Whats your relationship status

Are you??

www.okcupid.com ?

Advantages:

It's free.

They spam you very little (all I ever get is notices that there are new hawt singles in my area who want to meet me! :rofl: Usually just a once a week mail from them with that)

When you aren't trying to hit on someone they have a bazillion personality tests to take and a ton of personality questions, so you get a match percentage to other people who have answered the questions. It really is nice and I highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for someone special.

nothing yet. :(

Wanna see the profile? :D

Sure if ya want, you can either PM it or just post it...

:)

:evilgrin:

:evilgrin:

And check yours for something else :o

I need something that's more than single and less than living in sin. Thanks! :hi:

:P

I have no idea why anybody'd put up with me. :wtf:

(1) Because you're really nice

(2) Your veganism shows that you have a soft heart; you don't want to do violence to anything

(3) Because you're really pretty

:loveya:

Yes! Married! Sheesh!

give www.okcupid.com a try.

No I don't work for them.

They are a good site though.

:pals:

I’ve never been in a relationship. Now I know that there are people who have been in relationships and have come away from those relationships with bad experiences/memories and perhaps I’m fortunate that I’ve never been in a relationship if you consider the above factor. But at the same time it would still be nice to have at least had the experiences of having been involved in a relationship, to have had the experience of mutual love and, even if the relationship didn’t work out, to have learned from that experience. I see so many people of my age being involved in a relationship and, granted, I’ve seen them go through their ups and downs but it’s just something I want to be a part of. I feel as though I have so much to give in terms of love and mutual companionship and I wonder if I’ll ever have the chance to give it

It’s also because my family and I are going through a very depressing period due to the serious illness of a close family member and I’ve seen other members of their family draw support from their significant others and companions whereas I effectively have no one to turn to in that way. Now that’s not a reason to enter a relationship in itself and I don’t propose for a second that I’d enter into a relationship on that premise but, looking at how other family members draw their support from their significant others, it would be nice to have someone special in my life whom I could confide in and share my experiences with in a way that you can’t do with a family member or a friend.

I think it also coincides with other factors in my life at the moment which are not working out too well and it all adds up

My apologies –this is not intended to be a sympathy play and somehow what I intend to say and what I mean doesn’t seem to come out adequately in words (it sounds more something that Dan Quayle would write) but it’s just my best attempt to convey my feelings at the moment

But thanks Supernova for asking:hug:

I find that some of the most unbearable people have had life partners (even if it didn't last), while some of the most pleasant ones are alone. I knew a woman who'd never had a relationship and she was in her late forties.

I'm considered undesirable by most women. I'm short and handicapped. Still, I found love at an early age and we've been together for decades. If I ever had to date again, the rejection would be predictable and hard to take.

I don't know why fate deals such random hands. Hope you find happiness, with or without a partner.

All of your post is all so true. Maybe I will find happiness on my own but maybe part of the problem is that I haven't come to terms with being on my own yet.

I too have a fear I would be considered undesirable by most women. I too have a noticeable disability and am not too attractive. But your story of finding true love and the fact that you've been together for decades does give me reason for hope. Congratulations on finding your life partner and finding true happiness

Thanks for your post and your best wishes KDUSA and I'm glad you have found happiness in your life:yourock:

I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I only wish the best for you.

Having a disability can make one feel 'flawed', and certainly there are a lot of messages out there saying that.

You don't necessarily have to believe those messages, however. You are not flawed - different (but then, we all are!). Certainly not average!

It's a long, slow process. Grieving who you could have been, what you could have done, what your life could have been like.

Then comes looking at your strengths. You have a lot of them - there's no doubt about that. You come across as eloquent, thoughtful and kind. You also have many more that others close to you are much more aware of. That's a big plus. Most people with disabilities have an empathy the general public may not have. We're also very strong - most people have no idea what we face, have faced, or perhaps will face, every day. That takes a lot of courage.

Ask people close to you how they perceive you (only those who are supportive and whom you trust). You may be very surprised at what they may say. Take it in - you may come across very differently than what you perceive you do (it's too easy to fall into negative self-perception mode). There can be both positive and negative aspects, and it's important to acknowledge both.

Go and sit in a mall or a grocery store parking lot on a busy day. You will see all shapes, sizes and (societal) standards of beauty, so many of them have found life partners, have families, loved ones, etc.

You do need to feel good about yourself, and not hope somebody takes pity on you, but that someone will see who you really are. You have to find who that person is, inside, however.

Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is also more about spirit, energy, personality than looks.

If you're wondering, yes, it's been something I've been working on, too. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. :) :hug:

.. someone out there for everyone. If it is important for you to share your life with someone, and it should be because there is nothing better, all you have to do is decide that it's important and put your energy into finding that person.

