18-yr-old wants to have sex. My 15-yr-old nephew wants to be the one.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

She's a member of his D&D group and apparently has been talking this up at games for a while. My nephew has decided he is ready for his first time.

He and his mom had an hours-long talk about it last night. She doesn't flinch. He is a smart, open-minded, communicative kid. She told him don't do it. Wait.

I want to scream, so that he can hear me 2,600 miles away, DON'T DO IT!

:banghead:

this may be his only chance!

:spray:

:rofl:

But he's extremely good looking. Has been in high school for all of six weeks and already has his own little flotilla of "chickies" as he calls them. He's so shy, so cute about it.

The competition is now closed. Pick up your trophy at Skinner's office tomorrow morning. Recommended.

and even I have to laugh.

:rofl:

and the only action I ever got involved rolling a d20.

That can hurt.

n/t

Of course now we're all over 30 and still play, sometimes with our kids around, though theyr'e all still too young to join us...we're grooming them....

In college though we played, but you'd never have guessed it if you saw us walking down the street. We looked more like grungy stoned out college kids. Our games reflected that. We'd frequently have sessions where our characters would never leave a tavern and we'd get stoned or piss drunk while playing, which was part of the reason...

Good times...

Although we were also jocks and frat boys on top of that too, so NO ONE guesses it. :-)

one of our group was a state wrestling champion, and now is a wrestling coach. Another is an amateur racing cyclist. One is a rabid outdoorsman and fisherman.

Mixed interests.

Now of course it's just our version of playing poker. Instead of sitting around playing cards and bitching about our lives, we do it over D&D.

No slam on the nephew but OMG, that's a classic post.

:rofl:

Don't want him to fail his saving throw against fatherhood. :scared:

He would have to roll a Sleight of Hand check, I'd say to get the Condom on would be a difficulty of 10. So he'd have to roll a d20 and add to that result his Sleight of Hand ranks as well as the +2 from the condom.

Unless he has a low dexterity or rolls badly, he should be ok. As a Commoner 1 though he probably has no ranks in it, and his dexterity is most likely fairly average. Still he has a better than 50% shot of getting it on correctly.

Dorkdom thou art my bane.

See Post #5! If he has such a following his level may be much higher than you suppose! And he may be able to inspire confidence with his bardic skills...

I had a stoner half-elf fighter mage back in the 90s. Favorite spell was Melf's Minute Meteors, for which he used his bong...

His weapon was a small club shapped like an ogres penis. His catch phrase at the table was "Trouble? Well then let me whip my cock out." or variations. "Bludgeoning damage eh? Lets see how he likes the taste of my cock."

And so forth.

He would routinely spend the first few turns of a combat getting high, which the DM ruled would allow him to cast even better illusions. Far more often than not, combat found our hero sitting against a tree giggling.

Well, I am, but...

against my Charm spell...


Now, woman do as I command!

:dunce:

Okay, I know you're talking about RPG terms but lord, it sounds like another language.

For a while I was thinking . . . "do condoms come in different thicknesses? +2 must be super thick?"

and has conversations like this daily (though condoms have never been the topic, everything else is fair game). Two adults and two teen gamers all living together is a frightening thing.

My son and I will be walking through the neigborhood and jumping a stick will mean he "made his dex check".

This is my life. Explains a lot about me I think.

Yeah, that was a mistake.

that must have been tough to clean up!

or subtract from the pregnancy armor class against a d20 roll? Or is it just DM's discretion? That stuff always confused me.

A sleight of hand skill roll would get the +2 I believe.

I mean, really, the damage had already been done.

continued in reply to ravenseye

http://ubergoobermovie.com/index.php

it is the best documentary about gamers!

It had a few cringe inducing moments--but overall pretty funny. By the way, those joggers were hot! ;)

commentary by the director- it was awesome. I attended with four friends, three of whom are D&D'ers- they absolutely loved it. It gave me quite an insight into a world I knew nothing about. While free is good- I hope some choose to purchase this one and make sure this director can make more movies!

that is unfortunately too true too often.

The guy that was the DM in my last group noticed one night that the two married guys (myself and one other guy) and himself and his brother (both with serious girlfriends) were always pretty reliable about showing up on time and regularly... while the guys that didn't were regularly late, or at least unreliable.

