Female DU: When you were 13-16, did the idea of a physical relationship

dsigust you? I'm just curious, but it seems to bother alot of the women in my class. Talk about sex and physical relationships seems to illicit "Ew! My god, you are such an old man you pervert!". Also, a friend of mine said his girlfriend said she would break up with him if he ever gave her a hicky. So, what say you?

and women and men should not be viewed as possessions

when I was a teen. A chain of 'em around the neck.

Back then, I gave and got my share (I guess) of hickies. But that "choker" thing was just... wrong. :eyes:

Perhaps I didn't express it well.

It was that hickies are a teen thing — or used to be, anyway. They're hideous, and they serve about the same purpose as a "Property of Hell's Angels, Frisco" tattoo on one's arse.

when I was working on the Kerry campaign, there was a man in his mid-twenties whose girlfriend gave him a great many hickeys...this was his fiance...it made him look very unprofessional.


I have known a number of adults who have had them...perhaps they haven't progressed past their teen years...but it still happens.

"Teen" in this context being a state of mind.

:puke:

Michael Krasny uses it and I picked it up from him. Makes me feel all elete-liberal! :-) Now that the well's been poisoned by O'Lielly, though...

Everyone can see them and even if you were still "a good girl" to have one of those was a badge or a sign that maybe you did it.

By the time I was 16, I knew I was almost ready, and when I was 17, I was definitely ready. (In fact, that's when I began my first one.) I've never been squeamish or prudish about sex, and I've had my share of hickies.

I think what you may be encountering is neocon/fundie backlash, given the current cultural climate. A lot of younger people consider themselves to be conservative and very religious, more so than when I was growing up. Also, more teenagers are having sex earlier, but most are not educated about it and have all kinds of misinformation given to them. It's sad but true. :(

By 16, well, I kind of enjoyed it. :blush:

At 13 and 14, the idea seemed exciting but scary to me. At 15 it no longer seemed scary but inticing and by 16 it was no longer just an idea.

Hicky's are a different thing though. I never did understand them or like them.

We found some pornography videos in the house while alone and watched it with a few other female friends close to the same age. All of us found it disgusting and many of them talked about how disgusting sex was until they were around 15-16.

Quite the opposite, in fact. Must be the crap they're putting in the water nowadays. Fluoride my ass!

Seriously, though, I think that's awful. Sex is supposed to be, you know, healthy ... natural. Your post reminds me of that awful paragraph from 1984

The aim of the Party was not merely to prevent men and women from forming loyalties which it might not be able to control. Its real, undeclared purpose was to remove all pleasure from the sexual act. Not love so much as eroticism was the enemy, inside marriage as well as outside it. All marriages between Party members had to be approved by a committee appointed for the purpose, and -- though the principle was never clearly stated -- permission was always refused if the couple concerned gave the impression of being physically attracted to one another. The only recognized purpose of marriage was to beget children for the service of the Party. Sexual intercourse was to be looked on as a slightly disgusting minor operation, like having an enema. This again was never put into plain words, but in an indirect way it was rubbed into every Party member from childhood onwards. There were even organizations such as the Junior Anti-Sex League, which advocated complete celibacy for both sexes. All children were to be begotten by artificial insemination (artsem, it was called in Newspeak) and brought up in public institutions. This, Winston was aware, was not meant altogether seriously, but somehow it fitted in with the general ideology of the Party. The Party was trying to kill the sex instinct, or, if it could not be killed, then to distort it and dirty it. He did not know why this was so, but it seemed natural that it should be so. And as far as the women were concerned, the Party's efforts were largely successful.

Yes, a little ... advanced for teenagers, but still true and applicable, I think, here.

if you start talking about sex (it's pretty fun to do if your bored). And one of them always talks about how disgusting sex is, and it's such a waste of your life :eyes: lol

I'm sorry, but I am clearly out of touch. These are American teenage females we're talking about here? Man, start hanging out with the Catholic girls - we never said shit like that!

ps - Yes, 1984 was intended to be depressing. Orwell said that it was because he was dying when he wrote it. (Have I brought you down enough yet?)

I'm changing my nickname here to "Old and in the Way"! When I was in all-girl catholic high school (hello! Only the mid-80's here!), it wasn't like we were all trying to get laid, but we certainly didn't go into "oh, that's simply too disgusting for words" category. What a world, what a world...

We had a teacher in our local public high school (I graduated HS in 1985) that used to joke that if we (as guys) really wanted to get laid, we should just cruise by Mercy High School (the local all girls Catholic HS) and we'd have no problem.

Our teacher was a very liberal middle-aged, hippie dude. We were all 15-17 and it was the late 80's. It might still fly in the Northeast or West coast, but I can't imagine it being "allowed" in some places in the US, especially with the nudity in the movie.

After all, context and theme doesn't matter in terms of nudity and human sexuality. :eyes:

at that age there can be a disconnect between what a person is starting to feel and what one thinks is an acceptable attitude to present in public.

