(1000+ posts)
The Optimist
Arch-nemesis of the pessemist, the optimist will see the silver-lining in everything. Expect to hear things like "That was a great attempt! We got Vael all the way to 29%!" and "All we need to do is keep the MTs up, do more dps, stop dying, and we've got this." Even if your raid is absolute $!@% that day, The Optimist will celebrate all accomplishments.
The Cusser
Swears profusely about everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. He'll swear when your group is idle in front of the two beginning giants. This dude can be very funny, especially if he has an accent. He's almost always drunk and will suually tell you he's drunk multiple times.
The Clown
Provides good entertainment for your raid. Does impressions, tells jokes, sings/raps, plays sound clips... you name it, this guy does it over Vent. His main flaw is that he will do this at the worst times, including in the middle of boss fights. This guy can overlap quite easily with The Cusser.
The @$%!@%&
Damn, I hate this guy. Every time your group wipes he will immediately try and blame someone and/or anyone. If he makes a mistake, he'll come up with some BS excuse for it ("I lagged into Ragnaros; that's why I pulled aggro!", etc.) At least one wipe he will claim that it was your class that caused it, even when it was probably his class too. Example: Your raid gets to Onyxia. Your warlocks don't bother with an SS, being told that anyone who rezzes will pull aggro on Onyxia and that SSes are useless for wipe-control. Mid-fight the main tank dies, druids have no battle rez. Your group wipes. The @$%!@%&, a druid, immediately starts screaming that the warlocks are incompetent for not placing a soulstone. A warlock asks him why the MT wasn't battle-rezzed; he replies that "all the battle-rezzes were used on mages." He then continues to blame the warlocks. (This actually happened to me.) He's probably buddies with at least one officer, if not an officer himself. Tends to overlap with The Pessimist.
The Princess
NOTE: This does not describe all female players, only a certain breed of them.
The Princess will flirt with everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. She almost always gets loot over people with more dkp, due to either her flirting with all the people above her or a "slip-up" by the Master-Looter. If she's decent-looking, everyone knows what her Myspace is. If she isn't decent-looking, she'll pretend she is. She probably talks in a really high-pitched voice. She knows at least one other raider in RL and will defend him on any issue no matter what; the whole raid will probably start taking his side too to suck up to The Princess.
The Panicker
Mid-battle will start screaming about anything that happens to him or to the raid in general. Some of his favorite lines: "I'm mind-controlled! HELP! HELP!" on Luci, "PRIEST DOWN!" repeatedly, "I'M DEAD, BATTLE-REZ ME!" if he's a rogue, "ADD UNSHEEPED!" on Domo, etc. Usually the $!@% he complains about isn't anything worth worrying about.
The Vent/DKP !@#@
Constantly suggests that Vent-talk should be muted for everyone but the Main Tank. Hordes his dkp like mad and won't work with you on any item (ex: he has an epic belt and you have a green belt, your class belt drops, he takes it despite you asking if you can work something out). Amazingly, tends to have more dkp and less items than anyone in the raid, somehow.
The AFK guy
Is AFK during EVERYTHING. He's rarely in Vent (to listen for boss fights) even if he is at his keyboard, and he usually isn't. Typically places himself on Follow to avoid people noticing. He's $!@% last for his class on the Damage/Healing meter and never does his class job. He's usually there in time for boss fights but will probably alt+tab again after the fight is done and loot has been distributed. When confronted on his bad DPS, he'll come up with an excuse ("I'm a fire mage/shadow priest/feral druid/not geared/on the phone/bad connection!").
The Passer
Will pass on everything they can use, even if it's a big upgrade for them, because "someone else can use it more." If this person is a mage, there's a good chance he's saving up for a Mageblade.
The Quiet Guy
Never talks on Vent, ever. If he has a mic, it's probably dusty as hell. When he talks, the things he says are so funny that you'll wonder why he doesn't talk more often.
