Is 10 years without a girlfriend or sex too long?

What am I doing wrong here? I'm a sweet guy (so I've been told). I'm not horribly deformed or pug-fugly. I go out of my way to please a woman. I own my own home. I can actually COOK AND CLEAN.

And I think my greatest asset is I'M HAWAIIAN!

no the former (girlfriend), yes to the latter (sex). As my father tells me you sometimes need to just "let the snake exercise" ;)

Are Hawaiians especially hung or something? :D

I get all antsy if I don't have sex for three days let alone ten friggin years. Yes, that is way too long.

it's been hard! No pun intended as I know most of you will see somekind of sexual innuendo in that.

:D

are they blue?

"THEY'RE LIKE WATERMELONS!"

If you live in Alaska or SJ, CA it's 90-10 men-women

If so, I'v got my bags packed!!

but it won't do you any good.

If you have been looking for all those 10 years it seems a little long, yes.

Maybe you are looking for love in all the wrong places. Or, you are looking at the wrong women, either way it is time for reflection.

I saw your pic, I've read your post.....go where they can find you...you seem fine to me...I am gay but if I knew a Hawaiian woman...I'd give my limited seal of approval based on what I know.
good luck!

I think it was more curiosity but I'd like to settle into a family type situation. Thanks, brotha-man! If I decide I'm gay, I'll give you a call. :D

Now you're trolling for straight guys! :eyes:

Welcome 45th med :toast:

Since I know you were joking, I won't make any offers!

o.k. you're sweet, you please, you own your own house, you cook, you clean, maybe you even have sex with yourself?
O.K., even if you simply don't need someone else, at least somehow sometimes, give the impression that you need someone else...
Hi from Germany,
Dirk

(see the "So...how did you meet" thread.)
Go to a bar and get knee-walking drunk and see what happens.

don't drink, except for wine. I pass out when I get drunk, there's no real in-between.

I don't like the bar scene either. I am uncomfortable in bars and around a lot of drinking.

Especially since I got to brag about my own exploits.

That knee-walking thing was cool, too, but I'd personally try to get laid first.

--bkl

And I've got the hots for Hawaiian chicks. If you happen to find one, can I meet her sister???:D:D:D:D:D

I need to move back to Hawaii...................BAD!

:D

I can see just from your post that you lack it.. and there's no turnoff bigger then that.

Get some confidence and you'll get all the women you want

I was in the Army, been shot at, patched up shot up guys, flew around in helicopters.......all that manly stuff.

whereabouts do you live?

(I know how difficult it can be to meet the right sort of people to date)

OOPS! Did I just insult all the hot little Texas girls?

sorry :shrug:

good luck to you! :)

Holy moly.
:D
I mean it is a major metro city.
There have to be *some* single liberal women *somewhere* in there.
(if not, try Austin)

OOPS! Did I just insult all the hot little Texas girls?
Probably.
What you might want to do is find some liberal/Democrat type groups to hang with since it might be difficult for a DUer to date a Texas Republican type woman.(ok, dangerous)

Volunteer.
Political, social, religious... whatever.

If you're even vaguely religious try the Universal Unitarian church folks.
Art and cultural events.
Join your local friends of the museum.

Or just buy a Harley or showy sports car.
You might be coming across as too "comfy".

Women want to be challenged too, ya know.

Mojo

Honda RVF750.

Ok... quick poll, are Miatas "macho" enough to attract women?

I mean, I *know* women love them, but do women love seeing men drive them?
I don't find them particularly appealing unlike say those BMW or Mercedes sportsters, but I understand the cost issue.

Honda RVF750
Sweet, but can you safely put a woman on the back?

But this is good, you won't need help with the "challenge" part.
Now we just gotta get you headed to where the women are.
That aren't bars or typical meat markets filled with conservative Texas women... in Dallas.
Yikes.

Have you given thought to relocating to Austin?