If I'd realized I was a lesbian, it might have been different.

just wondering why these girls seem creeped out.
god knows, at that age you can't even discuss it with the boys your doing stuff with. you just do it.
and hickey are stupid, and that's got nothing to do with being a prude.

an old man.

Out of all my friends the only ones that had issues with the idea were the evangelist ones. The rest of us were either active or jealous of those who were.

to how they felt at 13-16, or are you talking about 13-16 year-old girls? And if they are in your class, why are they calling you an "old man?" Are you older than they are?

and no, I'm their age. 'Old Man' has become a term for a sick pervert :shrug:

the idea your interest is a bit more than academic.
and if you're actually a 13 yr old boy then that sounds about right.
sounds like you're trolling to see who's easy and they know it.

and masturbation. One girl said something like "Masturbation is nasty!" I shook my head and laughed. They said, "What, you don't? I don't want to know where your hands have been," I laughed and then said "Hell, what can I say?" And they'd just start freaking out. "Ugh, he is soooo nasty!"

Our Health class is hilarious though. The teacher says "Clitoris" and all of the girls start hyperventilating

i remember confiding lots in a friend who was a boy at a pretty young age, but it wasn't joking and it wasn't mixed company either. it was a good friend i trusted.
that's far different from what you describe. from what i remember at the age, most boys were pretty immature and going for shock value, seeing what buttons they could push, trying to embarrass the girls. there weren't all that many attempts at real discourse.
sound familiar?

But I'm curious what you mean about "real discourse". About sex? Do you mean discussing your thoughts about premarital sex, birth control, etc etc? Because that also happens, but rarely face to face. Usually just of the internet.

and why. and if you are, how it feels, how you feel about it. that sort of stuff.
well on the internet anybody can fake anything, can't they? i'd say on real life though guys boast a bit, and girls play down stuff a little.
from what my niece has told me, it's the same old same old. her classmates seem to be all over the map, just like mine were.

nor a boy your age referred to as an old man. :shrug: Oh well.

As for your question... yeah... when I was that age, it repulsed me. But then, I also didn't know I was gay, so... :shrug:

But hickeys ARE disgusting.

Unsure, full of trepidation. At least at the lower end of that age spread. Seemed like a big step (one of the few intelligent thoughts I had at the time). Hickeys always grossed me out and I did threaten to break up with the one boy who gave me a huge one. :puke: What is the point of that? To mark someone? Gross.

By the time I was 15 or 16, it had changed more to curiosity. A lot of my friends had some hot n' heavy stuff going on and it seemed pretty intriguing. But I still didn't like hickeys.

have always repulsed me.

on the 16 side. :D

if so they probably don't like to talk about sex or joke about it with same age guys, I'm guessing.

at age 13-14, I had little or no interest, I don't think I was really that interested until about 15-16. Most of the guys we hung out with made bad sex puns and that was pretty much it. Back then, most of us wanted to avoid sex itself, mostly people "necked", period.

Hickeys were and are, gross. I never understood why people did that. :shrug: Or it seemed like only foolish and naive girls who were trying to look "experienced", had them.

That single thought took up 60% of my brain in those years, so no, being physical was NOT icky at all.

In fact, I was kind of obsessed. At 13 I was reading Nancy Friday and Shere Hite and stuff (this was the early 80s). By late-15, early-16, I was doing it.

Never much cared for hickeys, though.

What disgust me are my only current "options."

Pathetic, shallow beings. :grr:

but i don't have to worry about that :rofl:

:P

maybe it wouldn't have. But they were. Like a lot of little boys at that sad, sorry, pathetic stage of their non-development are. "Put out, or you're frigid," "Service me, or you're a psychologically damaged bitch and I'll be sure to tell everyone that," "Fuck me, or I'll not only leave you and spread lies about your 'abilities,' I'll harass you for the rest of the time we're in the same school/district." 'Cause, you know, pressuring, bullying, asshole behavior--that really makes sexual activity appealing. This continues to be the attitude of the members of America's disgusting little male mini-Patriarchy in our secondary schools today, from what I've seen. It's not sex that turns off young women, it's the grotesque, cruel behavior of the choice offerings that are their potential dating partners. And it's really not the young women manipulating and/or threatening to break up with the boys over the parameters of their physical "relationships," trust me on this. Plus, don't even get me started on what happens to a woman in the eyes of this hypocritical society who actually DOES enjoy and engage in sex with a rare, non-assholish 13-to-16 year old male? This would require re-aquainting or introducing most of the board to these miniscule concepts like "sexist double standard" and "anti-feminism," and...I don't have time for that shit, today. Go to Borders and start reading about these ideas if your mommies, daddies, and various alleged educational experiences didn't make you familiar with them. Jesus H. Christ. I am never having kids of my own if this is the kind of world they have to "look forward to."

They grow up fast now and are exposed to lots more "sex" than I ever was.

Wasn't disgusted by it at all.

I was always pro sex, but I didn't really have much of an acceptable dating pool. And if just talking to you about sex gets that reaction, maybe you're talking about sex in a disgusting manner. I doubt that the girls in your class object to physical activity per se, but rather the idea of being viewed as objects.