Breaking: Jacques Chirac, dictator of France, captured in heroic US raid

Jacques Chirac, the ruthless dictator of France who supported the 9-11 terrorists by trying to prevent and then refusing support the US invasion of Iraq, has been captured in a spectacular raid by US special forces commandos on his residence in the Elysee Palace in Paris.

At the moment of his arrest, Chirac was reportedly watching with tears in his eyes the FOX News cable television network coverage of the breaking news of the capture of his close ally in the Axis of Evil, Saddam Hussein, former evil dictator of Iraq.

The brave special forces soldiers where able to capture the tyrant Chirac without firing a single shot, and he was reported to have asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" The arresting soldier replied that it was not a joke and that he would be tried for his numeroius horrific crimes against the United States of American and humanity.

Chirac is currently undergoing medical treatment for injuries he received while in custody, and is scheduled to be transported to the US Naval Base Guantanamo Bay, Cuba for further interrogation about his intimate knowledge of terrorist attacks currently being planned against the Homeland. Bush Admiministration officials have indicated that they intend to try him in a military tribunal after he has divulged all the information he knows about his ties to terrorists, Saddam Hussein, and the weapons of mass destruction that he reportedly purchesed from Saddam just before the invasion of Iraq, which Chriac is suspected of having then given to other anti-American terrorists.

Asked to comment on the capture of Chirac, President Bush replied, "This is stupendiferous day for the coalition that proves we are winning our war on terror against those who hate us for our freedoms, like Saddam Hussein, the hijackers on September 11th, and the Democratic Party. God bless America."

You're making it up.

I accept what I read uncritically. Pass the freedom fries.

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