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Women: How often or do you ever ask men out on dates?

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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 03:52 PM
Original message
Women: How often or do you ever ask men out on dates?
just a little informal, unscientific survey...This year I'll be 30 years old, and I've had to do all the asking out for dates--No woman has ever taken the reins and actually asked me out....
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 03:54 PM
Response to Original message
1. Only one woman ever asked me out
I married her.
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 04:12 PM
Response to Reply #1
8. good to see it happens to some people
other than myself, lol
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azmouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 03:55 PM
Response to Original message
2. I asked my husband for the first date.
I'm glad I did. He was too shy to do it himself and I would have missed out on a wonderful man if I hadn't asked him.
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 04:12 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. good story
glad to see things worked out so well!
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CottonBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 03:55 PM
Response to Original message
3. I did once when I was single.
Making that phone call was tough! Fortunately, the guy accepted. He was HOT! ;)
Unfortunately, the guy's slighty nerdy best friend (who was a friend of mine as well who had a crush on me) showed up at the bar and sort of ruined the date by sitting with us. :( Oh well.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 06:41 PM
Response to Reply #3
17. Yeah. Nerds are little pathetic shits who ought to be exterminated.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 04:02 PM
Response to Original message
4. I have
It's usually 25-75 where 75% is the guy asking me out.

I asked my current SO out--but it was sort of mutual, so I don't know if that counts :shrug:
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
5. I've done so...
but I quit once I got married. :)
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #5
23. Well, that explains that
I'm not gonna wait for you anymore.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
6. I'm involved with someone, so I don't ever. But, -

As I evaluate it, I've far more often been the pursued and not the pursuer. I think the need/ desire to ask a guy out have rarely materialised. Whether it's cause or effect, I'm also more comfortable with the role of the pursued.

Of course, I also dislike dating and have never felt stigmatised by going to events solo if I wanted to attend. So if my feelings for a man were deep enough to want to explore a relationship with him, chances are excellent that I would already know him well enough to feel comfortable suggesting we spend time together.
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Iniquitous Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #6
34. What she said.
I'm currently involved in a serious relationship. If I weren't, Iwouldn't have a problem "asking", it's just that in the vast majority of my experiences, there's usually something there before anyone even has to ask. By the time it comes down to a "date", we already know we like each other and are interested in a relationship together.
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miss_american_pie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 04:25 PM
Response to Original message
9. I never did
But I started dating hubby when I was quite young.
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Hell Hath No Fury Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 04:39 PM
Response to Original message
10. Christ...
Edited on Tue Mar-21-06 04:42 PM by Hell Hath No Fury
if I had waited for guys to ask me out, I wouldn't have had a boyfriend or date since I was 20! Men simply do not ask me out on dates -- for whatever reason -- so it's always up to me to do the asking. Going to an all-girls Catholic school got me used to asking out guys very early in my life -- no askie, no prom (or winter ball or senior ball or...)

Maybe it's unusual for your part of the country?
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 09:24 PM
Response to Reply #10
26. i ask all the time
very little in the way of success, though
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 10:19 PM
Response to Reply #10
33. I'm in CT
Edited on Tue Mar-21-06 10:20 PM by NewJeffCT
Which is supposed to be a fairly progressive state... I'm 39 years old but, not once has a woman asked me on a date. While I'm not Brad Pitt, I don't think I'm chopped liver either. Granted, the last 4 1/2 years, I've been married. But, even before that.

Granted, sometimes I've had a few woman I've asked on dates basically take me to bed on the first date... (and, I ended up marrying one of them)

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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
11. I've ask men out on dates.
I never thought about how often. :shrug: I just find it very easy to say "Let's have supper together."
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brook Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
12. There was a time
when three or four of us "executive secretary" types used to look around Harry's Bar at lunch - and if we spotted an interesting guy, we'd invite him to be our guest the following week. No romances ensued, but it was a lotta fun to see your boss's face when you told him you had a lunch date with some other exec he couldn't get on the phone. Sort of a "Revenge of the Glass Ceiling" game. :)
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
13. I've done it a few times
I'm not sure how many. The guy I dated before my present SO was someone I asked out. And I've asked out at least 2 other guys I can think of. I've never been turned down - really, I think it's easier for women to ask men out rather than the other way around because guys don't say no nearly as often as women do. Guys don't say no to much.
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tjdee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
14. Fuck no, but that's because I have issues.
I figure that's the least a guy can do, make the first move.

