Why does the operator of the Gaylord Opryland Hotel believe...

...that people staying here on weekends would be interested in "The Wall Street Journal?"
...that liberal applications of Febreze are what differentiate a non-smoking room from a smoking room from day to day?
...that "we considered offering wireless Internet but found our visitors thought it was too complex?" (What the lady at the front desk told me.)
...that travelers only need one outlet that's not in the bathroom?
...that we want to hear the very loud maintenance walkie-talkies in the hallway at all hours?
...that "away from the elevator" means "right next to the ice machine?"
...that it's easier for me at 5'2" to stretch up and look out of the peephole that's at 5'6" than it is for people who are taller to bend down?
...that a parking lot and a bare patch of mud constitutes a "garden view?"

I have found tourist hell -- or at least tourist purgatory -- and it is here.

But I also hope you hear some great music while you're down there and have a great time. :)

I always check this site before choosing a hotel. For some reason there isnt a review of the Gaylord Opryland.

http://hotels.about.com/cs/tennessee/p/tn_gaylordopr.htm

weeks ago on a business trip and was blown away by the place. He couldn't stop raving about it. Which surprised me because he and I don't really like gimmicky stuff. We'd much rather stay in a charming old pensione in Europe than a super-deluxe tricked out suite in Disney World. So I figured it really had to be awesome if he was so jazzed about it. Maybe his expectations were really low going in because he was not thrilled with the idea of going to Nashville in the first place.

Of course, he was told to request an interior room (which are apparently the superior rooms) so he was overlooking some crazy waterfall, which probably drowned out noise from walkie talkies or anything else, really. Plus, he is 5'8" so the peephole wouldn't have been an issue. And I am 99.9% certain he *DID* have wireless in his room. I know they were doing work when they were there and I was pretty sure he told me he was doing it out on the balcony at one point. I could be wrong though.

at 4'11" the peep hole thing pisses me off too. Personally, I think febreez smells worse than cig smoke. That shit is nasty.

well, that might not explain it completely, but it's a decent start. :puke: on the gaylords