I'm depressed. In a rut. What should I do?

Other than end the pity-party, get off the internet, and start doing a serious overhaul of my finances and the state of my house...?

As some of you know, I had a really shitty year. It could have been worse, yes. No one close to me died, I didn't get a terminal illness (though I was diagnosed with a disease that requires regular blood tests and lifelong daily meds), I wasn't sent to Iraq to fight for Dick Cheney.

But I did have to leave a country I loved, a job that was bearable and improving and paid well, people I loved, my pets, my house, my car, my partner; I came back here and had to live with my parents for the first time in over ten years, in the last place on earth I'd ever want to live (my hometown in East Texas); I finally managed to get to Austin. I've been here six weeks now and haven't gotten a job. I got offered two two weeks ago: one with a not-quite-doable salary and no benefits, and one with a pretty good salary and the possibility of benefits, which I took, only to quit after the first day because, as it turned out, they wanted me to work 12 hour days with little or no lunch break.

I have a masters degree; I am more intelligent than most people (I am not trying to sound like an asshole, it's just true), good with words and creativity, energetic, a pretty happy person, generally. I think I have a lot to contribute. I've decided that I want to go into a certain field, in which I know I can do well and get a reasonably fulfilling job (certainly better than the soul-destroying alternatives), and I am taking summer distance classes toward another MA to enable me to do just that. Today I got a call from a great organization, where they apparently want to offer me a part-time, 20-hour a week, no benefits position while I do the academic side. If I take it, I will be in a great position to get a fully professional job in about 9-12 months.

But taking it means having to also work afternoons/evenings to make ends meet, which may or may not even work, depending on whether I get lots of tips. Because I've been living partly off a credit card (low interest, luckily) for the past month, plus I put my tuition on it, I am now looking at monthly payments of up to $200 there, nevermind my existing student loans, car payment and the ridiculously overpriced "necessities" (cell phone - no land line, and internet - which is necessary for my distance MA). I don't see where I can cut back, except on going out, which is fine, but, I'm afraid, won't make up the difference.

I can't seem to find an "office" job to tide me over and pay the bills while I am doing this MA. I went to an interview for one that seemed ideal yesterday, and it only lasted 15 minutes, and they offered it to someone else (a receptionist job! I have a masters degree!!!). I have another interview tomorrow, but I am pretty sure I am UNDER qualified for it, on the software front.

I spent all afternoon putting in applications at restaurants.

I can't sleep at night from worrying about the debt. I just want to be able to float until I can get a professional job, after I've got some credit hours and (hopefully, if the part-time offer works out), some experience under my belt.

I just feel like I'm treading water; there's no point in anything; life sucks. I had an annus horribilis, and now... here I am. I have no prospect of healthcare, I will never, ever be out of debt. I can't believe I can't find a job. I really can't.

Welcome to *'s America.

:shrug:

Go to the Texas Forum. See details on my birthday dinner/party/whatever on Saturday. Join us, have some fun.

I wish I could offer better advice...:evilfrown:

That's so sweet. I am already going to someone else's birthday party! haha. I am planning on drinking all Cokes the whole time... :/

:hi:

...I bet your party is after that. :P

Cokes? :evilfrown:

1 - Mary Kay party (yeah, seriously, it's a favor to someone, I'm not buying a thing!)
2 - honky tonk
3 - birthday party

But Guero's sounds grrrreat!!!

:9

I'll PM my number, in case you want to find us.

I really don't think I can, as I am already overextended by obligations to friends...

But if I somehow can make it, I will - love Guero's - but I think I already said that!

I even almost stopped in there to apply for a job! But went on to Magnolia instead. :)

Good luck with your job hunt. I was out of work for about 4 months during the fall, but I finally got something earlier this year. It's not perfect, but it's indoors and pays ok.

The best thing to do is keep busy, work where you can until something better comes up.

I now have a decent job but it took awhile to get it, and then a friend found it for me.

Think positive, getting depressed will not help.

Keep busy, I worked two part time jobs until this job cam along.

Make contacts, other people may know about a job you can apply for.

I have been where you are, it did get better.

It could always be worse, I was never homeless or hungry.

:pals: :hug:

:)

Are we TAKING OVER?!?!?! Muhahahahaha.

I feel better already. It's hard. I am approaching 30 and it's kind of depressing. Keats was already dead.

:hi:

You life is just getting started, I am 52 and life is great.

Life is how you look at it, I always find something positive in everything.

I did get depressed when I was younger, real depressed never again.

Talk to me if you need to, we Texans stick together.

LOL, I'm 25. I never quite thought of it as approaching 30. I have thought a LOT about where I've been going over the last week. I suffered a mental breakdown and for days was unable to do anything.

Finally, after confiding in a friend things I have managed to put things in perspective and things seemed to have picked up. Originally I had intended to go seek professional help, but I'm thinking I won't need it now. But you seem to have perspective as indicated by your first paragraph.

Things will hopefully pick up soon. You seem to have family and friends to rely on when needed. The job search can be a bitch and you may end up working jobs you don't like in the meanwhile to get where you want. I hope you make it there soon.

:hi:

You hang in there, too. It could always be worse.

When you are applying for receptionist and restaurant jobs to tide you over, it might be a good idea to leave some of your accomplishments off of your resume, because it is likely that the potential employer views you as over-qualified, and thus they suspect that you will grow quickly bored and will leave as soon as you find something better (which, of course, you will). From their perspective, though, it means that they will have to go through the whole process again in a very short period of time because you WILL find a great job that you love very soon! You will, you will, you will!!!!!

I know it probably feels wrong to leave out some of the very things that you are rightly proud of accomplishing and that you have every right to be proud of, but if you're looking for something to tide you over to pay the bills for a while, you might have to downplay your accomplishments to serve your own ends, temporarily.

I realize this isn't the best advice in the world, but I also know that it works as I had to do that once a long time ago. :D


Good luck! And chin up!! You have obvious talents and terrific qualifications and you WILL find the perfect job before too long!!

EDIT to add: I am a non-Texan ~ ~ ~ ~ hee hee. :D

There are so many students arnd recent grads around here, what with us having the largest university in the US, that I don't think it's a HUGE problem. I've been putting on the waitressing applications that I have a BA (my other experience is in the UK and I don't want them to think I'm English! ha!), and that I am working toward a masters, part-time, and so am looking for flexible part-time work for a couple of years. :shrug:

I hope you can find a job that suits your hours better. My niece goes to O.U. and had the same problems finding work that fit her schedule. She ended up taking a job as a house sitter for a professor that is on sabbatical. It doesn't pay much but it cut her living expenses way down. Since your in a college town also it might be something you can look into?


BTW Austin isn't the largest university in the U.S., Arizona State is. ;)
Austin is #4 or #5 last I read.

Are you in a position to get unemployment? Medicaid? Food stamps?
Any state or federal agencies that can help you with either school expenses or food and/or health coverage?

If you have been a working, taxpaying person up until now, do not hesitate to take advantage of the system now that you need it.

Can you get a job off the books for the time being?

At this point take any help you can get.
My friend's son is doing his residency and is on Medicaid. I was shocked. She told me that all the Residents get on Medicaid!!!

Good luck. I am sure you are going to find something great.

I worked part-time, 20 hours a week, when I lived here as a student, and I've been in the UK for the past four years. I've worked about six months in Texas since I got back, not enough to qualify for any benefits, and I wasn't fired. I am pretty sure I can't get Medicaid. (Greatest country in the world...? At least in the UK, at the worst of times, when I was waiting tables, I NEVER had to worry about my health! :mad: )

So sorry you are in this position. I can totally empathize. I am on unemployment now, for three months. No benefits. No job prospects.

:rofl:

The joys of unemployment!!!

Thanks for the empathy. Good luck to you, to, my friend.

Good luck to you too. :thumbsup: :hi:

What happens in 9-12 months? If you have a masters already, why are you going after another MA?

to become an archivist/academic librarian, a field in which my other masters will be an advantage, but you need this professional qualification

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

If I was still in East Texas I'd be positively suicidal. Though my sense of superiorty, at least, would be preserved. hahaha

I have a Masters in medieval history. When I moved into my last house, the man on one side of me had a PhD in linguistics, his wife was an RN. The couple on the other side comprised another PhD and a lawyer, and the couple across the street had a MS and a lowly BA. I Mississippi I would have been a genius, but in Austin I'm a slacker! Sigh.

Bwhahahahaha!

:rofl:

Where in MS are you from? I know some people from there, and have spent some time there myself.

I guess we shouldn't complain; that's why Austin's so great!

All washed away, although my home was actually above the areas that got washed away.

Don't know anybody from down there. I am more familiar with the Vicksburg/Natchez area... know some people from Hattiesburg, been to Gulf Port once.

Anyway, crazy, isn't it?

Nice to meet you!

And Hattiesburg quite a few times. Can't say I know it, though.

Nice to meet you, too. And quit following me from state to state! (Wait, I never lived in England... wait, that's not a state...) :)

Exercise. Exercise. Exercise.

If you are not used to it, work up very slowly to 20-25 minutes of intense aerobics, five days a week. Clears the cobwebs out and you will feel and think great! ;)

I have been swimming a bit, but not in a very, well, athletic way! haha

It's too hot to do anything else around here right now, and I can't afford a gym (and wouldn't want to go to one, anyway). I need to start making myself get up atl ike 6am and swim for an hour.