I just deleted a lot of stuff here because I don't want to sound like I hate men, because I don't.
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YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 06:21 PM
Response to Original message
15. I just asked my husband at 3....
He's calling me in ten minutes to say yes or no. :evilgrin:
Duckie
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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 06:25 PM
Response to Original message
16. I asked a man out 14 years ago after being friends for some time.
In April, we will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary in Las Vegas.

It's MONEY, baby!
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 06:45 PM
Response to Original message
18. I asked my first serious boyfriend to Homecoming
He turned out to be a real creap. After that, I asked five different guys out on five different occaisions and was turned down every time.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
19. I've been asked out by three women
In fact, every woman I've ever dated asked me out. (or else just jumped me and told me in the morning that we were dating.)

I've only ever had to ask out guys.
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
20. My wife asked me out for our second date, years after our first date.
I asked her out the first day I met her, but she declined based on the fact that she had a boyfriend.

Several months after she broke up with him, I asked her out again. She went, but soon decided to date someone else.

I kept falling deeper and deeper for her, but I figured that the best I could do was be a good friend. Basically I'd given up on being more than that. To my surprise, after some years, she asked me out.

The rest his history. We've been together 20 years, and I still love her and still am excited whenever we have a chance to date.
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Ariana Celeste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 08:36 PM
Response to Original message
21. Been about 50/50 for me
But then I was mainly attracted to really shy guys. :7

(And I'm a tad impatient)
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. Really?





:hide:
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Ariana Celeste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. ...
:blush:
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Iris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 08:40 PM
Response to Original message
22. Hey, Blue, I don't want to hijack your thread, but
you should find out how it happens that the women ask men out on dates. Like with my husband, we were flirting around a long time and if he had not asked me when he did, I probably would have done it myself. So, I'm saying, if you're hanging out with someone a lot but haven't really been on a date, maybe, if you really want her to ask you, there's some way you can make it happen???!?
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 09:33 PM
Response to Reply #22
27. i think i see what you're saying
for starters, i was wondering IF girls ever asked guys out at all, because i had never seen or heard it happen anywhere outside of the movies or Sadie Hawkins day...And sadly, i'm not hanging out with any datable women at the moment---Today I was just going through the motions and ran into a couple of lovely women (strangers) at different parts of the day...I though about asking them out after casual conversation, but for some reason that thought just popped into my head: "Why must the guys do all the asking out and deal with the constant burn of rejection?"

So I wanted to consult the women in the lounge (that bottomless well of wit and life philosophies!)
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mzteris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 09:36 PM
Response to Original message
28. Well I NEVER ask men out on dates
anymore!

'cause it would really piss off my husband!


:rofl:


But "back in the day" - you bet I did, baby! ;)
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 09:38 PM
Response to Original message
29. If I didn't ask
I would not have gotten any. And I'm way far from a troll. Go figure.
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 09:49 PM
Response to Original message
30. I did, but I ran into one
who would always say YES when I asked him out, but would never ask me out, so I kind of got put off of that.
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Darth_Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 09:53 PM
Response to Original message
31. it's hard......
women fear rejection, too. :hug:

Maybe I should start taking the plunge myself. :)
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lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 09:55 PM
Response to Original message
32. I have several times..
not sure how many; since I'm now in a committed relationship. If I am comfortable I have absolutely no problem doing so. I'm 32 now btw.
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Kat45 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-21-06 11:32 PM
Response to Original message
35. I have a few times, and every one of them said no.
My self-esteem couldn't take it, and I haven't done it in a long time. Even on match.com--if I wink at (or write to) a man first, he never writes back. I've had several dates from the site (though nothing that went anywhere), but they were all men who wrote to me first. It bums me out, because it seems that the only way I get to go out with someone I'm interested in is if he takes an interest in me first. I don't get it. :shrug:
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Starlight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-22-06 12:07 AM
Response to Original message
36. I have many times.
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