Top Ten Signs Your Starship Captain is a Drunkard

10. When Spock mind probes him, Spock gets hammered.

9. Wakes up next to a Klingon chick at least once a week.

8. Starts the ship’s self-destruct sequence just to screw with the yeoman who blew him off in the officer’s lounge.

7. Each time you discover a new planet he tells Spock to scan the surface for cheap scotch and loose females.

6. The first thing he says when negotiating with Romulans is, “So, what’s the ale situation?”

5. McCoy tells him, “I’m a doctor, Jim, not a bartender!”

4. He keeps slipping down to the engineering room to “discuss ancient Scottish traditions” with Scotty.

3. Giggles every time Spock says they should launch a “deep space probe.”

2. Whenever a female yeoman brings him a clipboard he tries to open a tab.

1. Is willing to make beer runs into the neutral zone.

:rofl:

:kick:

:rofl:

Every Sunday he wakes up with a mouthful of tribble fur.

Keeps wrecking the shuttle craft.

Uses the dilithium crystals to burn ants.

Sways back and forth on the bridge even when the ship is not under attack.

Keeps picking fights with, and getting ass kicked by, Sulu.

Looses shirt even more often than usual.

Razor burn on chest.

Won't stop fuckin' with the transporter.

Keeps barfing in the food generators.

"Helm, warp factor 83!"

Not to mention me and the Holo-deck.

on the Holodeck and say to him, "Y'know, I wanna see'er too. She wassa great ship, wun'she? You goddit, Mr. Scoddy — no fuckin' A, B, C or D. But ch'know what, Scoddy? Scoddy? Lookit me, Mr. Scoddy. You're really anasshole, y'know that, Scoddy?"

empty beer cans.

:shrug:
My husband read them and was like Beh, and he's a hardcore trekker from way back.
Duckie