So, he said "Well, I see the guys that have actually had sex are here..."

i get home from work, watch my girlfriend fall asleep in her chair, so i say to hell with it, i'll see what's goin on in the world of politics and plant myself in front of the computer.

:spray::rofl::spray:

You know if you tell him not to, he's going to. It's just the way kids are.

I'd want to be talking to this 18 year old WOMAN about why she wants to molest 15 year old BOYS.

And I truly doubt that the girl in question knows the boy has eyes for her. Her interest in him is not part of the equation.

And if it ever gets any farther than my nephew listening to her lascivious talk at these games, I'm sure my sister will smack her around. Verbally, of course. She is not stupid.

Anyone tell her parents?

:shrug:

What are the statuatory rape laws in his state? Is his mom at least talking about condoms and safe sex? (I would assume so, since he is a smart, open-minded kid).

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

If so, why did he get to post again?:evilgrin:

I apologize for the inconvenience.

:thumbsup:

And private to ncrainbowgrrl :pals: I cooled off... I apologize if I was harsh.

And, geez, WTF do you even say about something like this? :wow:
I can only offer my sympathies, BK, cuz I sure as hell have no advice.:shrug:

Though I would bet that Skinner has a decently high Will save so the Knock was probably the better way to go.

If I'm jealous of him or not.

hand him a condom and tell him to enjoy his 30 seconds :D

Because, you know, I think you could do that.

that there is a girl at a D&D group. How did that happen?

I met my first wife playing D&D. (Neither of us was a regular-- we were both nerds, but a different variety of nerd.)

I played from Jr High through High School, and we had not a single female in any of the gaming clubs. I didnt see a girl play D&D until I went to a gaming convention (Gen Con)

There are younger ones, but games only really advance to a level of interest to the geeky girls once you get to college. The games takes on new levels, it gets more interesting, etc. I've had a few different groups with girls in them, and only one would I classify as a SCA nerdy type. The other two you'd never have guessed played D&D. A gorgeous stylish asian, and a more lisa loeby hipster type also gorgeous.

Of course these days we still play but it's just us 30+ year old gents.

Damn DND has come along way since I was in college.

not currently doing D&D, though we'll probably get back to that eventually.

Right now our group consists of 4 males, 2 females. By the time we start our next game, it'll probably have shifted to 3 and 2 (3 females if we do D&D - wife of one of the males doesn't like sci-fi games, but does like fantasy).

And that's if you don't count the female that's brought along by her parents...she's only 5 months old :D

You landed on the real conundrum!

:rofl:

I can think of four whose names I know. :shrug: My nephews are the only two guys whose names I know.

....and she was cute and a FREAK!

Let him get his jollies and just hand him a condom. Teaches a good lesson about safe sex at an early age. His hormones are raging now.

doen't mean no harm

I can certainly understand your concern.

I suppose all we can do is send good wishes for Clarity and Patience.

:hug:

now he needs to use it. Kids really benefit from adult input, even if they pretend to ignore it. I would say just the fact that he's open about it is a very good sign. And sometimes talk IS cheap. ;)


wish you all well.

hey Bertha! how is your and Mrs. V's garden? I have mini irises and lots of crocuses up. And a few hyachinths peeking out too soon.

I guess it's properly crocuses, as you wrote. One day we were goofing off, trying to come up with a new plural for crocuses... I said "they're Crocim, because they're just in time for Passover..."

ba dum pum?

I got pretty messed up by women I didn't have sex with!

At fifteen I was very intense, I threw myself whole heart into whatever I was doing. Mostly this was electronics and computers. Before I met my wife I had two relationships that were pretty much doomed from the start, but I was too young and too vastly ignorant to recognize that. (The word "shy" doesn't even BEGIN to describe me as a young man.)

When these doomed relationships ended, I was devestated. I think it would have been far, far, worse if the relationships had been any more sexual than the occassional kisses, holding hands, etc., we shared.

After that I was very cautious. When I met my wife, everything was right.

...that he had a long discussion about it with a parent instead of opportunistically diving (as most guys that age would, given even a suggestion of a chance) in suggests that he might actually be mature enough to handle it. :shrug:

Of course, that means exactly squat if the age of consent in his state is higher than 15.

Give her my number...

:D

RL

;)

:hi:

RL

Has this girl specifically said she wants to have sex with him?

What are the reasons behind this proposed union? If the kid has a huuuuuuge crush on her, it may not be the best idea, especially if she's just looking to explore sexuality. OTOH, if they're sweet on each other, or both looking to explore, and/or there's no emotional manipulation going on, I'd push prudery aside and make sure he gets the safe sex talk.

Has this girl specifically said she wants to have sex with him?

Nope!

What are the reasons behind this proposed union?

All my nephew's idea, because he's horny.

If the kid has a huuuuuuge crush on her, it may not be the best idea, especially if she's just looking to explore sexuality.

No crush, he says "I just want to get some," but you make an excellent point -- one that his mother made to him. He could be hurt, because he's really tender and vulnerable.

OTOH, if they're sweet on each other, or both looking to explore, and/or there's no emotional manipulation going on, I'd push prudery aside and make sure he gets the safe sex talk.

Exploration would be fine by his mom, if the girl were his age and they used protection. (Not like he'd ask permission, but you know what I'm saying.) And there's no prudery. My sister is a titan when it comes to laying it on the line.

:hi: Crisco

Even though he's a well-balanced kid, it will still have a huge emotional impact on him. After all, you only get one "first time", and it's something people will remember for the rest of their lives.

Of course, when I was 15 I would have jumped at the chance. But then again, I also thought I knew everything at that age.

I beg to differ. Not so long ago (up until 1800s), kids that age were already moved out of the house and many of them married at that age. The notion that people shouldn't have sex or get married until their 20s is a recent thing; for the rest of human history, kids pretty much got married off as soon as puberty hit.

So is the 40-hour workweek, child labor laws, and middle-class women having jobs outside the household. Thanks, but I'm quite aware of history and the Victorian era.

If you'd read my post, and you'd see that I was talking about EMOTIONAL health, NOT physical health. We are very different emotionally from what we were in the 1880s. And, assuming this kid was not raised in the Victorian Era, his emotional composition will be a lot different.

It is quite possible that somebody of his emotional maturity could create an unrealistic attachment to this woman that would not be healthy. Especially if she's just using him so she can find out what sex is like.

Physical maturity != emotional maturity.

He read it right the first time.

Everyone is different.

:hi:

PUNCH THE KEYS FOR GODS SAKE

Why shouldn't an 18 year old be having sex? I don't get it.

Almost everyone I know was sexually active by the time they were 16. What's the problem.

More creepy here is that these two feel the need to inform all the adults around them of the situation, quite frankly.

it's her 15-year-old nephew, who may/may not be of consenting age, depending on the jurisdiction.

OK, fine. Jurisdictions, etc.

Sorry if it seems "old fashioned" to care about somebody's emotional health, but just because you are physically ready to sleep with somebody does NOT mean you are emotionally ready for the other baggage that can come with it. Cripes. :eyes:

straight up Puritanism, then, well...

Here's a clue: a helluva lot of fifteen year olds have sex. Very very few are permanently damaged as a result.

so sue me if I think that maybe it should be saved for somebody "special". Thanks for inferring all sorts of value judgements about me, based upon whether or not I think an 18-year-old should be sleeping with a 15-year-old who she's not even in a romantic relationship with.

You must be a mindreader.

I just read your words, in any case. No need to read a mind.

this:


you really are amazing. You should take your act to vegas.

:eyes:

You can be the hysterical sidekick, jumping on stage and imagining dreadful perils at every common occurence. We'll call you the Emotional Health Consultant. When you're done evaluating the sex lives of everyone in the audience for all the emotional damage its caused, you do a little song and dance number wherein you drape yourself in a burka and psychoanalyze the stage hands. It'll be fabulous.

Don't judge someone else's concerns. Especially when you don't know what the hell you're talking about.

You put your situation online, expect it to be judged. And the judgment is consistent, in my view, with the information you provided.

.......and then found out he/she wasn't as special to the person as they thought they were going to be.

Just because there is no permanent damage doesn't mean a lot of annoying shit could be avoided with some sound advice.

Better now than when he's 40.

silly.

people are reading this.

