Christmas gifts from hell thread

Resist the urge to buy one of these. Never give a chia pet to a person you love.

Other gifts from hell?

that makes a ton of noise. People we don't live with (or near) seem to think this is a cute and funny idea!


:hi:

some of us give those gifts to your children on purpose. :evilgrin:

Just the commerical would make you ashamed to own one.

A Christmas present from my dear brother one year:

Belson® Profiles® Spa Nail Dryer

Perfect for both manicures and pedicures! Features two heat settings: Cool for natural nails and Warm for acrylic nails. Dries one hand at a time.

I actually almost bought one for Miz t. last year.
I was at the end of my rope.

"I actually almost bought one for Miz t. last year.
I was at the end of my rope."

You would have been. :7

I bought my wife a combination blender, food processor, mixer, soldering iron, kitchen-sink kinda thing. She got pissed off because:

• the implication that she belonged in the kitchen
  
• she had been dropping hints about something else
  
• it was a piece of crap
  

Don't EVER EVER give someone a self-help book for Christmas, even if you think they need it. ESPECIALLY if you think they need it.

Nobody wants to get "How to feel better about yourself", "How to lose weight and keep it off", etc etc, for Christmas. It just screams "Merry Christmas! I think you're such a loser, I HAD to get you this book to help make things better!"

was a framed piece of 'artwork' (and I use the term somewhat loosely). I'm not particularly elitist by nature, and any gift given with such enthusiasm has emotional value to me.

What the hell does a 10 year old need with cologne? My cousins bought me a three flavor kit which included aftershave. I was so pissed I almost threw it at them. But I came up with a term for those kinds of gifts.-rewraps. Put them away and give them to someone else the next year.

Also Brute and the Old Spice combination cologne, aftershave (I didn't shave yet) and soap-on-a-rope gift box. My dad and brothers got the same thing. It was funny as hell seeing 5 soaps-on-ropes hanging in the shower... actually - not that I think of it - it was kinda creapy :scared:

DO NOT buy your wife a vacuum cleaner for ANY special occasion.
EVER.
I think it was our third anniversary and the vac had all these labor-saving devices and I thought I was really doing her a BIG favor and JESUS H. CHRIST was I wrong.
Took me several years to live that down (if ever?).
:spank:

It was from my then-boyfriend. I looked in the bag, and looked at him. He enthusiastically chirped (he was that type), "they're bulbs! You said you wanted flowers!" Um. There's several problems here. 1. I don't garden - grubbing in the dirt is not my idea of fun. 2. These are not flowers. These are potential flowers. In order to get them to be actual flowers, I would have to work in the garden. These are clods of dirt. 3. The presentation leaves something to be desired.

But my least favorite present was one my former mother-in-law gave me...she was hugely fond of kitschy knitted covers for things that really don't need to be covered, in vomit-inducing colors like burnt orange and lime green (together, of course). She gave me a toilet paper roll cover, knitted in vile colors, made to look like a little doll with a long skirt. Because it was a handmade gift, it had to be used whenever she was likely to be present, and it was truly one of the ugliest things I have ever seen.

For people you don't know well enough to buy decent gifts, it's probably best to simply give them a card. I'd rather have a card than useless ticky-tacky that just collects dust and eventually goes to the rubbish bin. Or buy them nice tuned wind chimes, the good ones from Stannard. I very much dislike the ritual of giving people you don't particularly like crap that you can't really afford and they will certainly never use just because the calendar says it's time to buy them some plastic crap. You only give people gifts when it's meaningful.

:D

:)

My mother-in-law gives EVERYONE self-help books for Christmas - she gave my hubby (her son) "Who moved my cheese" TWO YEARS IN A ROW!

Coulter
Limbaugh
Hanity
Savageweiner
...

Our circle of friends go out of our way to find the nastiest, most tacky stuff possible and then do a group grab-bag type exchange. Everything has to be used/recycled unless it is so perfectly awful as to be worthy of new purchase. It's hillarious what some people find and the effort they go through to find it.

Our friend Tish likes chandeliers.
No, she is batty about chandeliers.
Good for her.
She likes them so much she started making chandeliers.
Bully.
She now has a chandelier in almost every room in her house. Bedrooms, bathrooms, I think only the kitchen escaped "chandeliering".
Swell.
Last Christmas she made one for us.
Bummer.
We don't like chandeliers.
Ours is just not a chandelier house.
But Tish is a very dear and close friend and we would not hurt her feelings for anything in the world.
So...now we have a crystal chandelier over the breakfast table in the bay room and it is absolutely the dumbest looking goddam thing we have ever had in the house.
Tacky doesn't even come CLOSE to how bad it looks.
The things we do for those we love.
:-(

Well, the whole kit, actually, including the Vaginal Douche conversion attachment nozzle.

And I had so been hoping for a home High Colonic kit!

--bkl
The enema bag was hung
By the chimney with care ...