What is the WORST decision you've ever made?

Copycat, but probably a good topic anyway...

Mine? Not telling him that I thought the jump was too high and he'd never stick the landing.

and I tried to color it darker. It turned purple. :scared:

The "important mistakes" made me who I am and where I am today, so I wouldn't trade them for anything. :D

When I was in college, having this "thing" for Mike Patton (Faith No More) I dyed my very long rockstar-ish hair magenta, the shaved sides a purple-ish, and shaved the lines into them. Okay, maybe not cool, but I though it was.

I agree...wherever you go, there you are, and life today is a sum of the parts of yesterdays gone by.

This though was a purplish silver. I had crazy old lady hair (and I was 16). Yikes!

The only good thing I can say is that I survived it.

Certain positives aside...

Mostly about listening to my feelings and asserting myself. that I deserve good treatment. That I'm not a victim. Stuff like that.

Actually, a pretty good decision, maybe. Seems like what you learned, maybe can't be taught many other ways.

I don't know that I'd be who I am today without that experience, but it was pure hell at times.

I am going through something very painful involving my marriage of 24 years right now. It is sooooo incredibly painful. Does the wounded era ever really end?

I'm really not hurt by the break-up anymore and wasn't for long at all. His behavior in the immediate aftermath made it easy to put thoughts of him behind me.

In my case it's the abuse that it's hard to move past. :(

Well, not the same guy as you, but the same bad decision. :D

:scared: He was unhinged.

Very, in fact. It was sad, really. But like you, I learned a lot - especially that I'm not a victim. And that is a huge thing.

I remember standing outside the night before my wedding for hours just thinking about how it wouldn't work, and then I finally conned myself into thinking it could (a friend said her breasts were what conned me) but, of course, it didn't work out. However, at the time, I didn't really know if it was just cold feet, or if it was legitimate doubt.

But, when my now ex filed for divorce, she asked if I was going to sue her for mental abuse.

I learned a lot, however.

but I was too stubborn to back out. I'm learning make my stubborn streak serve my needs instead of letting it run my life. It's hard.

1) Make sure to either live with a woman, or see how she is on her own first - my ex-wife lived at home with Mom's Cleaning & Laundry Service before marriage... so, even though she didn't work for the first few months of marriage, and then had a part-time job... and I was working 70-80 hour weeks and still ended up doing all the laundry & 90% of the house cleaning.
2) Make sure you are financially stable, and both of you have reasonable ideas on spending money... and
3) Not to judge a woman by her bra size :crazy:

(well, just kidding on the last one)

I'll take notes. :thumbsup:

That might be a good idea for you.

Had second thoughts all the way down the aisle. I was determined to make it work. Out of that bad decision, I ended up with the greatest gift I've ever received - my daughter.

Still, it's been a good 18 years....

It could have been worse...

The years I stayed after it became apparent that it was not going to work can never be recovered. :(

Should've just shacked up together. Just because you are pregnant does not mean signing legal papers will help anything.

Not sure I'm going to recover from that one.

Didn't stray, but fell. It can do two things:

1. Make you reassess what's going on and make your marriage more than it was.
2. Make you reassess what's going on and get out of something that isn't working.

I hope things work out for you. :hug:

the man in question has decided I'm not for him. They say time heals all wounds. I truly hope so.

Not looking to draw out anything you don't want to post.

Falling in love is a pretty big deal, though, regardless.

coming out of the closet to my parents. I wish I had done it differently.

But on the positive side, coming out was the best thing I have ever done and I posted that in the "best decision you have ever made" thread! :hi:

and see post number one (1) in this thread! All's well that ends well I suppose! :)

Post number one (1) made me :rofl:

But the advice at the end of the post is very true! :)

It was still the best thing you've done, so you say.

Besides, and I'm totally talking out of my ass here, but regardless of how it was done, the outcome should be the same. Should be...

It was the best thing I ever have done.

I meant it that it's the best thing you've done, according to you, rather than me asserting any opinion I might have on it.

My opinion would be to agree with you.