Mojo

There's enough competition down here already! :P

Good luck, dude. I'm in your boat as well. It'll happen when it happens...but 10 years? Yeowch! :o

Hell, all you have to do is stick one of those stupid-assed Stetson hats on your head, walk up to something cute in a pair of tight jeans, slap her on the bee-hind and ask her to go cow-tipping with you later that evening.

She'll be yours forever.

Well, maybe she won't. But you get the picture.

But don't let it go too long. You could still explode, you know. And don't let anyone say I didn't warn you!

--bkl

One of my best friends is moving there next semester. (We're in Oklahoma.) I met a lot of people from Dallas on Chat. I know it sounds weird, and people on chat suck, but sometimes you get lucky. No pun intended. Anyway, my best friend is 19. If you're interested in a young thing with long curly brown hair...I'll hook you up. LOL
Duckie

:D

you can say that after a while in the relationship.

and I know many women who do as well.

You don't lay down your aces *first*.

Ya make 'em sweat it a little.
:D

Mojo

It's nice to be woo'd by a nice home cooked meal, with a nice bottle of wine, in front of a fireplace...
but it would probably freak me out on a first date.

side. ;-)

Where do you get the idea we don't?

almost desperate and it freaks women out. Surprise her on the 3rd or fourth date.

Especially if you are Hawaiian.

People have been known to actually explode after as little as four months' sexual abstinence. It is imperative that you find someone who is utterly gobsmacked-dumb for you and and give the seismic monitoring station directors something to be worried about. Several times a day for at least the first year or so. Otherwise, the entire Pacific tectonic plate may be in mortal peril!

It's your duty as an American, damn it!

--bkl
They don't call it "The Ring Of Fire" for nothin', y'know!

I love it when you talk "manditory"!

But fortunately, I live in a low-seismic zone, plus, I was trained in a small monastery in the Himalayas in the ways of Hahayana Buddhist meditative practice.

As a result, I am able to channel my raging sexuality into a spiritually energized state of brooding, cynicism, and despair.

In addition, I have the power to use that state to mount a psychical defense against the hordes of hell-demons and invading space beings which would lay waste to our planet and all its people.

So it's just me between Humanity and the Abyss.

Personally, I'd put my money on 45th Med.

--bkl

three beautiful, nubile call girls to your home.
What is your address?

Oh and the hell demons ask if you could stop waving that thing in their direction... you could put an eye out.
;D

Mojo

Are the aliens paying?

If they are, it would be the first time.

I'll be dipped in shit before those little coke-eyed gray bastards stick me with the hooker bill again!

Oh, yeah, you think it's all for laughs when they say, "We're doing anal probes -- wanna watch?" and then four hours later, you're laying in a pool of your own sweat with one or more sobbing sweeties when Bob the Pimp comes knocking at the door, looking for $500 and somebody's white ass to beat.

And as for the Hell Demons worrying about their damned eyes -- who are they trying fool? They don't even have eyes. Not with their taste in women, they don't!

--bkl
Cranky. Time to go meditate on my complete failure to win the carnal favors of Paris Hilton.

bought the t-shirt.

Lived in a tent of a mud pit in Croatia between two warring factions and taken old ladies and kids who've been shot or blown up by landmines to the morgue. I had a very satisfying and at the same time, deeply depressing job as a medic. When I save a life, I feel immense gratification.....when I lost one, I always felt like it was my fault.

I'd prefer to have your outlook on life and a way to actually channel my frustrations. Good luck to ya tho!

I think ... otherwise, if you were responding to someone else, my ego has totally gotten out of control and I need to take a nap.

Don't think saving lives doesn't make a serious wave in the pool of Good Karma. I worked in the medical field myself as a tech for some years, and even though I never saved any lives, it was the only job that ground me to a pulp that I got any satisfaction out of at all.

Getting hooked up, long or short term, isn't the only thing you can do in this life, and it sounds like you've been doing a few things more serious than hanging out in clubs trying to find someone drunk enough to love you more than life itself until the alcohol metabolizes itself out of her system.

