It's been a while, so... "The Clown Joke" (no Brazillions, I promise):

This father was much adored by his four year old son, Joey. They had such a special bond, and Joey thought his dad was the best dad in the world.

One day, Joey's dad took him to the circus, and they sat in the very front row of the bleachers under the Big Top. Of course, Joey sat on his father's lap, so he could be sure to see everything. Joey watched in awe as the lion tamers and the acrobats performed, and he often looked over his shoulder and smiled, to be sure his father knew what a fun time he was having.

To Joey, his father could do no wrong.

When the clowns took to the centre ring, they capered about and threw pies at each other, and later in their act, one blue-haired clown ran up to joey and his dad, and pulled a wireless microphone from the sleeve of his funny smock.

A spotlight fell on the clown, Joey, and Joey's dad, and the clown asked Joey's dad, in a funny, loud voice:

"Excuse me, sir," said the clown, with a theatrical gesture for the crowd, "but are you a horse?"

"Laughing, Joey's dad replied, "No, I'm not a horse!"

The clown continued, "Well, then, sir, are you a pony?"

"No,", Joey's dad continued to play along, "I'm not a pony!"

"Then", the clown announced at the top of his lungs, "You must be an ASS !!"

The audience erupted into laughter, as the clown summersaulted away. Even Joey, who thought his dad was the greatest man on earth, laughed at the joke!

On the way home from the circus, Joey's dad didn't talk much, and he was consumed with embarassment. He kept thinking about how the clown had made fun of him in front of the rest of the people at the circus, and especially in front of Joey.

He was seething with rage by the time they got home. Joey was fast asleep by then, and as Joey's dad carried him up to his little bed, he though to himself how he would get revenge on the clown, and retore his son's high opinion of him.

Joey's dad became a little more insular and withdrawn over time, as he was consumed with the thoughts of exacting revenge on the clown. He began to socialise with his friends less, and even his loving wife had to mention to him that she found his behaviour a little unnerving.

"I'm sorry, honey," he said, "It's just that I have so much on my mind these days".

She smiled softly and kissed him on his cheek. Even though her affection and devotion brought a slight smile to his face, he burned with rage on the inside.

Day after day, week after week, Joey's dad thought about ways to get even with the clown, until a nearly a whole year had passed. Soon the lamp-posts in the town where Joey and his dad lived were plastered with flyers announcing the return of the same circus which had performed the year before.

Joey's dad had finally worked out the details of his plan, and, smiling, announced to his wife and Joey over friday night dinner that he was going to take Joey to the circus the next night.

"Would you like to go back to the circus, Joey?", he asked his son, and his son clapped and shrieked in approval.

The big night finally arrived, and Joey's dad managed to get two seats right in the front row of the bleachers, nearly exactly where he and Joey had sat the previous year. The Big Top was packed with spectators, and Joey sat on his dad's lap and watched the lion tamers and the acrobats as they performed for the smiling crowd.

But all the while, Joey's dad barely smiled. He was enjoying himself a little, but his real source of amusement was the secret knowledge that, finally, he would have his revenge on the clown who belittled him in front of his son.


At last, the clowns took to the centre ring and cavorted, caprered and juggled to the crowd's wild applause and laughter.

And finally, the clown walked right up to Joey and his dad, just as he had the year before.

And just as a year earlier, a single spotlight fell on the clown, Joey, and Joey's dad, as a wireless microphone was withdrawn from the clown's sleeve.

"Excuse me, sir," the clown enquired, with his hand cupping his ear in a theatrical gesture for the crowd, "but are you a horse?"

"No," replied Joey's dad, smiling a deadly smile, "I'm not a horse!"

"Well, then, sir... are you a pony?"

"No, I'm not a pony!"

The clown paused a moment... and then at the top of his lungs announced to the crowd, "Then you must be an ASS!!"

Joey's dad sprung to his feet, toppling Joey to the ground, and, pointing to the clown, shouted...

"FUCK YOU, CLOWN!!!"

as a shaggy-dog story. A 20-something guy I know tells a "short version" that goes 20 minutes, involving the dad studying with shamans and gurus and the like. He said at camp as a teenager he told a version that went an hour and a half. But it always ends with "Fuck you, clown, fuck you!"

Takes quite a bit of creativity to make a joke last an hour and a half.

it was really hard to not scroll right to the bottom

!!!

KICK!

I was hoping for a better ending.

...they said they were out of you!

{ insert piss-poor Seinfeld reference here }

He spent a year plotting to do that???

:shrug:

a half hour to do so. Thank you for shortening the agony. :eyes:

:D

The joke is in the telling, not the punchline

One turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny?"

:cry: