Life's a bitch and then you die!

Fresh out of college, carrying a Ph.D.
I thought with all that knowledge
The world couldn't wait for me
But then my eyes was opened
Just as wide as they could be
Now I'm busy coping with this harsh reality

Took some time to learn what the world already knew
And now I wake up everyday with the proper attitude

Life's a bitch and then you die
You don't know when and you don't know why
You love a little and you say goodbye
Fate comes in and throws the switch
Life's a bitch and then you die

I went to see the preacher, such a righteous man
A healer and a teacher, I was sure he would understand
Well he prayed and meditated while I told him about my life
I told him how I hated all this daily stress and strife
He took off his collar, he looked me in the eye
He closed the good book lying there and much to my surprise

He said life's a bitch and then you die
You don't know when and you don't know why
You love a little and you say goodbye
Fate comes in and throws the switch
Life's a bitch and then you die

I went to see the doctor, finally, to cure me of my ills
He reached into his locker and he handed me a bunch of pills
He said, "Boy, by your description, I can tell you're near the end
So take this here prescription, you'll be on your feet again
Follow these directions and in a week give me a call
And if these ain't effective, boy, well you might as well take 'em all"

Because life's a bitch and then you die
You don't know when and you don't know why
You love a little and you say goodbye
Fate comes in and throws the switch
Life's a bitch and then you die
Life's a bitch and then you die

Now I remember!

PhDs usually make a ton of money. I should have gotten mine.

I was having lunch with Bill Dugger and he said something to that effect that life sucks (after I had complained about my life). I wanted to quote Bender and say '"don't you ever compare yourself to me!" I said "my" life sucks and you wanna say yours does too? I spent last night on the streets of Portland after a nearly sleepless twenty hour train ride. I am worried about graduating and finding a job and probably will work crappy jobs for very little money even if I do graduate. I have two papers to right, two presentations to make, a four hour written exam and an oral exam to get through in the next two weeks, and you wanna say that it sucks for you, a tenured published author, like it sucks for me?????'