I know it sounds simplistic - but I really believe it. I could expound at length, but I won't right now.

Just decide what it is you want, and then see it happen. It may take time but it will.

ps: Sure some relationships go bad and suck and leave scars and so forth. Nothing in this life that is worth having is without risks. Don't let that stop you, most of the time even when things end badly the net result is good - a lesson learned.

:hug: You're elequent as ever, SD. :hug:

I know what you're talking about. I've done the family trauma without a partner (and deeply, deeply resented it at the time, for all the reasons you so elequently state.) At the same time I left my marriage, my parents decided this life was over for them. *sigh* But I realized that person would have been more of a hinderance than a help to me on that front. So frustrating as it was to let go, it would have been worse having to deal with him at the same time.

I realized I can only do so much heartache at a time and everybody would have to wait their turn at the grief well. :silly: I just accepted that I was gonna be pretty much out of it for a while until the dust settled. :hide: Kinda like being on a Tilt-A-Whirl except I wasn't allowed off the ride until I felt good and fucked up inside. :evilfrown:

I wish I knew what to tell you. I think you're a kind person, SD. I can't say I've had a good experience with relationships, either. Inocuous, is about as close as I can come. I still hope to one day, so we'll see.

If you feel like it, please keep us updated on your family. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time right now. :hug: Just remember, "this too, shall pass."

If you wanna talk sometime, just PM me.

The first steps in any nurturing healthy relationship with another person begins with loving yourself, and believing in yourself. As you gain more self-confidence, self-esteem, and independence, good things will fall into place in your life because people will be attracted to your positive energy. Your disabilities are bumps on the road, sometimes even mountains to be climbed, but never let them be unscalable steep cliffs that prevent you from finding happiness and achieving your dreams.

You are a smart, strong and courageous person with the potential to create a happy and successful life. Start believing and living it.

:hug:

And, FWIW, mostly happily so!

:toast:

Yikes!!! How did that happen?:wow:

and your daddy's shotgun? :shrug:

:spank:

but right now, too hectic for me to notice happily or unhappily...

Once I move and things settle down, I'll figure it out. :silly:

Happy as can be with the most wonderful woman in the world!

well, I guess "used to it" says it best. :hi:

:D

Going on 7 years now.

Actually, now that I think about it, my anniversary
is 3 weeks away! HOLY CRAP!

I better get started on a present, no?

:D

:hi:

And never using online dating sevices again... Thanks in advance for the link though :)

Not quite engaged, but definitely not single, official status be damned.

Not happily single or sadly single.

Just single.

Married for 14 years August 1. Known him since I was 20 (i.e. for 23 years). It's been developing over the past several years. We've been to counseling, but hubby always seems to end up back at Square One. :( Since 2003, I have come very close to leaving on four separate occasions. If I get that close again, I'm going.

Just speaking the truth... :hi:

:hug:


I voted sadly alone...just in that kinda mood today...

:hug: right back!

Life is to short to be unhappy

I hope the same for you too! :hug: :hi:

:cry:

:hug:

:hug: Thanks. :hi:

stay this way.

You build a lot of walls over 25 years.

for me, but (luckily) hasn't realized this yet. :)

Tim

we compliment each other nicely.

But I don't get to do anything for my anniversary because my goober husband treated his friends to expensive NASCAR tickets two weekends ago. Ass. I'll make a romantic dinner of Top Ramen, I guess.

about it.

Depends on the day really. Most days I am content with it... others, I think it sure would be nice to be falling into a large dent on the other side of the bed.

you gave the single folks three options... just single, happily alone, or sadly alone

us married folk should get at least two... happily or unhappily

then that is me, although I am not sad most of the time. :hi:

for somebody great! :hi:

:hug: I am happy to see you! :loveya:

Actually I have been told before that I am good to hug. :hug:

:)

It is good to see you as well. I'm having a bad day and you've brightened it. :loveya:

Emphatically so. :hug:

I'm sorry to hear you're having a bad day. That is grievous. But thank you for your kind words.

puncturing the arch of my foot last night. Let that be a lesson to never enter a teenager's room barefoot. :)

:hurts:

I wish us all to find happiness and a compatible mate of some sort...may it happen soon and, with just the right touch of magic so that we realize how special it is!
:hug:

:hug:

But not being religious in any way, I don't worry about sin. :evilgrin:

Come on ladies of DU, you know you want me.

I really love my wife. She's a very fine person.

I've lived with her 22 years, 21 of them as her husband.

Yesterday we found out about an old friend who had died. We ran into her husband, who told us. We haven't been all that close in recent years, but I am devastated for that man. I know how I would feel.

Jesum Crow, I thought that expression died out with my grandmother twenty years ago.