Sad. :(

phone number. :eyes:

We're waaaaaiiting ... * taps foot impatiently *

:hi:

from what i remember very few 18 year old have sex with men younger to them...its generally older men that they want.

But, she could be a geeky D&D girl, while the above post indicated he was an attractive 15 year old male.

I knew one guy in high school that regularly dated women several years older than him. He had something about him that women seemed to love.

I have seen more than one post (not yours) assume that this is the case. As I said upthread, the chick doesn't even know the kid's interested.

but really they are both kids

But first, he is too young. I know him. What's more his mother knows him. We decide that he is too young. We know that much harm could come from him becoming sexually active at this age.

Of course he has a mind (and 'mones) of his own. All we can do is hope that if he decides to go against his mom's advice, he remembers to glove up.

And second: I know she's a kid too, in terms of maturity. But in terms of law, it would be statutory rape.

No offense taken.

You said in the OP that she is talking about it.

I'm totally confused.

If the situation is this: "18 year old girl wants sex; she has said it to a group of gamers, a group which includes your 15 year old nephew; 15 year old nephew has heard her say it, and has decided that he's going to approach her and ask if he can be one, even though she has never indicated that he is the one she is talking about and/or interested in, AND he's told his mother that he wants to be the one",

if that's the situation.... then I don't see any need to be so worried. Nothing's happened. We're not even in a position that something MIGHT happen. Good chances that the 18 year old is gonna shut him down but good, assuming he ever really does muster the courage to ask her, which there's a good chance he never will.

:shrug:

of which he is just one -- and the youngest. In many ways he's mature beyond his years.

And you're right. There's no need to be so worried. But you're dealing with the Harris Clan here, Rabrrrrrrr. Worry is our middle name, all of us.

:hi:

INMHE(xperience)

it is news to me to find out that I was molested by my high school girlfriend.

You can tell him no. Or you can give him a condom. Either way its going to happen eventually.

one dealing with abstinence and one dealing with safe-sex. Guess what I didn't have the first few times.

Emotional health! Emotional health! It's all about you're emotional health!!

:rofl:

This thread is utterly ridiculous.

It's pretty well known in psychological circles that premature promiscuous sexual activity can be harmful. But apparently you choose to ridicule those who don't believe exactly as you do. You should go hang with the PNACers, their ideology is much more to your liking.

Ridicule is often proper for the ridiculous.

As for the PNACers, I suppose its better to ridicule those you disagree with than it is to liken them to the "enemy." At least i get to laugh.

You're the one who started the ridicule, jack. It's entirely possible to disagree without making fun of other people's opinions.

Of course maybe you haven't gotten that far in junior high to figure that out.

I think it's fine to ridicule when the other position is ridiculous - even necessary.

I'm suprised mom and dad haven't revoked your computer priviledges already.

I think the "Am I Arguing with a Child on the Internet" ad hominem went out in 1993, but it's always nice to see someone who can't handle an argument go all retro.

But at least you're consistent. You infantilize 15 year olds, you infantilize people you argue with online, hell, you probably infantilize everyone. Certainly, your attitude toward sex is infantile, so maybe you're just used to infantilizing yourself.

Peace.

I just did one little click that'll lower my blood pressure, NNNS. :hi:

:rofl:

I see your point. I understand the double standard and that I may not fit the trend. But I do believe that girl taught me something. My wife thanks her.

I don't know if anyone else would sleep with him

on edit, I can't type

http://www.cybermoonstudios.com/8bitDandD.html

I forgot to add that earlier. Sorry, I'm still deciding if this is either too early for a 15 year old to handle, though my dirty pagan self is saying at least it's a healthy sexual lifestyle especially going to his parents and talking about it.

but this is the BEST THREAD EVER!

In general I'd say 15 is too damn young, but on the other hand at least there has been open discussion beforehand. That might make it healthier than some drunken rendezvous at a late age, or something similar.

As to the questions of legality, that depends on the state, but in the majority of cases this would be legal (15 year old boy with 18 year old woman.)

Good luck Bertha Venation (I still love that old username!)

and the username admiration is mutual. :hi:

I've heard of intense role playing, but geez.

I don't think any teen is too young to have sex with another teen of approximately the same age. Only they know if they're emotionally ready. Maybe they don't know either, but only the parents have any right to second guess them.

And besides, sex isn't (usually) some dangerous thing. It'll be a growth experience.

If she's interested then I hope he tells her.
If she's interested too, then I hope they go as far as they are comfortable safely going.

Good for both of them.

thanks, ThomCat. Meow. :hi:

:)

Sorry, I had to.

;)

:P

if he thinks he's ready to be a father and support a child.

Because the fact is that NO form of birth control short of surgery is 100% effective. I was on the pill when I got pregnant with my first. I was put on an antibiotic, and nobody warned me (maybe they didn't know) that anti-biotics render the pill less effective.

And there's no guarantee that if the girl does get pregnant, she'd get an abortion.

Screaming will only make him want to do it... :hug:

There is that possibility and everyone involved should be ready for that if the woman gets pregnant.

That was part of the talk his mom had with him -- the "are you ready to be a father, to go to work AND high school, to change diapers and get barfed on in the middle of the night," etc.

Thank you, sweetie :hug:

and being out and about with a diaper wearing kid and you discover don't have an extra clean one in the bag...

I think giving him 24 hours responsibility with a mobile, diaper wearing kid should be about 20 pounds of stifling parental desire.

And even if he's longingly saying "baby", It's not baby powder he'll be needing from the chemist.

She'd probably like to scream at him too, I'll bet...

The whole "they arn't emotionally mature enough" stinks like a BS rationalization to me. It does not make evolutionary sense for an individual not to be behaviorally ready for sex at the same time as sexual maturation. In most socities you were an adult at around 14. The switch to 18 being the age of majority, IIRC, was the result of an increasing number of young people going to high school and from raising the age of consent so girls would go to school instead of get married off at 14.

'nuff said.

as long as he has protection what does he have to lose?

and... um....


er......

i'm sure he wants to be rid of that crap as soon as possible, and if the girl is willing and old enough, then i say he should go for it

who are these whack teens who sit around discussing their sex lives w. their moms anyway, in my day, we protected our parents from knowledge they're not able to handle

his virginity. ;-)

Seriously, sex can make a baby, however well you use birth control. It's never worked well for anyone in my family. I had 3 children after birth control failures and then got my tubes tied when my husband had a vasectomy to make quite sure. And yes, there are things a girl can do after the event, but a girl can change her mind about going ahead with those things.

Another problem is that some people can lose their hearts badly to their first partner, and it's not only the girls who can be vulnerable.

These are the things I'd be telling my own son, if he asked my advice. But on the other hand, if he did it anyway and it was a good experience with no repercussions, I'd be delighted for him.

i used to know a guy who was put in a mental hospital for being all eff'd up over his teen-age girlfriend, they never had sex, so it was easy to romanticize her and make it all hearts and flowers instead of what it is, a physical impulse soon to be felt for another girl

making a big deal of sex -- telling kids they gotta be in love -- is a terrific way to brainwash them into confusing normal desires for "love" and blowing things up all out of proportion

condoms backed up by birth control pill with termination as a last resort does NOT fail

people kidding themselves that they can be abstinent when they have raging teen-age hormones, that is what fails


in any case, reading a bit more i doubt the 18 yr old has the slightest interest in getting together with the 15 yr old anyway, he's fantasizing here, a bit icky that he shared the fantasy w. aunt tho

You say, "condoms backed up by birth control pill with termination as a last resort does NOT fail."

And this is in answer to me saying I would warn a boy that he could end up being a father.

All the boy can be sure of is that he is using a condom, and you would already know that does not give 100% protection. The pill does not always work, and some girls will even lie about being on it. As for abortion, no woman knows how she will feel about that until after she has become pregnant. Some women, like myself, are quite sure abortion is a good option, but when it comes to the crunch, can't go through it themselves. Others can be vehemently against it, yet find they have to have one because they can't go through with their pregnancy.

And that decision is, (as it should be,) exclusively the girl's to make. So there is no point in telling the boy that his act can't make him a father.

As for "telling kids they gotta be in love", that's very different from warning a kid they might find that sex causes an attachment they were neither expecting nor ready for, which is what I said I'd do. If you think that such attachments only come from brainwashing, then I'm very sorry for you. Most people, even in this age of casual sex, still do feel something for the people they sleep with.