Well, I'll bet none of you have ever done THIS:

I just beat the snot out of a raccoon. With a crutch. (No, I wasn't picking on a disabled raccoon; I was the one with the crutch.)

He was trying to get into the screen porch where my son's pet chicken sleeps at night, and apparently thought that the crutches meant he could jump ugly with me and get away with it. He knows better now.

That certainly was a first in my experience, and I'll bet in his, too.

Sigh...never a dull moment around here, though I could use a few dull moments now and again, just as a change of pace.

Redstone

:shrug:


That's cool that your son has a pet chicken.
My man and I did for like eight months but it got to big, messy and dirty to live in a condo with not much yard.



:hi:

The chicken's 100% pet now, since she stopped laying eggs about six months ago. (She's an OLD chicken, 7+ years old if you can believe that...probably made it to this age because she's got The Life, at least in chicken terms, and is one happy bird.)

Redstone

I loved our chicken. It has just started to lay eggs when we had to give her up.
But we took her to a farm in Wolcott and I hope she's living a good life. :hi:


Sorry about your knee and hip. :hug:

crazy. I'm not. Though Mrs R has been hearing me babble some stuff in my sleep that I wish I hadn't babbled...

Redstone

:shrug:

What can the doctors do about it?

What to do is replacements, which I've known for thirty years (yes, that long) I'd have to have some day (that knee already has a Teflon kneecap).

Was hoping for three or four more years, but maybe not. We'll see.

Meanwhile, I still gotta get up and go to work each morning. When you give up and stop doing that, you're doomed.

and I may even be working in your town soon; see this thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x5174549

If we buy that company, we're going to move it to your city, because the place is screaming for manufacturing companies to locate there, among other reasons.

Redstone

Raccoons are vicious little bastards. I hate them.

son of a bitch without the slightest twinge of conscience.

(Sorry if that bothers any animal lovers, but my kid's pet is more important to me than a raccoon.)

Redstone

Can you hear me now? No? Good.

Nextel, done.

I hear ya. See below

Well there was this one time last year when my roommate's dogs were going fucking nuts early one morning, and I went downstairs to shut them up. And told them to shut up, then let the cat out. Then saw the Coyote running out the bushes towards the cat, I opened the door the rest of the way and sprinted past my cat and chased the Coyote away through a couple neighbor's yards in nothing but my boxers. It's amazing how adrenaline make you impervious to pain. I ran right through several walls of brush, cut my feet, legs, chest, arms, face up pretty good on the stuff in the ground and the branches. Didn't feel a damn thing till about half an hour later, after the dizziness and hot flashes went away.

that coyote came back and burned down your room one night.

He was probably howling that story to his pals for days: "And then one of those bald-skinned two-leggers came charging out of his Big Box, flailing away with his top legs and bottom legs, right through the bushes..."

Redstone

Never had a coyote problem after that. But you know, in the frame of mind I was in I was hoping he'd turn around and charge me so I could stick a pair of fingers through his eyesocket after punching through his throat.

They're smart critters.

Redstone

and for good reason, followed me. So after I chased this coyote away, I had to get him to come to me instead of running off, in someone's backyard, nekkid but for my boxers, and carry him back. x(

But I'd do it again. Once or twice, then I'd stop letting him out.

Marines aside. I mean, you don't fuck with DS1.

Or you'd have had some real trouble on your hands in the form of a trampoline, anvil, rocket, or giant slingshot.

All orders to WEC, W.E.C, Wile E.C. Wile EC, W.E. Coyote, W. E. C., etc are banned

That had to cost you to stop his account.

Leopold.

I always thought that looked like fun.

Redstone

The rollerskate rocket pack was always underpriced in order to get the Roadrunner to buy it. What you really need is the rocket-snowboard kit. With the rocket powered snowboard kit, you can lean forward and actually go forward, instead of circling into a wheel of death. The snowboard stops you from spinning around in place, much like a firework nailed to a tree.

long for delivery?

redstone

We have raccoons here that like to feast on the cat food left out for the strays. They live in harmony, so to speak (thankfully, or I might find myself in those same shoes...er, crutches).

Glad you didn't get bitten. They CAN be nasty.

The ones here are really cantakerous; I've seen them go after each other more than once. And they're ALWAYS bitching at each other vocally in the woods behind the house.

Redstone

I take competition out of the equation. No sense in it.

across the street, but they'll STILL fight each other over a bit of spilled chicken chow in the back yard.

Redstone

from the neighborhood chickens (hens).

Nothing more akin to comedy than seeing a cat get chased by a Rhode Island red...

respect for her. (She's bigger than the cat, too.)

Redstone

she, yes she, has QUITE the spur on her right leg. I know...not really supposed to, but she does.

She's very, very pretty though. I should take a pic of her.

Redstone

at a professor's house. He lived fairly close to one of the local lakes. The place was just packed, so a lot of people were going in and out to cool off. Well, somehow a racoon got it and all hell broke loose. Someone ended up getting bitten--and it wasn't the raccoon.

The other raccoon tale involved a New Year's Eve dinner. It had snowed and everything was still cold outdoors, so the my friend's sister decided "Great! No need to worry about keeping this stuff cold in the reefer."
Heh! Heh! Heh! She went out to bring in one of her pots of goodies and discovered wee footprints leading all over the back porch, a lid off each pot, and decidedly less food in each.

damn raccoons have pulled the head off more pets and chickens over the years of people i know and even my own (despite what i thought were angola prison strong precautions) than i can shake a stick at

it's war on the raccoons

war i tell you!

raccoons are like bears -- terrific in a photo taken at a distance

a long, LONG distance

think until they learn the truth.

I like animals as much as the next guy, and know that they need to eat, but those fucking coons are a plague. They'll go through a chicken house and rip the birds apart just for the fun of it, just like a fisher will.

Redstone

but I gave one several good whacks with a broomstick once when it was after our newborn kittens.

After it tried to bite me I had my husband just get the gun.

no more racoon.