what, you did *not* deserve to be physically assaulted! I am so sorry that this happened to you.

I hope that you tell your counselor tomorrow about what happened. I hope that you continue to work with your counselor to figure out how to center yourself in a place where you feel like you deserve to be treated with respect and, at the very least, where you make yourself safe from this kind of treatment.

I really don't know you, but I do know that this is a cry for help, and I hope that you get it. There's really not much anyone here can do but hope that you get the support and treatment you need, and to tell you that you are a valued member of this community.

I wish you all the best.

:hug: I love DU!

:hug:

You deserve to have good people care about you. And you do have good people who care about you.
:hug:

I still fail to see where:

1. You deserved to get punched;
2. He deserved to punch you;
3. Where calling you a "bitch" is justified, in addition to punching you;
4. Where in the ever loving hell this pencil neck gets his nads up around his neck to punch anyone anyway.

I swear, elshiva, I wish I was in your neck of the woods. I'd escort you to and fro, not because you need me, but because I can handle your light work, and turn two hands in, put this dipshit's ass in it, and hand it back to him.

Any way you "act" doesn't give cause for anyone, especially any MAN to lay his hands on you.

I promise.

I don't care what you eat so long as you promise me that you'll never let some thug hit you again, ever, for any reason.

hurting animals. :( :hug:

:hug:

no, no you didn't deserve it. Neither part of it. Jeez. What an asshole!

:hug:

elshiva, if you need to seek help with this situation, please seek qualified help.

Thank you
terrya
DU Moderator