Fighting with one of your closest friends = really awful.

Damnit. I have a great friend who picked an odd fight with me over something incredibly petty. But he is acting unusually angry. I think that he's really upset about something else entirely, but I can't get it out of him. He is the most passive-aggressive person I've ever known. I'm willing to apologize if I offended him, but I will not tolerate his bizarre and rude behavior, particularly over something so petty. What the hell do I do?

But if you don't make it clear that you won't put up with passive agressive bullshit, well, you'll be stuck putting up with it. That may make for a bigger fight now but save you a lot of heartache in the long run, but a lot of people can't or won't see thier passive agressiveness, in which case it's best to remove those people from our lives, because the do great harm.

That's why I didn't put up with it too long today. That then gave him permission to unleash the real anger. I just don't get it.

I can't talk to him tonight because he is out to dinner with his wife - my best friend - and I don't want to spoil that, so I just let it be. However, I did send him a note via email for him to get tomorrow morning. I said that I would really like to talk in person and clear the air because I feel there is more to it than just the petty situation.

Thanks for letting me rant. I just feel sick to my stomach. Like most people, I've had some really good friends lost over the years, and it always sucks to lose someone you are really close to. But, sometimes it is for the best.

I never have had these problems with my friends that are boys - it usually happens my friends that are girls.

I think my advice would be the same- invite him to join you for coffee (assuming you're an adult) and talk it out. Let him know that you felt he was being passive aggressive and you'd like to talk about it.

:hug:

I did drop him a note saying I wanted to meet in person and clear the air.

I'm just frustrated. I cannot stand the conflict.

I absolutely hate fighting, too, and wind up either nervous, furious, or fearful until things are resolved.

It sounds as though you've tried to discuss things with him. :hug: I guess the only thing I can say is that you can only speak for yourself, not read his mind, and you need his help in checking out what's wrong. Perhaps all you is describe your feelings to him, but not evaluate/judge his behavior, and tell him you can't resolve the issue without his help.

Best of luck!

I just feel sick to my stomach. Couldn't even eat dinner.

that's what i usually do

on reading the other posts, i am just shaking my head, has talking things out w. a passive aggressive person ever ONCE in the history of the earth ever done anything but make both of you feel even worse

forgive and forget and if you can't do that, maybe the friend just isn't that important, maybe the ego of being "heard" and talking it out is more important