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What do you think about a guy who doesn't seem to like his mother?

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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 02:53 PM
Original message
What do you think about a guy who doesn't seem to like his mother?
I was on a date lately -- a first date -- and the guy kept bringing his mother up, and citing annoying things that she did. Then immediately disclaiming these things with, "I love her, but...." I mean, this wasn't a passing reference, either-- his mom came up several times in the context of other things. This sort of made me go.... hm...

Thoughts?
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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
1. Why would he bring up his mother on a date?
That is wierd enough by itself.

There really are awful mothers in this world, however. Think of Livia Soprano.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 02:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. My thoughts too
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #1
9. That's exactly what I thought.
I mean, other than as a passing reference.
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 02:58 PM
Response to Original message
3. A guy should not talk continuously about his mother on the first date.
Either positive or negative its a real bad sign.

I'm a man, and my wife knows all about my mother (and my stepmother) good and bad, but I can tell you that early in the relationship, the conversation was about my (then future) wife.
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 02:58 PM
Response to Original message
4. dupe delete.
Edited on Sun May-14-06 02:58 PM by NNadir
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Sparkly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
5. This may be a generalization, but in my experience...
... I've found a correlation between guys' relationships with their mothers -- and even more so with their fathers -- and how kind they were or weren't to me, and others...

Personally, if I heard a guy dissing his mother frequently on a first date, I'd run.

Just my opinion!!
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jmm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. Please tell me there will not be a second date.
I could understand a man not liking his mother if he came from an abusive and/or extremely dysfunctional family but the men who have the most reasons to talk badly about their moms always seem to be the last to bring them up in casual conversation.

This guy reminds me of a security guard at my job who talks poorly of all women and often says about his mother, "I love her but she's a woman..."
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I'm thinking I won't go out with him again.
:thumbsup: Thanks for the input. :D
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electron_blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
7. With few exceptions I've found that a man's relationship with his mother
will mimic that of his wife down the road.

If that were me, I'd let that be the last date I had with that man. I don't mean to say that if a man has a horrible mom then he's doomed, but the fact that he's bringing it up on your *first* date and harping on her, geesh, you're only going to hear a lot more negative about the mom.
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:07 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. I had that generalization in mind,
and I was wondering if it's true. So it is, in your experience, eh? Good to know!
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undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:03 PM
Response to Original message
8. I was engaged to someone who was in love with his mother.
After he took a week long vacation with me, he took a three and a half week vacation with her. That was all it took for me to break it off, since I didn't want to spend my life with "the other woman". Some families are really screwed up- abusive alcholic father was the background to this story- and its not going to be a good experience.
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:07 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. Ok, that's effed up.
:scared:
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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:08 PM
Response to Original message
13. Bad news
both that he doesn't get along with her and that he kept feeling the need to talk about her.

Very odd. I'd consider that to be a red flag.
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Bossy Monkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
14. Run.
Edited on Sun May-14-06 03:16 PM by undisclosedlocation
Not because he doesn't like his mother; she might be one of those people that's just unlikeable. However, that an adult man would bring up his mom repeatedly on a first date-- just run.
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 04:40 PM
Response to Reply #14
18. And be extra careful when having a shower
:o
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:17 PM
Response to Original message
15. it was actually a litmus test (unknown to me) when Mrs. McLaregehuge
and I were dating. On our first date she asked about my parents, then specifically about my mother. My answers are part of what led to a second date.
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Mutley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 03:20 PM
Response to Original message
16. There are many reasons why one might not get along with parents
but to bring it up, and several times, on a date seems... uh, strange.
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liontamer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
17. I wouldn't care of someone didn't like his/her mother
not all mothers are as wonderful as hallmark pretends they are. However, why is he bringing her up so much? That's the reason you shouldn't date him.
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dorkulon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
19. Maybe his mom's a total bitch.
Still, doesn't bode well for a prospective relationship...
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-14-06 05:07 PM
Response to Original message
20. Even if his mom is the spawn of satan, I wouldn't say that on the 1st date
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