I didn't mean it as a negative at all, and I'm sorry if I came off that way.

But I did think for a second that you were questioning the truth in what I was saying.

No problem man! You're one of the good guys! :hi:

Because that always sucks, ultimately.

I am once again on my asexual-like-Morrissey kick, because that's probably best. I'll change my mind about that, but I shouldn't.

:nopity:

and brings the potential for a lot of pain. Whoever said that it is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all is full of crap.

I've loved, it has sucked. The happier I've been while in love, the worse it's been at the end. And honestly, every love story ends sadly one way or another, even the best of them.

Just....ugh. Just thinking about it gives me a headache.

Actually, no, the even dumber decsion that it possible for me to do that there.

Redstone

breaking the fall, and breaking something else?

Same incident?

Don't ride the skid!

Redstone

Still trying to get over that.

If you don't mind saying? Did you always get a needling feeling like "this isn't the guy for me" or did it evolve over time?

weird, the night before my wedding... I was CRYING to my Mom to make it stop.

I got married for all the wrong reasons.

Sounds like you were under a lot of stress about it even before you got married!

Hahaha GOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I'm kidding. Really. I am. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Just don't vote for him in '08 (oh, you KNOW it'll be an issue)...

Now, we do have a cat, if you don't mind. We won't make you stay in the cage with him, I promise! :)

I promise I'm mostly harmless :evilgrin:

What's so wrong with them? He's a good man, so maybe I don't have a frame of reference on this...

recently, buying a Ford...long story.

Moving to SW Missouri. Things are going well, and its wish washy at times, but at times, i fear i made a mistake in moving down here...just depends on what kinda mood i'm in.

The worst decision I ever made was probably quitting my first job after college. Maybe I'd be a Republican by now, but I would have certainly been a rich mofo if I'd stayed with it. Didn't realize I was being groomed for my boss's job, and I took the bait for a bait and switch thing with another "opportunity" that would make George Bailey (from It's a Wonderful Life) weep. Also, to make the stupid decision even stupider, I thought I'd be clever and cash in my 401 to pay off my credit cards, which didn't really end up happening because of moving expenses and Christmas. If I'd just not fallen into the trap, I'd be set for life... but would I have been happy? Probably. Oh, and did I mention the approximately 4-1 women-to-men ratio of employees? Sigh...

that turned out to be a big nothing.

If I'd stayed, I'd have had (and still would), pretty good benefits, and have made much more than I have in the intervening years (although the job wasn't that good paying, but I've worked places since where the pay was/is really low).

Like you, I took out my retirement from that job.

There were some negatives about that job, such as a good many boundary-challenged, redneck co--workers.

Still, for years, I bitterly regretted leaving that job.

Which are the same mistake really.

I told a friend recently, "what I should do in picking out a guy is find someone who doesn't appeal to me at all, doesn't interest me at all--he must be the right one." LOL

women who needed me at the time. This has worked, but only for an average of eight to ten years before they've decided they needed someone else. I've steered clear of serious committment since the last one left in 2000.

you wouldn't mind if I said I've never made too bad a decision before? Many bad things happened to me, of course, but once I got past the child stage of not really 'making' decisions, I always tried so hard to make those around me happy... mind you I did leave time for myself, but to be honest, that was only so that I could help others indefinately... I wonder if considering oneself to be worthless counts? Won't stop me of course.

But hell, now I think of it, at least 1/2 of you wouldn't have made those big mistakes before teenage years, and I AM 17.

One question: What flvegan mean "not telling him the jump was too high and he'd never make the landing." I can tell a fair bit from just that though... would someone provide details/a link?

You wouldn't mind if I said that I chuckled a little when I read that you never made a bad decision before, in the context of you being 17?

Like, if I said to you:
Big Wheel+empty stadium+late at night, "beer" and "first aid" are unnecessary modifiers!

mikey_the_rat

:rofl:

I was a crappy student but I should have stuck it out for that last semester. Instead I quit and started building furniture figuring I will take a course each semester. Then I thought I would finish before my younger cousin, then my youngEST cousin, then before my kids went to college. Now my son is in his third year and I still haven't gone back. Oh well, maybe when I retire I'll have the time.

