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Crappy mood. Going on a couple of weeks. Seeking remedies.

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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:04 AM
Original message
Crappy mood. Going on a couple of weeks. Seeking remedies.
I know one thing that would help: a clean house. But I have tried every weekend for the last three to muster up the energy to do anything besides sweeping, dishes, and laundry, and I just can't pull it together.

All I can do that energizes me is think up ideas for road trips or parties, then plan them. My best friend & my nephew are coming here in June, and all I want to do is plan what we'll do while they're in town.

I am looking for a new job, but until the interviews start rolling in, there's nothing I can do but continue to slog to the job I have. If I try to refine my resume any more, it's going to break down like gum that's been chewed for too long.

:banghead:

Thank you for listening to my rant.
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:16 AM
Response to Original message
1. I want you to please do one thing for me. It should be easy.
Please take ten minutes, and pick a small place or item in your house (perhaps your computer, or a junk drawer). Please do the following.
1) Clap at the object (put your hands together and clap. Do it! DO IT!).
2) Spend NO MORE then 10 minutes cleaning this object (please make sure it is easy to clean in ten minutes. perhaps just the keyboard, or the entire PC, but make sure that you can easily finish cleaning the item in under ten minutes).
3) While cleaning the object, constantly remind yourself that you are giving yourself the gift of a clean PC (or junk drawer, whatever). Your only motivation should be to give yourself the gift of a clean PC (and the bountiful joy of following the instructions of DU poster mdmc, lol). You are cleaning the PC as a gift to yourself.
4) Finish. Throw away the paper towels, put away the cleaning solution. You are done.

Once you are done, reflect. Do you feel better? What would make you feel better? FOLLOW YOUR BLISS. Your next step might be to use the PC to clean up your resume. You may feel like cleaning the desk where the PC is located. Continue on this path until your BLISS requires you to stop.

If you are able to do the 10 minute initial cleaning, I think your mood will improve. Are you willing to try? Please check back on this thread and let me know if there was any benefit.

Peace and low stress,
:yourock:
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:24 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. It's worth a shot.
Can't guarantee when I'll do it, though. Probably after my late-mid-morning nap. ;)

The image in your sig line looks like tripping Pez candies.
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:39 AM
Response to Reply #2
7. You don't even need to do ten minutes, just find a small task and
Edited on Sat Mar-18-06 10:40 AM by mdmc
complete it (it could even be cleaning a dusty CD or a TV screen - that would take 30 seconds or a minute tops). The motivation behind the action is really what is important (you are motivated to treat yourself, this is your only motivation).

If you are planning to take a nap, perhaps making the bed before your nap would be a sufficient action.

I am interested in seeing if this exercise has any impact on the long term "bummed out" feeling that you have.

The image in my sig. line is a huge painting entitled "Infinity Trial". It is a post modern piece that has a simple, casual non-chalounce (spelling?) feeling. I am slowly finding more pleasure in the study of art.
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NJCher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:28 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. terrific advice
I was just about to offer something similar.

Here would be my variation. Do one of the harder tasks but do it for only 10" or 30" or even an hour. Then sit down and plan your trips for an hour. Then go back to another task that you're not particularly enthralled with but do it only for a limited time. STICK TO THE TIME LIMITATION.

Quitting on the time limitation is very important because you can usually leave on an "up" note.

Then back to one of the other tasks. Trip/tasks, trip/tasks. If you do this all day long you can get tons done and still have fun.

Hey, you've got me going now. I'm going to clean the dust out from under my armoire.

Oh and mdmc, I really like that framing with thinking of it as a "gift" to oneself. That is indeed what it is because I find I enjoy my house so much more when it's clean.




Cher
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. thank you, Cher
:hi:
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:28 AM
Response to Original message
4. Instead of thinking about EVERYTHING you have to do. Pick one.
You can't finish everything without starting somewhere. Get the feel of success; move on to the next thing.

Much as was stated above. When I feel overwhelmed, I pick one thing and finish it. Soon I feel as though I've got a handle on things.
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:31 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. thanks, D
:*
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:50 AM
Response to Reply #4
9. great advice
The big picture can sometimes be too big. Break it down into pieces... and yes, you will definitely feel as though you accomplished something.

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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 10:42 AM
Response to Original message
8. Hugs to you, bertha.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

The good news is: Spring is coming, always a time for new and postive changes.... :bounce:
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Dangerously Amused Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
10. I will let you in on my housecleaning secrets.
One way or the other always seem to work for me.


1. Pick whatever room is easiest to clean. It may be a small room, like a bathroom, easy to clean because of its size. It may be a bigger room, easy to clean because it just isn't used/messed up as much. Then clean the hell out of it! Top to bottom, all the vacuuming, scrubbing, dusting, wiping down cabinet doors, doorknobs, windows, the whole nine yards. Make it the cleanest it's ever been. Add an air freshener if you really need motivation. When you are finished, step back and admire your handiwork. Then... turn around and look at the rest of the house in comparison. I tell myself that I can quit cleaning for the day at that point if I want to... but by then I almost never want to. I love what I've accomplished, all my cleaning stuff is right there with me and at that point I simply cannot resist cleaning the next easiest to clean room. And I tell myself that I can quit for the day when I'm done with the second room if I want to... but I almost never want to, so I move on to the next room...