Love-and-sex has become one of those mind-crushing weights for most men these days. In spite of my flippancy, I feel it, too. I'm 45 and alone and wondering what the hell happened. But I think that everyone, paired up or not, gets to feel that kind of pang. Life isn't quite as bad as the mud-pit tent in a Croatian war zone, but there's a 100% casualty rate. You need a few laughs along the way because there's going to be a long wait between here-and-now and the Omega Point.

I hope that's not too glum. Meanwhile, there are several female Texas-based DUers who use this system, and some of them are hot. I've seen the pictures. (Yes, even the dirty ones.) And I'm sure the experience of hanging out with a worldly-wise, seasoned man who has gone to hell for nothing more than love of country, blind altruism, and a college financial aid package -- a savvy ronin raised in the mysterious and exotic East -- would be something to set any number of those distaff liberal hearts to fluttering.

Just ask around. 'Cause there are lots of women looking for love, too.

--bkl

(And by the way, if no one has said it yet, thank you for serving, whether with the US military or as a UN peacekeeper.)

how many have you actually asked out? Maybe that's the problem.

If you were anywhere near my age, I'd suggest going to a club, getting shitfaced, and letting what happens happen. If you're an older gent, I'd suggest going to church and trying that angle...

getting shitfaced and seeing what happens?
Cool.
What church do you belong to, exactly?
:D

Mojo

so there are alot of penned up sexually, repressive issues that I have to deal with....lol.

a good Catholic girl to work through those issues with you. :evilgrin:

Dang, how can a man retain any kind of mystery in this place? HEHHE!
:D

BTW, I was brought up a good Catholic girl. :-) But, before you get too carried away, I went to public school. :-(

Because on January 13th, 2004, it'll be the 10th anniversary of *my* last sexual encounter--with a partner, that is.

Christ, I can't believe it's been that long!

DAMN...good luck on finding someone, and SOON. You're going to wind up with carpal tunnel syndrome, man!

Seriously...I'm gay, too, so I REALLY,REALLY have no words of wisdom for you.

That is what women like to see. I haven't had much of a problem finding them after I figured out that. Just act confident even if you have doubts.

Now, if only I could get my confidence back...lol.

Bro

c'mon down to the south bay area.. Lot's of wahinis here.

Lot's of ladies that love the Hawaiian guys.

Hell, if you're in your 40s I'll even take you out! :-)

on edit... ok, I see you're 29 and Catholic in another post. You need to come to L.A. there's a huge Hawaiian/Samoan Catholic population here.. Texas???? run my friend.

LOL! Am I too young?

Maybe, you do. I just know that some men treat women like they are from some alien planet and don't have normal, friendly interactions with them. In a social scene, they'll be hanging out with a few male buddies and towards the end of the night finally gather the courage to talk to a woman and have a difficult time with it. Really, speaking as a woman (although I am married), having a guy talk to me and be interested in me, is a turn on. If he is awkward, nervous and makes me keep the conversation going, that is a turn off. My take home message is to be friendly and interested in more women and hopefully you'll get one interested in you as a romantic partner.

If you weren't married, I'd kiss ya! But, I'll settle for a big, friendly hug!

a friend suggested that i not focus so much on 'degree' (i was), and just take it one class at a time, one chapter at a time, one paragraph at a time. all i needed to do was learn the material before me. degree would be someone else's call when the time was right, and i met the requirements (worst part of this analogy).

your post reminds me of that (although admittedly, i haven't read every word of the thread). how about just enjoy the company you keep? reflect on the nice people you enjoy being with. friends will reveal themselves, then good friends, then maybe girlfriend. you sound like a nice person to spend time with.

love the one your you're with? in my most humble opinion.

...um, bicycle. :silly:

Plenty of action, free and of cost! Ipanema Beach is the roxxor.

:D

Of course, they were my first 17.

I think a lot of men who have sex more get turned down more often then men who have no sex, but they just tried with more people. However, the meaningless bit isn't all that great either. I have no words of wisdom other than keep trying and you'll eventually meet the right one. Sometimes it happens when you least expect it.