The Damage Meter Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsesses over being #1 on the damage/healing meters. Re-syncs everyone's meters after every boss and every other trash mob. Only stops after being threatened with no loot and/or a /gkick, then reverts to his old ways on the next run. Has no sense of caution on any fight and will ignore or disobey orders to stop attacking when aggro is an issue. Does other stupid things like crazy healings on Razor phase one, backstab-spamming the offtank's target, etc.
The Loot !@!#&
Complains often that he never gets loot. Usually tries to use a pathetic appeal to get other people in his class to pass on items he wants. Is usually well-geared despite what what he presents. Will bid on EVERYTHING without scruples, usually getting them because no one wanted, and usually has the lowest dkp in the raid.
The Guy That Yells Too Damn Loud
Can't ever control his volume in Vent. Good, Bad, whatever the situation is he's probably screaming loudly about it. If he fiddles with his outbound, either you won't hear him at all or your speakers/headphones will !&$%ing explode.
The Dude With the Freaky kodo Voice
Often from another country or down in the Deep South of the US. Nobody is capable of understanding him so he's usually ignored. Sometimes is mixed with The Guy That Yells Too Damn Loud which complicates things and is very annoying. Depending on his coherence he can easily become the Clown.
The Activist
Tries to look out for the raid, at the expense of a few of the raid members. If he's not the raid leader or guild leader/officer, he'll almost certainly be hated. Will try and end any argument that pops up in your raid, frequently with threats that he can hopefully back up. Hates wasting time and will get pissed every time your raid wipes or on any other delay at all. Gets very impatient on loot and will occasionally force it on people if there is enough of a problem. May try to be inspirational, trying to push the raid onto the next boss, but can get frustrated faily easily and will insult the raid into movement if needed. Tends to hang with only a few people in the guild, most likely other officers. This character can overlap with the Vent !@#@ and a few others, and tends to hate The Cusser or The Clown.
The Complainer
Complains about everything possible. Not really an @$%!@%& or a jerk - just that whenever something goes wrong to this person, they complain about it. "WOW will someone get this !&$%ing mob off me? I can't do my damn job when the tanks aren't doing theirs." or "Wow, nice lag tonight Blizzard. Oh wait that's every night. Screw BWL, I'm tired of this laggy $!@%." or when we're pvping "WOW I LOVE HOW
The Attention !@!#&
During raids especially, when the most people are on vent, will start talking about his personal life like we really care that much. Will bring up real life issues when we're in the middle of something and people just aren't interested. Usually he'll keep at it until someone pays some kind of attention to him. Example: "Man it sucks that I have to be at this raid tonight, cause I'm pretty depressed since my girlfriend just broke up with me. Apparently she fell for some guy who just got out of prison for sexual assault. I don't know what's up with her, but I think I'm gonna go pour rice into her carburetor after we down Vael. Oh and tomorrow I can't come to Onyxia, I have an appointment with my psychologist. I punched my sister yesterday so my mom's making me see one." Usually people just don't respond, but you can just tell they're dying for the attention. The Princess usually falls into this category.
Armchair Raid Leader
Is quiet most of the time but when an encounter gives the raid trouble, he is quick to suggest a million impractical and poorly thought out strategies which he considers to be foolproof ("Okay, let's get in a circle around Golemagg and have everyone fight for ranged aggro so that he stays in the middle and doesn't attack anyone!"). No one pays attention to him and he will never actually lead a raid.
The Dictator
Nines times our of ten, the Dictator plays the roll of guild leader. If he is not guild leader, he be found as the guild's raid leader. Basicly he is the one that gives all the orders during a raid. Prefers to take away TS/vent speaking privilages from everyone else in the raid, besides those he trusts, aka his right hand man, his cronies, and the MT. Creates a seperate voice channel for healers to speak to each other so he can ignore them but they can still hear him. Does not allow anyone to type in raid unless it is constructive. Instead a /join channel is used for all the worker bees to talk. He dictates every aspect of loot, forcing loot down the throats of passers, and denying it from Loot !@!#&s that will use it once in a blue moon. He has a horrible voice and $!@%ty mic, but you are forced to listen to him 24/7. If you dont like the way he does something, you have no room to speak, because he knows all, and in most cases he does know all. You fear to even cross his path because his 6-7 cronies that follow him as their leader would do anything to protect him. The dictator tells you what to do, 39 follow. Raiding is treated like a chore with him. Overlaps heavily with The Activist but never does things as nicely.