Now move forward


:shrug:

Love the shrug at the end! :)

That rose reminds me of my old house in England... aah...

I work as a janitor. I feel fortunate to have this job. It pays pretty good and has good benefits. (In fact, you could easily get health care, simply by marrying me :evilgrin: if only you were not almost half my age :cry:)

It sounds like alot of your problems could be taken care of by moving back home. Is that an option? Or does that seem less attractive than other options (like throwing yourself in front of a moving bus, for example)?

Although actually it is not fair to say that you cannot find a job, since you were offered two. You cannot find a good job, with hours and salary that you find acceptable. Or, OTOH, you cannot find affordable housing. Plus, I have usually done without cell phones and cars.

Thanks.

:hi:

I cannot move back home, no. This is home. I've only been here six weeks, and it took me nine months of being mired in Hicksville to get here. I would rather live under a bridge in Austin than EVER go back there. I will not go back there until my funeral, and maybe not then.

Yeah, I knew if I took either of those jobs, I would just have to immediately start looking again, and I wouldn't have been able to take off for interviews, etc. So... stuck. Plus I figured since I got offered two on the same day (!) that it wouldn't take me too long to find something else...

I would totally be a janitor if I could live on the money and it had healthcare!!! Definitely.

I can't sell my car, because a) I need it; b) I just bought it, and my dad made me take out an extended warranty on it, which is cash I would never be able to recoup. I don't have a land line, and I need the cell phone since I am often out running errands/looking for jobs/at the library, etc., and that way all these potential employers can contact me. haha. Seriously, though, I've looked into just getting a land-line but I don't think that would really serve my needs and would tus end up being less economical.

Hrm.

I need to spend tomorrow afternoon doing a serious, up-front financial overhaul.

I can already tell we are incompatible. I would hate living in a big city of almost 500,000. At least I think I would. I have never really lived in one, except for five school years in Twintown (population 1.9 million) but being in a dorm on campus is not the same as living in the city.

Now I am in an exurb of about 60,000 and I would much rather be back in the village of 5,000 where I lived for nine years. With the internets now hicksville is not nearly as limiting.

I am sure my income would not be enough for living in Austin and buying a car. And paying student loans - yikes! A daddy scholarship and a graduate assistantship covered those costs, so I only wasted time in college.

;)

haha

that's why you didn't get the job- they figure that you'd be out of the job asap, and they'd just have to start the process all over again.

Catch 22

Wish I hadn't gone to college at all most days.

they probably have plenty of qualified, even experienced candidates- why would they hire an over-qualified person who's just going to leave?

if you want a receptionist job- leave the stuff about the master's degree off the application.

and why aren't you seeking employment in that field...?

you don't really say.

Wanted to be a professor, burned out, too much bullshit in that field, not to mention the debt I'd have accrued doing a PhD.

So I am going to put it to use by getting a Master of Library Science, where my second masters will actually be viewed positively, especially if I work in a library with a related collection. It's the perfect compromise.

The only other obvious thing is to teach high school, which is what I keep hearing. I hate kids, hate the pledge, hate NCLB, and we don't need any more teachers doing it "because they couldn't do anything else."

i'll look forward to your posts in the coming years about how the job you've landed in your field doesn't pay you enough to pay off all your student loans.

That's one of the reasons I am going into this field. Decent pay. I'm not going to become a millionaire (and don't want to), but it'll work out. If I can get through this rough patch and afford to get the qualification! :)

Student loans are just a fact for most of us nowdays. I worked the whole time, and got some scholarships, and still owe. No way around it. It's a big dent in my monthly income, but not totally unmanageable. I wish I could start all over again, though. I've thought about writing a "tough love" book for high school students about college, debt, alternative career paths, values, self-awareness, and realism.

:shrug:

Edited for spelling and to add: I think it's not really a good set-up that we are stuck for our whole lives because of decisions that we made (in good faith, with parents and high school counselors cheering us on) at age 18. :/ That's why I advocate the European-style gap year (or two), with working, visiting other countries (preferably Third World, volunteering), and taking time to learn another language and see a bit of the world, get a dose of real work, and think about things before you jump into all that debt.

- there's probably more money in that...although you may want to invest in a top-notch proofreader.

what was that part about above average intelligence, again...?

"...I've thought about righting a "tough love" book for high school students about college,"

(unless you're referring to a particular book that has fallen over?)

i guess not all master's degrees are created equally...?

I assume you've never made a spelling mistake or typographical error here in DU. ???

