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Man Denies Masturbation Charge Claiming He Doesn't Even HAVE A Penis

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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 05:21 PM
Original message
Man Denies Masturbation Charge Claiming He Doesn't Even HAVE A Penis
Edited on Wed Apr-12-06 05:29 PM by matcom
<snip>

Joseph "Donald" Scordato offered a rare defense when Ridgewood police charged him with masturbating in public.

"That's not possible," the 81-year-old man told police after his arrest in September. "I don't have a penis."

Scordato, of Paterson, appeared for his arraignment Monday in state Superior Court in Hackensack on one count of lewdness.

Brought into the courtroom in a wheelchair, he fell asleep while he waited for his case to be called. He said he wasn't able to hire a lawyer because he was in the hospital.

State Superior Court Judge William Meehan instructed him to get a lawyer before his next hearing on April 24.

"Can I represent myself?" Scordato asked.

"Then you will have a fool for a client," the judge replied.

Authorities say Scordato parked his car across the street from a movie theater on Cottage Place on Sept. 16, unzipped his pants and began masturbating in the middle of the afternoon.

http://www.northjersey.com/page.php?qstr=eXJpcnk3ZjcxN2Y3dnFlZUVFeXkzJmZnYmVsN2Y3dnFlZUVFeXk2OTE1NTcw
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 05:40 PM
Response to Original message
1. It seems Scordato isn't the only, um, "headless wonder" afoot...
Shouldn't the judge ask for proof?
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
2. Insert Spiro Agnew joke here
:D
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 07:15 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. LMFAO!!
:rofl:
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 07:20 PM
Response to Original message
4. "Then you will have a fool for a client..."
Judges are pretty funny.
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Twillig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 08:06 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. "Yeah, I hope he has some good dick jokes."
some "purple veined" dick jokes. Fucking judges.
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unblock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 08:15 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. this is a very old legal joke. VERY old.
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marzipanni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
5. The old geezer was just trying to wake it up....
It is not literally missing, just tired and wanting to sleep all the time.
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LiberalEsto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 07:59 PM
Response to Original message
6. Isn't he Lorena Bobbitt's second husband?
:evilgrin:
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TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
8. Low self-esteem is ONE thing...but.....hey, it still happens, right?
:toast:
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Initech Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 08:52 PM
Response to Original message
10. Insert joke about Hummer H2 owners here
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 09:12 PM
Response to Original message
11. should be easy enough to prove, though...
I don't have one either yet could masturbate in public. :shrug:
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 09:14 PM
Response to Original message
12. That excuse didn't work for me!
So screw him! It shouldn't work for him either. :grr:
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