My dad is probably dying and I feel so helpless

We are not close, but the ache and guilt associated with that is just consuming me. He is not getting any better. They have no idea what is making him so sick. I feel so helpless and I can't think of anything else! I am just depressed, angry, anxious and consumed with guilt.

I keep hoping against all hope for a miracle. I am just so tired of feeling so negative.:cry:

:hug:

Not sure if you live near him or not, but if you haven't seen him in awhile, think about doing so. My dad and I had the opportunity to straighten a lot of things out before he passed away (and believe me, we had a rocky relationship). I will always and forever be grateful for that.

I wish the best for your dad, and for you.

:hug: :hug:

Sending out cyber hugs for you and prayers for your dad. :hug:

I know what it's like to feel helpless, and I hope that you come through all of this alright. Good vibes to you and your dad.
:hug:

It was the same for me. My dad and I never got along- In fact, I distinctly remember several times as a teenager when I wished him dead. I cringe at that now. Later in his life we got along better, but we still were never close. I was never good enough and never felt that I ever came close.

My dad got sick in early 1998- He was having some breathing issues, and he had pulmonary fibrosis. Over the year he got worse and worse, going on oxygen a handful of months before he died. At one time he was on the transplant list for new lungs, but he was removed when the transplant doctor determined that his heart probably could not take the rigors of the transplant surgery. He died on my wedding day in 1998 and I had so many regrets I can't even begin to straighten them out. I went through a whole big list of emotions, so I can see how you are feeling. Are you able to tell him how you feel? The one thing I do NOT regret is that the lasttime I saw my dad I made it a point to say "I love you", and I will always feel better remembering that that was the last thing I said to him.

>I keep hoping against all hope for a miracle.<

My father and I didn't have much of a relationship. He died when I was 23. I wonder if things would have been a little different if I had had more time with him.

I hope that you will be able to have whatever it is you need to be able to get through this.

Thinking about you,
Julie

It is sad, but sometimes it is easier to express myself on a mb, rather than people I know in rl...I am paranoid about being judged, and I know I am not the only one to go through this.

I just wish we could have a second chance.

Yeah, he threatened to kill me a couple of times, called me a whore once ... but I was the dutiful daughter to his dying day. So I feel no guilt, or even negative feelings - we never had to discuss our differences; he was entitled to his opinions as I was to mine.

If he dies you'll never get another chance. I lost my mother years ago - there are so many things I wish I would have said to her before she lost consciousness.

You aren't being negative - you are in a state of grieving - guilt of wanting the pain to go away is a natural thing. But you won't be able to continue on through the grieving process until he passes. All adults know this so don't feel guilty about wanting to move on - but you must be strong.
Take care and good luck stranger. :pals:

I hope that you are getting all of the support you need during this time.

means he can't talk to me over the phone. Rural Australia too, so no net access, no other means of communication... sending a letter would be a no-no... emotions are NOT to be displayed in my family...

? Feel so helpless too.... but there's nothing I can do. Even the doctors don't have too much of an idea of what's going on... but they know it's bad.

Well, if you need to talk, PM me...

Have you shared any of this with your dad? Sometimes the best thing we can do is to say "I feel so helpless and don't know what to do." It can lead the way to some amazing conversations.

Cherish the time you have together. You'll never regret it. :hug:

Is a virtual :hug: and some Metta. I hope it helps, if only a little.

Buffy

:hug::grouphug::hug:

I am also estranged from my father...have no idea what it will be like in his later years


:hug: