Parenting question re: Prom

Tomorrow night we are hosting an all night co-ed after prom party. So far not a single parent has called to check on if this is legit and if my wife and I are going to be home.

Question 1: Are we insane?
Question 2: Would you let your teen go to an all night party with their date with out checking with the hosts?

1. No!
2. I can't even make a crass joke out of that one and lemme tell you I've tried. If I was the father of a teen, I'd definitely check up on the situation beforehand! You don't want a bunch of slackers doing nothing while all the kids screw around, literally. Or, worse, the slackers screwing around somewhere else - figuratively or otherwise.

Here's the problem. Teenagers are adept at sneaking trouble. These kids will have you outnumbered, so it'll be no big deal for them to sneak off in pairs, sneak some liquor, smoke a little, etc. And if they do, you're both legally and financially responsible since this party is on your property, not to mention that you'll hear all about it from thier parents.


So while it's wierd that none of the other parents have confirmed that you'll be there, I think it's nuts to be offering to host a coed overnight party for even the best behaved kids.

at our house.

No other parent checked in. We behaved.

Just held the pre prom at our house and our friends did the apre prom. No question if the kids would be safe. I trust the kids and I trust you.

That's debatable -- but then, I'm nuts, so...

:hi:

The second question...saddest part of all is...it doesn't surprise me at all. It seems like no one confirms invitations or RSVPs or cancels if they're not gonna show so why would they check on parental supervision? I hate to say it, but I'm betting the majority of them are relieved that it's you and not them. If they even know what the kids' plans are.

"I'm taking Becky to the prom."

"That's nice, dear. Have fun."

"See you in the morning."

"Will you be back before breakfast?"

"I don't know."

"Well, call if you think you're going to be late."

Okay...so maybe that's exaggerated, but....

Seriously, I have heard the term, but I don't remember it ever being used up here. The nearest I can come to, is it's a sort of graduation ceremony. Which I had. When I graduated from high school. Otherwise, nothing. Do Americans have this sort of thing for everything?

Generally given by the junior class for the graduating seniors. A big deal, tuxedos and formals and limos and pre-prom festivities, and after-parties and watching the sun rise...

really fancy dance, all the girls wear expensive dresses, guys rent tuxes, some people drive limos. Kind of considered one last high school dance before you graduate.

We do have dances through the year, but they are more of a "fun sock-hop" kinda thing. The big production is our Grade 12 graduation. First, we get our diplomas, then the next weekend, there is a dinner/dance (only for those graduating w/dates or w/o dates - your choice). My graduation dance was at the Fort Garry Hotel ballroom... the classiest place in town. That's it. You graduate. You get a dinner/dance.

Just about any excuse will do...but the prom is the....culmination. Sounds kind of like what you have, only prom is before graduation and juniors are welcome, too.

Like homecoming but in the spring and only for juniors and seniors.

Americans don't do it for everything, but High School seniors get a prom. It's a major money maker. The parents have to shell out for a dress, tux, limousine, pictures, booze, condoms...

The kids first go out to dinner all decked out at some local chain restaurant like Macaroni Grill. Then they put in an appearance at the dance. But where they are really anxious to go is to a hotel room for an all night party - bill paid by parents. Then, after graduation, they go to Mexico or Hawaii with a big group.

I'm daughter is 13. I'm not looking forward to any of this!

but A2? well, my parents already knew my date, and trusted me. I told them where it was, and i may or may not be home before morning (but that i wouldnt drive tired) and that was that. It really depends on the family, and on the track record of the kids.

That's really sad that no parents are following up. I work in social services, and I was cursed out by a 14-year-old this week because I agreed that her mother should chaperone the prom (and stay in the shadows). The kid went ballistic.

She insisted that no other parents did this, and she would be embarrased. Sadly, this is true.

It's possible that some of your invited guests will not show up, but will be on the streets while their parents assume they're at your house. Then you'll take the heat when something happens.

Careful!

I guess question #1 remains to be seen! A lot depends on the kids and how they behave. You should definitely set up some ground rules. I think it's mighty nice of you to do it, though. How many kids are involved?

As far as # 2, I'm just shaking my head in disbelief. How can people be so cavalier?

If it's a party of really close friends of your child and they've been friends along time and this group doesn't normally get in trouble, then I can see that the parents...if they know your child and trust her...then are probably assuming it's all legit.

My daughter had a really close group of friends like that and I pretty much trusted them because my daughter did...does that make sense???

So I wouldn't necessarily think it reflects badly on the other kid's parents but take it as a compliment to your child.

Have fun...

:evilgrin:

A phone call would be de riguer, IMO.

coming to the party and make sure they all know where the party is, your phone #, and give your assurance that you will be home throughtout.

It amazes me that people wouldn't want to know exactly where their kids are and who they're with on prom night. Still, seems that you need to take the initiative on this one.

Also, it's a reverse RSVP. Helps with food prep, etc.

And maybe you could ask a few if they might want to come on over and give a hand.

My daughter just turned 29, so it's been 11 years since I had to deal with anything like this, but the way things are today, you can bet I'd want to call and make sure the parents were going to be home.

Part one is a good way to keep an eye on the kids and make sure they aren't doing anything they aren't supposed to be doing. This is perfectly sane and smart.

As for the second question there is no way my teen would be going to an all-nighter without my wife and I checking it out. Hell, we'd probably go to the party too if the parents were cool enough.

These kids aren't 14, right? Only juniors and seniors get to go to proms. That makes these "kids" 17-18 years old! The seniors are probably all legal adults, and the juniors should be old enough to be trusted by their parents. If you can't trust your kids choices by 17, you never will!

True, they will try to pair up and do what they shouldn't, but if they make that choice, they would have done it anywhere else. (Yes, you are responsible) So that is why I wouldn't do it myself unless I really knew these kids/families well.

#2 has two answers. My parents would have (and did) because they knew all of my friends' parents really well (small town).

For my daughter - probably not, unless I knew her friend's parents really well. I might also ask if they wanted any help with crowd control or food or anything like that. It's a lot to do to have a house full of teenagers!

Have fun!

:hi:

I'd love to hear how it all turns out.

I admire you for having the courage to do this...

:applause: