why do men and women look for different things in relantionships

if you say they don't, I will not even try to convince you. Is it evolution?

I keep telling mine, "you got me in trouble again.

that women are looking for lifetime love and commitment - men are looking for friction.

and we can't have that, because it would also be raelly, really boring.

Or maybe it's becuase the natural state of humanity is that the sexes come together only for procreation, but that we were intended, actually, to live with and hang out with, and maybe have recreational sex with, only our own gender.

Many times a woman's best chance to have a good living is to look for a man who is a good earner. We can rail and cry and wish it were not so, but it is still the case that women are much lower paid, at least here in Louisiana. Not that men in Louisiana are necessarily all that highly paid either.

Evolution is not about relationships. If it was evolution, the women would have long ago taken charge and only the men who were exceedingly cute would even be allowed to stay in the community...isn't that how the higher primates do it?

Men can be more romantic because they have less riding on who they end up with. Let's face it, a man can go for a pretty face and an empty head and not be concerned if the woman is without merit as an income earner. A woman must be more practical. If society would change, women would change. They've already changed a lot.

P.S. I'm a woman and all my life I've heard this question of why do woomen are seeking men with great cars, great incomes, big careers, etc. To me it seems it would be fairly obvious.

right or wrong that's why I think.

Mother Nature : Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species: Sarah Hrdy.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0345408934/qid=1070586944/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-3652598-6689516?v=glance&n=507846
You can get it used for about $9.

We primates look for hard coded social cues.
For men, fecund women, young, clear skin, "child-bearing hips"(hour glass figure).
For women, strength, broad shoulders, narrow hips, social status.
For both, symmetrical faces/features.

This idea about romantic love being a "woman thing" is relatively new and a construct of western culture, ironically enough, created by men.

Women have almost always been about family/clan communication and relationship building to ensure the survival of their offspring and men with spreading their genetic heritage as widely as possible... which, IMO, we have confused with all of this "women are from Venus, men are from Mars" nonsense.

Mojo

Funny, I don't have the "toys" a woman has. Much to my frustration.


Seeing as regular friction is NOT what I'm looking for.

I have female friends who cannot be monogamous and male friends that are completely so. I have male friends who got their hearts broken very easily and female friends who were predators.

My best friend is in a long-term (14 year), sexless (for the past 6 years)relationship and has regular fuck buddies. I have a male friend in his 40s who has only had 6 lovers in his adult life and is completely smitten with his wife.

I dismiss the fallacies that women are more heart-oriented and men think with their dicks. It simplifies the complex nature of men and women and denigrates men mostly. I know men who spout the typical male BS but would never act on it. I know women who appear traditional and are anything but.

in large you know it's true. Women had to be aligned to men for protection and food. Just look at the bodies, who was supposed to be the hunter and the fighter? Now we almost don't need those but if those instics have been passed for millions of years, they're still there.

There's been many books written on this topic. Especially recently with the advances in neurobiology (studies in sex dimorphism as the putative basis of social gender differences). Pinker released a book not too long ago, but I forgot the title already. Duh.

I'm a fan of Anne Fausto-Sterling's work.