2. Make it FUN!!! There are VERY few times in my life when I drink, okay, but this is one. Set aside a day when you don't have to do anything requiring sobriety. Put on comfy, non-restrictive clothes (for me this is like workout shorts and a sport bra) and whatever music you have that just makes you want to dance and/or sing. Drink just enough to make you a little tipsy and keep that buzz going. Then clean and groove, sista! Make it more about the dancing than about the cleaning. Got no rhythm? Can't dance? WHO CARES?! Nobody expects you to dance and look good doing it when you're scrubbing a toilet, half soused!!! :7 It's fun, really. I giggle at myself when lose my balance trying to pick up a rug, or clip a wall with my shoulder while I'm vacu-dancing.


3. If all else fails, set aside housecleaning swap dates with a friend. I've done this with a guy friend of mine who had, shall we say, a stereotypical bachelor pad and needed a push to get started cleaning for a family event he was hosting. You take all your cleaning stuff and go to his/her house and help him/her clean one day, then s/he comes to your house and helps you clean the next time. Guilt is a miraculous motivator here. You simply CAN'T sit around and watch someone else clean your house when you're supposed to be helping them, and the cleaning gets done twice as fast. On the flip side, it's always easier and more fun to clean someone else's house than it is your own.


The only other "secret" I have, and it is expensive but sooo worth it, is my Dyson vacuum. I got the "Animal" model, because I have pets (I know you do, too). I watched eBay and picked it up for about $350, but it is un-freakin'-believable in terms of effectiveness. It actually makes vacuuming fun. And I love that it is bright purple and has so many well-designed functions. It is like a big "Go-Bot" toy for adults.


Well Bertha, I hope this helps. Good luck!



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nutsnberries Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 03:26 PM
Response to Reply #10
14. I use your secrets #1 and #2 --- but
with step #1 my problem is this: I have 4 children and a clean and beautiful room doesn't stay looking like that for long no matter how hard I insist that they do their part to keep a clean room clean. I try not to stress about it and enjoy the beauty of the clean room~ knowing it will be fleeting, but so is childhood... then that thought kicks me in the pants and reminds me that a fun and happy childhood is more important than anything! :)

with step #2: I'll do the *get comfy and dance* part, but if I drink (even just a little) I tend not to care about the cleaning anymore. :party: I save the drinking part for the end of the day as a reward.
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Dangerously Amused Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 08:20 PM
Response to Reply #14
27. I understand. The trick for me



...is to stay just tipsy and distracted with the music enough so that the gross and dirty things (scrubbing out the toilet, cleaning the oven) seem less gross and dirty, and the tedious things (cleaning blinds, polishing floors) go by much quicker. Ya don't wanna get so inebriated that you knock over the stuff you're trying to dust, or trip over a bucket and get injured, or miss streaks in the glass and have to do it over again the next day...


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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 06:04 PM
Response to Reply #10
18. Cleaning while tipsy and dancing -- I second that!
Everything is fun with a glass or two of wine in you! :beer:

I've been in a huge throw-crap-out-clean-organize mode for the past few weeks and the results are making me feel great! (Plus my former best friend is back in my life after 15 years and I feel like part of my youth is being restored in some way.)
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Katherine Brengle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 06:32 PM
Response to Reply #10
23. That's it, tonight I get drunk and clean my living room!
What a great idea, lol.

Oh, and I totally want one of those Dyson vacs--they are too cool--the idea that there are little mold spores all over my house really freaks me out sometimes...
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 01:57 PM
Response to Original message
11. What everybody else said
One of my major problems in dealing with my chronic depresssion is the sense that you never get anything done. You start to beat yourself up because you're not accomplishing anything, and it just contributes to the cycle.

I've learned to break the task (no matter what it is) into pieces. For example, cleaning the house: today I'll vacuum the living room, and maybe the bedroom. Or maybe I'll scrub the bathroom sink. But I'll just do what I think I can do and not worry about the rest. It can wait, and it will get done eventually.

Also, make a list, and cross things off it once you do them. There's a tremendous sense of accomplishment in doing that, at least for me.

And if it continues for more than a few weeks, go to the doctor. There may be a medical cause involved. Best to catch it early (if there is) rather than suffer through it. I did that far too many times before they found a physio/chemical cause for my depression, which turned out to be a hormone deficiency.