The Late Guy
Shows up late to everything without notice. If invites are 6 server, he shows up at 9 asking for an invite. Often demands full dkp for the time he missed.
The Updater
Tells you everything about the current fight every three seconds. "Golemagg at 86%... I'm out of mana, innervate... tank low health, heal... Golemagg at 85%!" Tends to be a healer, and if not he gets ignored really quickly.
He of 1,000 alts
This person has a level 60 of every class... sometimes two. He or she may be willing to switch to benefit the raid, but the downsides are that: 1) None of those characters are particularly well-geared and 2) He or she often forgets which character he or she is currently playing. This can leads to all kinds of hilarity... and wipes. If your guild has more than one raid, he will insist that one of his alts gets placed in the second raid over other peoples' mains.
The Pretender
While not a great leader, does his best to lead his raid through. He (and probably his whole raid) is probably a joke to the other guilds. Usually finds a good excuse to pick up loot over others. Has little to no raiding experience despite loud claims to the contrary.
The Tired One
Signs up/Comes to every raid he or she can, and then leaves sometime within the first two bosses because they're too tired and they've worked all day and have to work tomorrow. Can be a real pain if he/she does not give notice.
The New Guy
Even though he plays his class well he is constantly sending tells to his class leader and raid leader "How am I doing" "was that my fault" "I know I am new but..". Rarely speaks in raid chat but when he does its usually several lines of text recounting every raid he has been on and every guild he has been in. Apologizes for every little thing and constantly thanks the guild for inviting him and taking him.
The Under-Confident Raid leader
This guy waits for a full raid before the first pull. Will often call a raid if somone leaves citing the reason as "not enough people." When a wipe occurs blames himself and only himself. Is very cautious on everything and will often tell the raid to wait for 5 sunders on trash mobs.
The Bomb
You won't know he's in your raid until he explodes. He may get into a few minor conflicts in the guild/raid but probably won't be suspected of anything. When he's pushed too far, he will wipe the raid outright, or worse, ninja a boss's loot when you're doing FFA. Rarely gets into a different guild/raid.
The Inflamer
Will bring up controversial societal issues and inflame people on purpose. People used to him get a good laugh, new raiders will sometimes be offended/confused. Can be extremely radical ("All drugs should be legalized!") or just moderately controversial ("George W. Bush is the greatest/worst President ever!").
The Impatient Puller
The IP wants no downtime on the run. Will pull the next group of mobs when the healers/ mages/locks are out of mana and drinking. This is usually a melee class. Contradicting his need for speed, he will be first to complain about you looting in battle when you didn't have time to loot before he pulled.
The Gossip Queen:
Speaks mostly in /whispers to many people in the raid. He/she knows all the drama going on between the members of the guild and frequently will talk behind the back of people he/she doesn't like. Is known to cause a lot of drama to win loot with his "he said, she said" tactics. Is also known for the occasional very hilarious and sometimes embarrasing mistell in raid chat like, "Yeah I can't believe that Kitty cybered Rogueblade last night."
The Guild Spy
This person normally comes from the notorious guild of the server, brought to fill a slot. He sets up with guild officers from the notorious guild to infiltrate the best guilds on the server to steal strategies and if the worst case scenario comes along… ninja loots all the items on Onyxia/Nefarian because its on FFA loot. High-End guilds must always be wary of such scum.
The Guildist
This is one you will only see in guild alliance raids. It is often an officer or leader of one of the guilds. He/she will try to come up with excuses for the other guild(s) and their members to not get any loot, and will blame them if something goes wrong, even though it was blatantly obvious that it was one of his/her guildies that screwed up. Whenever one of these are involved, guild alliances will crumble fast.
The Pervert:
Makes a sexual reference about anything and everything on vent. Usually pretends to be happy with another member of the guild. Overlaps with The Clown.