Hypocrisy: Why Being a Republican is Easy

This is old but I still thought I'd post it. This is one of the first article I ever wrote, so don't be too harsh! :P I would post it in GD but i'm scared of that place now.

My Dad is a Repubican, and needless to say, after reading this he was pretty pissed :rofl:
I don't think he's been to my site since.

Hypocrisy: Why Being a Republican is Easy


In today’s political atmosphere Democrats are often seen as the opposition.
They are made out to be tree huggers, hippies, communists, atheists, terrorists, and
over all, the bad guys. However, Republicans are seen as god loving, patriotic, and the
good guys. So what is it about the Republicans that make them the good guys and how
do you become a Republican? Well it’s a lot simpler than you think. In reality, the
Republican Party can be summed up in one word. HYPOCRISY. So sit back, relax and
enjoy your rules of becoming a Republican. Who needs Lincoln when you have Dubya?

Below are some of the views and positions that Republicans stand for:


Pro-Life:

• A great tactic that many Republicans use is attacking their Democratic running mate
as being an ungodly, pro-abortion baby killer- while you are a pro-life man of god.

• Being pro-life doesn’t mean you have to be pro-“life”- it’s more like being a cheerleader for
fetuses.

• Being pro-life doesn’t mean you can’t take your mistress to get an abortion, it just means
you can’t let anyone find out about it.

• Make sure you use the term “pro-life” as often as possible. It just sounds better than
“anti-abortion” or “anti-women’s rights.”


Anti-Gay Rights:

• Make sure when discussing gay rights you bring up that the bible says that
being gay is wrong. It doesn’t matter if you know the section of the bible says this because
if you act like you read it, people think you read it.

• When talking about gay rights make sure that you point out that giving the "homos"
rights is an attack on families. Don’t bother to explain why, just as long as you make sure
you talk about how every child needs a mother and a father. This may not be the actual topic
of conversation, but it is an old trick in the book that fools anyone.

• Make sure that you talk about how if we allow gays to marry we might also have to
allow polygamy, and various other types of marriage.


Support Our Troops:

• When we say “Support Our Troops” we don’t actually mean that you have to support
the troops. We mean that you should support the war that they are in. If they die it’s their own
fault, because they signed up for it.

• Yellow ribbons are a MUST! Make sure you have a yellow magnetic ribbon on all of
your cars, right next to your old “Bush-Cheney ‘04” sticker.

• Whenever some liberal begins to talk about how we need to bring our troops home,
just talk about how we have to stay over there to finish the job they started. Make sure you throw
in that this is the way to honor the troops.

• If the mother of a soldier who died wants to meet with you- meet with her, but only if she
supports the war. You don’t have time to meet with the mothers who are against the war, because
you have a life to live: but you do have time to talk about how anti-war moms “weaken” America. Also
have your aides dig up any dirt they can.


The War on Terrorism:

• Make sure that you call the War in Iraq the “War on Terrorism” or “Operation Iraqi
Freedom.” By doing this you make what we are doing over there seem noble. Also, talk about how
terrorists “hate us for our freedoms.”

• When someone brings up that no WMD’s were found, just say that they are there somewhere
and just hidden. Talk about how Saddam hid them all, and it’s just a matter of time before they are found.

• Talk about how evil Saddam was and how we are liberating Iraqis. Make sure that you don’t
mention how more Iraqis are dying of violent deaths now, than they were before we took Saddam out of
power. Mention that the Iraqis are happy now and they are free.

• Make sure you mention how terrorists are in their “last throes”, and how it’s only a matter of
time before they give up.


Tax Cuts:

• When discussing tax cuts don’t bother to mention how they only cut the taxes for the
upper class: and put more pressure on the lower and middle classes. If you don’t mention it, people
won’t know about it.

• Make sure to bring up the fact that Democrats want to raise taxes. Remember to fail to
mention that they want to raise it for the upper class. If you don’t mention this, people assume that
everyone gets a tax raise, and you’ve successfully fooled everyone.


Stem Cell Research:

• This issue ties in with being pro-life. Make sure to use one word over and over.
Fetus, Fetus, Fetus.

• Remember not to mention how stem cell research could save lives, but how it destroysthem. For
more, see “Pro-Life.”


Christianity:

• Make sure that religion is one of your big issues and associate yourself with the Religious Right.
Try to get ties with some of the big Christian Organization Leaders. Most of them will sell out, it just a matter
of how much you’re willing to pay.

• Play off of people’s beliefs and the church. Make sure that you talk about how Christians are
conservatives. If people talk about how Jesus taught love, just make sure to talk about how the bible is against
"homos" and abortion and how Liberals support both. If you do this the right way, you can successfully change
the topic without anyone knowing.


If you stick to the issues stated above, you can keep the discussion in your control and successfully
manipulate people to support and agree with you. If you have done this then you have successfully become a
Republican. Congratulations and good job. Remember… Hypocrisy = Democracy.

Post it in GD then. Don't be afraid of GD, it's a good place for serious posts. Please post it there. :thumbsup:

it's a bit old, but i still like it.

i added it to GD. :yoiks:

You should post it in GD. :hi:

i know i'm not a great writer or anything, but i was actually proud of this article. my mom and stepdad both seemed the like it. :P ;)

but it hasn't gotten any responses :shrug:

oh well. at least i'm not getting flamed :P

It's a good post, worthy to be in GD. No worries. :hi:

...dill-wad that sits next to me at work. He loves making up excuses for his republican leaders bad behavior and for his own by pointing to the bad behavior of others and justifying it with that type of argument.

I'd love to see this guy in front of a judge one day arguing over getting a speeding ticket by saying: "There were other cars speeding too"

:thumbsup: As I said, GD is a good place for serious posts. Good job!

:D

I just wanted to encourage you to post in GD again. It's a great place with great minds; sometimes really challenging. It won't tolerate jokes, however, but you know this already. ;)

10 recommendations so far. W00t!