Best of luck to you Bertha :hug:
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NJCher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. great ideas on this thread
I've enjoyed reading everyone's input on this thread. I think these are my favorite types of threads. I have so much to do that I am always looking for new ideas and ways to get things done.

no name no slogan, I think your "break it down" point is a good one because if we can train our minds to look at the big picture, one or two accomplishments count. A case in point is when I walked through my gardens the other day. Gardening is my big thing in life and this time of year I start stressing out because there's so much to do. Instead, because we had a mild winter, I had spent a couple hours a day every day in my gardens. Wow, what that accomplished! On one level of my property, absolutely every space possible is planted with bulbs. Not only that, it is covered with a light tan straw mulch and it looks fantastic. Very neat. I can't ever recall feeling like that at this time of year. It's done wonders for my morale. Everytime I look at it I feel great.

This is not the case on the third level where I do my vegetable gardening. It is about 50% a mess but I look at the areas I have finished and say, "I'm getting there."

These are the things I've gotten done in small increments since my last post:

cleaned the kitchen, including cleaning the refrigerator
plant peas
prep another garden bed by cleaning out the leaves plus putting in compost
grocery shopping
legal work

Dangerously Amused, I use the music technique, too. When I'm in my garden, sometimes I start dancing around with the rake because of the tune I'm listening to (Madonna's "Hung Up" is my fave). I don't care if the neighbors think I'm a nut. It's pretty isolated back here, anyway. Also, I like to listen to podcasts. I just listened to an interview with Gary Hart about his new book. It makes any task that is drudgery much easier.




Cher
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CBHagman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-19-06 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #11
29. Beautiful capsule description of cognitive therapy.
Seriously, it reminds me of what's in Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns. Very solid.
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nutsnberries Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
13. what a thread! i love it - esp. the clapping part!
That's one thing I've never done - clap at the object/task! :D

I'm always up for new ways to psyche myself up to do the things I don't want to do. I'm going to take it a step further and clap at the completion of each success too. Everyone here (at home) will be sure I've finally gone all the way over to the side of insanity! Clap, task, applause! :applause:


:woohoo: !!!!!!!!!

i'm bookmarking this thread, baby!
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. the clapping is a way to generate energy
and to disperse negative enegry...
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nutsnberries Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. if clapping generates energy, then clapping increases mc2, right?
and in this case mc=more clean!???

(i'm not making fun here... i really enjoy these suggestions :thumbsup:... and yes, i'm cleaning today!)

:applause: ~i'll be drinking tonight. :party:
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 05:43 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. more clean!
I got the idea from studying fung shwey.
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YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 06:16 PM
Response to Original message
19. Love Actually...
This movie always cheers me up.
Duckie
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 06:23 PM
Response to Original message
20. Take a cue from the cats.
Clean the rug, roll around on it and stretch. Take a nap ;)

Wake up in 10 minutes and race around the house being silly, only hold a dust cloth in your hand while you do it. Stop. Catch your breath, clean your face. Take a nap.

Wake up in 10 minutes, look around for someone to annoy a little. Roll over and grab your tail. Race around because someone just grabbed you tail. This time, grab the vacuum and take THAT with you. Stop. Look all dignified at your cleaner surroundings. Take a nap.

Every 10 minutes, wake up and race around on one silly task. Then STOP. Admire your work and purr.

Rinse and repeat. Cats have a good philosophy: If it's worth doing, do it hard for 10 minutes then observe your progress and have a nap :D

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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 06:25 PM
Response to Original message
21. Here's a remedy!
:hug:

I am very sorry that you are so down. I'm sure the job situation had a lot to do with it.
You're just in a funk. It'll pass.


:hug:
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Katherine Brengle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 06:28 PM
Response to Original message
22. I completely feel your pain--I have been doing exactly...
the same thing. My house is a f*ing mess, and it was spotless a week and a half ago.

I have dishes everywhere, clothes everywhere... This place needs help, and so do I...

BAH!
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 07:14 PM
Response to Original message
24. I have that problem too
I am down, have a messy house that I cannot manage to clean, and looking for a new job. I am also good about making plans but unfortunately I haven't been following through.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 07:14 PM
Response to Original message
25. Now now. Cheer up.
It sounds as though your anticipation of your get together has you all excited. That's all. Maybe you could try brainstorming about how to make the best of your visits this June WHILE doing some of the mundane monotonous boring things that need to be done like housework.
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yellowdogintexas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 07:47 PM
Response to Original message
26. I am with you Bertha, I can get myself to do laundry, feed myself
and the cats, load and unload the dishwasher and that is about it.

I absolutely hate to do housework alone. Hopefully when Hubby comes back for his next extended stay he won't have the flu and a sinus infection and I won't be working 50 or 55 hours a week and we can get some things done.

The cat method of energy conservation may be a good idea for me. If I do too much bending over, I spasm my lower back, then I am miserable for days.

Fortunately, I currently like my job and employer, and you would kill for my li'l ole commute.

Why don't you and Mrs V just come to Texas and up our Blue Vote Count. Lots of Lawyers in Tarrant County, and some of them are Democrats!!!

Seriously good luck with the job hunt. Hold out for the best
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bluerum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-18-06 08:23 PM
Response to Original message
28. Trip to Hawaii? nt
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-23-06 09:33 PM
Response to Original message
30. any of this help?
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