If you ran for Prez, what would YOUR "Hotel Needs" list look like?

Smoking Gun published the "hotel needs" lists for both John Kerry and Dick Cheney. Now, if you were campaigning for the White House, what would your list look like?

Here's Kerry's:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com//archive/0327061kerry1.html

Tons and tons of hookers.

nonsmoking room,
cable TV,
water,
a orange soda,
a pizza,
directions to any "adult" entertainment nearby.

Hookers are always a plus.

---Bottled water
---organic fruit (I like all kinds)
---organic vegetables (I like all kinds except beets)
---comfortable king-sized bed (I get stuck with two big dogs and a husband in my queen-sized bed at home, so a king-sized bed gives me lots of room!)
---NON-smoking room. That goes without saying!
---high-speed internet
---cable TV which includes HBO and MSNBC
---fitness room on the premises

I can make my own coffee if I want it and I know how to find the ice machine!

See---I can keep it simple, lol!

Because on page one it says he hates celery but on page 4 it lists celery as one of the veggies to have on hand. :shrug:

Anyway, for my list, water bottles (both carbonated and non) would be EVERYWHERE and all my meals would require one serving of lean protein, one serving of complex carbs and one serving of veggies. EVERYTHING would be organic. What a wonderful way to maintain healthy eating habits. Protein bars on hand would be a good idea too as well as green and English tea.

Rooms would be non-smoking with a king size bed and extra pillows. Every hotel would have a full gym and a pool. I prefer a suite but not with a kitchenette and I would like fresh flowers on the left bedside table every day. Also, none of that cheap scratchy toilet paper. Give me the soft stuff. :D

Like JK, I would also want the local papers as well as the NYT and WP and an internet connection would be a huge must have. The papers should be delivered at the same time as my morning coffee with breakfast arriving 30-45 minutes after that.