Strange Things You Have Said To Your Pet

To Daddy the Cat, aka Mr. Knock-Shit-Off-All-My-Life, this morning:

"Please don't step in my breakfast."

who has a tendency to want to be fed or let out at 3:00 a.m.

"Dammit, where is your 'snooze' button?"

although, his timing is impeccable, up at 5:15, wanting food by 5:30, out by 5:45, back in at precisely 8:10 :eyes:

The newsvending business is an early business.

Monday, - when it goes off at 3:15 a.m. If he could just hold off a short while...

*sigh*

"Why do you put your ass in my face? The other end is so much nicer to look at."

to my barking deaf dog.

I saw a puddle on the floor and I said "Did you do this?"

I say that constantly, trying to pick my way through the house with one or all three of my cats underfoot. One tries to anticipate where I'm headed and gets in front of me a lot.

Whenever I come home from a trip and they come out to greet me, I say, "Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you!"

Actually, pretty much everything I say to my cats is strange.

Chuckie the Chuckiemutt
He's the Chuckiest mutt I know-ow-ow
Chuckie the Chuckiemutt
He's a lucky mutt
With a fuzzy butt
He's the Chuckiest mutt I know!

I should be committed... :eyes:

And Chuckiemutt is adorable! :loveya:

I like Chuckie a lot!

:P

She especially likes to be sung to while eating...:eyes:

"Who's the kitty
Whose poops are shitty?"

I just started doing that one day out of the blue. Maybe I'll see you in the mental ward. (BTW, cute puppy.)

When he gets in my hair or annoys me.

Now I've got my sister saying it, hehe!

(In a loud voice) GOODBYE.... FOREVER!!! They always come back :lol:

I said "shut up".

"Are you gonna do those dishes?"

"When's the last time you took out the garbage?"

Mostly stuff like that.

I'd like it very much if I could use it as an example to get my little dudes to do more than offer me more lint to decorate my black wool coat.

My toy rat terrier is very smart but also very evil. She invents games that usually involve her doing something she knows is bad. She enjoys me petting her most of the time. But if I ask her "Can I pet you?" first, she immediately snarls and tries to bite my hand. She also invented a game called "Can I have...?". This involves me saying "Can I have the <insert object here - ball, collar, french fry, sock, etc.>?", then she runs and finds that object and brings it back to me, but then she bites it really hard and growls if I try to take it out of her mouth. This actually works out pretty well if we are playing fetch with her ball and I am getting tired of playin, all I have to say is "Can I have the ball?" and then she refuses to give it back to me and runs off snarling to play by herself. So at least I can turn her evil against her sometimes.

Grover LOVES to run and chase tennis balls, but when he brings it back, he won't let go of it so that you can throw it again. :P

I heard my dog getting into the garbage one night (years ago), so I went into the kitchen to tell her 'No!'. Then to my surprise, this sweet voice say the equivalent of, 'Why not?' Apparently, I hadn't realized that this was one of her greatest pleasures in life. And yes, I had eaten a strange plant (the kind of which I will not disclose here) earlier that evening, which might explain why I heard my dog talking to me.

I say this to my Husky and she gives me this look that says, "Of course, you fool." And then she wants me to rub her belly.

I'll be laying in bed, reading a book...and the kitty, Chess, will come in my bedroom, leap up into the bed, and climb on my stomach...with her butt in my face. NOT the side I want to see. :-)

:)

"Dammit Elly May are you in the Q tips AGAIN"

"You'd really like to go express your anal glands, wouldn't you?"

Never said it to anyone else.

Now that doesn't seem real funny, but it is. Rusty the Jack Russell likes to get in the bottom cabinets and get my plastic bowls out...but that's not the funny part.

This summer I had the kitchen window open and Rusty did his usual and I screamed at him...oops, I notice the new neighbors outside in their garden, which is close to my open window. I gave them a little wave. A few days later I decide that the neighbors had settled in, and it was time to go introduce myself. I went over and said hi I'm Nancy...blah blah....then they said, "I see your husband Rusty all the time over at the Savoy resturant."

I said no my husband is named Rob..Rusty is my dog. We got a big laugh. They thought I was yelling at my husband "Rusty"