And, as you are probably aware, posting rapid-fire comments on online message boards is really more akin to speaking than to writing. It's not FORMAL. Love your use of capitalization, for instance. :shrug:

You must be a really nice, happy person, to go into a thread titled "I'm depressed" and bash the OPer.

If you didn't notice, I corrected it almost immediately. :eyes:

YOU'RE the one who chose to lord you superior intellect over us all...
:rofl:

really...thanks for the laughs.

I wasn't "lording" anything over anybody. I assume EVERYONE on DU is of above-average intelligence. ;)

I maintain that occasional spelling errors on an online message board is not evidence that someone is ignorant. :shrug:

I just find it very dispiriting that I, a smart, capable, hardworking person, cannot find a job other than waiting tables. Excuse me for coming to DU looking for support or advice.

why did you have to make a special point about yours?

by the way- what you made wasn't a spelling error- it would probably fall more under the syntax error category...

and waiting tables isn't necessarily a bad gig- i was a fine-dining waiter/waitcaptain for several years- and i made very good coin doing it...and it didn't bother me in the least to do the work, and accept the paycheck...the same for the years i spent shoveling concrete...and my ACT scores were higher in every category than those of 99% of the people who took the test- i'm no dummy either. you just have to make the best of what you can at any given time...i've lived thru harder economic times than these...you will too.

I have worked as a freelance proofreader. :)

that your verb is past-tense...

:rofl:

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

It always cheers me up.

:D

receptionist type jobs .....

just take your MA off of your resume....... they will think you're over qualified and not hire you.

Downplay your smarts - and emphasize your people schools, pleasant personality, and organizational ability. Oh - and smile a lot. :)

:hug:

That's a nice breath of fresh air.

:hi:

A great place to live ! A crappy place to find employment!

If I can be of any assistance, please PM me. I may have some contacts for you.

Until then... GOOD LUCK!!

I myself am trying to figure out how to feed two people and a dog on $200 a month.

How about some nice sympathy....

A good workout always makes me feel better. If you cannot workout for health reasons, I recommend Tai Chi or Yoga.

Also - volunteer with your local Special Olympics or even a Lions Club. Helping others is a great way to get out of a rut. And you will meet some great people in the process.

Thanks!

Why you cannot post anything on DU without getting baseless, rude, personal attacks as responses? It's inevitable. :shrug:

I'm leaving my own thread.

...the fact that you made yourself the subject of the thread?

positive and do acknowledge that even now life could be much worse. My son lives in Austin and explains most everyone in Austin has a degree, many stay in Austin after college because it is a great place to live, but they work restaurant and grunt jobs. My son is also highly intelligent, sometimes in-your-face offensively so and speaks his mind on the job which is not highly valued in white-collar business world (Republican), so he does not get the best of jobs. If you need money now, get info on or I can get some for you, about Pharmco medical studies in Austin, they pay you to test drugs in a clinical environment. Said son does this to supplement income and for big travel around the world money. Now, DU’ers have given you lots of great advice to keep your spirits up. When applying for a job you shouldn’t have to dumb-down, but if it’s a lowkey job, maybe stick the IQ on a back burner and let the employer know you’re hungry, you want to work, you LOVE to work.

And now, all the good advice will be applied to myself because as of today I am laid off. Company hired me right after H.Katrina forced me to move to TX and leave a job I loved, but now they can’t justify expenses…I’m the third change this year. So, we can commiserate together. I’ll be at the employment agency first thing Monday morning.

If you need money now, get info on or I can get some for you, about Pharmco medical studies in Austin, they pay you to test drugs in a clinical environment.

They try the drugs out on you BEFORE they are even allowed to give them to patients in actual clinical studies. And they pay you <$100/day.

would use her own good judgement about which studies to try for. It is in a clinical environment, they screen everyone and won't accept you if you have health problems. And some studies pay way more than $100/day. Again, JUST a suggestion.

expensive, & go register. Probably half of all permanent office jobs start as temps now--because employers KNOW there are really good unemployed people out there. LIKE YOU.

Also accept that you are stuck momentarily in the "Everything sucks, always has, always will..." mode and it, too, will pass.

Get some sleep. DO NOT believe you can't find a job. You can. Rule of thumb is 7 first-interviews equal one offer. Get going Monday. PM me if ya like.

threads I managed to get it locked (a deadly dangerous thing to do). Let me just say you are not alone. My husband's got a masters degree and has been out of work for a yaer. I have 2 college degrees myself and I was forced to take a secretarial position. Great benefits, shitty pay and a boss that makes Atilla the Hun look like Jesus Christ.

Sometimes, my friend, you have to literally take it one minute at a time.

To the mods: Try to restrain yourself and NOT lock this thread. This is someone who is reaching out and needs help. And avoid the Frickin' 800 number crap!

Works for me.

Get well soon, pal.