I went for one year and then totally screwed up my second year. I guess I thought sitting in my car doing bong hits was a better way to spend my time. Oh those crazy 70's. What foolish choices I made.

I have a good job but it was only after years of hard work. If I lost it, I would be hard pressed to find one like it without my college degree.

I had one semester left (and was not a crappy student) when I left school bc I was pregnant with my daughter. She's going to be 2 next month, and I still haven't really thought much about going back.

I put a lot of time and effort into it, and for that I would like my degree, but I don't feel as if I am lacking something in life--I am still 10x smarter than most of the people I come into contact with, lol.

I met someone and feel in love, and knew that if I left, I would probably lose him.

I lost him anyway. He was the first of many who wouldn't stay.

If I'd have gone to college, I'd still have my degree.

yes, I am a dumbass

Still bothers me 14 years later.

Whenever I'm not hating love and all its many evils, I fancy myself "the one who got away" from one particular guy. And it's not great to be on the other side of that either.

If she was it, why didn't you try to stop her from leaving/tell her how you felt/beg her forgiveness/whatever? Have you tried to contact her since then? How do you know it's over for sure without even trying?

Since you let her get away, maybe it wasn't the love you thought it was? (Some dummies try to hit me with that one, LOL, I'm just playing devil's advocate here!)

my second marriage

the layoff from my job 5 years ago (I could have easily had another job in the company and my boss was really pushing me to do that but I just wanted to get out and collect my severance).

Seriously I don't know which is worse, I like smoking most of the time even though I know it's not good for me and I really didn't want to saty with the company I got laid off from - but I need a good job and money badly.

It's been a tough road.

My husband and I bought a home 3 years ago and it was just too much too soon for us. We're just not house people yet. :shrug:

my house ruined my marriage. Literally. But at least it got me out of a bad marriage. :evilgrin:

That'll teach me to try and be an overachiever in a subject that I've always hated, haha.

Hopefully it doesn't get much worse than that. We'll have to wait and see, I guess.

I've made a lot of bad decisions but I've always ended up in a better place at the end of it all so it's hard to say.

I guess choosing to stay with the man who became my second husband would be the worst. He was a crook and an abuser and I got stuck in that cycle for 8 years which took a horrible toll on my kids. Now in hindsight, I see I duped myself into thinking it would be okay because I was pregnant with our son and I felt so guilty about depriving my daughters of their dad (my first husband whom I'd divorced) that I vowed not to do that to my son as well, even though I had great misgivings.

But live and learn - I never had much compassion for women in abusive relationships until I lived through one. Now I understand those dynamics and how easy it is to get caught in that cycle. It's made me a better person, my kids have all grown up into wonderful adults...

Rough as my life has been (and it has), I'm very grateful for it. It's taught me so much and given me so much understanding and compassion for others.

I've got some pretty good scars from some of them.

I figure it this way -- if things hadn't turned out so badly the first time, then a second time would certainly have killed me.

A friend and I made a pretty bad decision when we were in junior high school. We were both pretty obsessive about World Wars One and Two (myself mostly about submarines, my friend about death in general) so we got some pool chemicals and made a vast quantity of chlorine gas. Damn, that was unpleasant, like an elephant stepping on my chest, never mind my burning eyes and mucus membranes. My friend had sense enough to stand further away and upwind.

So of course we started working on home-made gas masks.

Fortunately we go bored with that project before we could test it.

Unfortunately our next project was pipe bombs, but we survived that too.

Years later, when we had moved away to different cities, I heard my friend hadn't been so lucky as me.


I recently found this picture in a
junk store and I post it in memory
of my friend J.W.

I'm back and I appreciate it in a way I might not have in my twenties but I wish I had finished up sooner.

And I'll just leave it at that.

Dumb move

Unless that man is Shah Rukh Khan. :)

I want to finish BUT it is soooooooooooo expensive.