After fighting the concept of marriage for 12 years, I came home from a business trip saying "okay, let's go for it, let's get married" and S.O. said "oh no, I'm not getting married just because you're now feeling the social stigma of being in your 40s and unmarried. If you didn't want to marry for love, you don't get to marry to avoid social awkwardness in business situations!"

I was rolling on the floor, wiping away the tears of laughter, and S.O. claimed that I was only laughing because I knew he was right.

Which was totally correct.

sounds like you got a keeper. very bright and intuitive.

he claims it's his job to watch people and figure out their motivations.

It's not fun to be treated as virtually transparent, however. You can't get away with ANYTHING!

The longer I'm alone, the happier I am!

Then we're jetting off to Los Cabos to be married on the beach

i have a girlfriend that knows I just got out of an 8 year relationship (that I didn't end) so I'm not really in the mood for commitment.

So, in essence, she's a lover.

It rules.

but dating a wonderful guy :-) Sooo happily divorced????

Well, legally married anyhow, coming up on 10 years, but living apart, wife had an affair, with a younger woman, so I left, have been separated for 5 months, unhappy, depressed, morbidly dark and desperate at times, lost 40 pounds, stopped sleeping, so I moved out of the house in March into a lower flat, we put the house up for sale, she moved in upstairs from me this week, kids think it's cool to have 2 apartments with mom and dad in same duplex, things are kinda weird, and if I date someone, i feel like *I* am the one who is cheating, limbo sucks, painted her bedroom for her this weekend, waiting for one of us to actually file for divorce, we still eat dinner together with the kids, apparently neither is willing to file, but neither of us is willing to work at staying together, or are even sure if we could, and she has no idea now if she is gay, straight, honest, lying, confused, Bi, depressed, crazy, or just a general scared and lonely fuck-up.

Got a poll choice for that?

RL

:hug: :hug: :hug: Limbo is indeed hell. My heart goes out to you.

do. You have a lot of history together and it sounds like neither one of you is willing to lose that just yet. I think you're doing really well...look at how happy your children are. If you can take it..i.e. if the current situation makes you feel better, stick with it. If not, then maybe it's time.

Have you been to counseling? I cannot remember if you had or not.

Know this though... you are often in my thoughts. :hug:

One day I'll worry about whether I'm happy or sad, lonely or relieved, or whether I even care about romance anymore. For now, I'm just letting the nightmare slide away.

And very, very happy:)

Getting better all the time almost without exception these days. :donut: :donut: :)

My man and I will be together for five years on Thursday! :bounce: :hi:

I would hate to have you threatening my marriage. ;-)

:)

and anonymous honeymoons here and there.

i can find an anonymous honeymoon at a stop light.

fuck buddies are like trying to find a date period.

just with different rules -- instead of asking where is this relationship going -- you ask are we going out to eat first or just fucking.

and never leave your toothbrush.

But with a ring and all that....does that count? hehe

...and not looking, occasional lonely nights be damned.


It's better this way. Much better.



:7

Recently out of a relationship. :sigh:

Unhappily Single at the moment, and just turned 40.

very open to a relationship.

Neither happy nor sad. Just single. Although happy not to be in a bad relationship. :D

Binational relationship.

I'm not happy or sad about it at the moment. However I would like to meet someone to spend time with. Decent single guys are hard to come by in my area.

I am engaged to be married!

You guy's make a pretty good looking couple!!

I'd be getting married!

Evryone we've told has has dropped their jaws and stared in disbelief... then followed it up with- "Man- that's PERFECT!" heheheh

but I think the type I go for (exceptionally bright but in a wide-ranging eclectic way, verbally adept with a touch of wicked mischief, masculine without being macho, and kind-hearted) tends to get married early and stay that way.

Most of the single men in my age group seem rather one-dimensional, or at least, they don't know how to show their other dimensions, and they're looking for a housekeeper with benefits. They think they're "nice," and they swear truthfully that they'd never be abusive, but I'm already not being abused.

I--and most of the other single women in my age group--are not looking for someone to keep house for (we already keep house for ourselves, thank you) but for an intellectual, emotional, and physical companion.

I simply can't get interested in anyone who doesn't tickle my brain.

x(

We'd only been dating for two months, but it still sucks.

been alone for the last 17 years. At this point I realize this is it for me, and it's pretty depressing. I'd like to be able to have a little place in the country away from everything, nothing fancy, but will never be able to afford it on my own. I like being alone, but I miss having someone to share things with, someone to be there when you need to talk, etc. I haven't had a good heart to heart in almost 20 years.

Sadly pathetic, but oh well . . . .

fit under the happily alone category, also.

One day I will find that special someone, but I am so close to a college degree. That is my primary focus.

I know that I will eventually connect with someone, but for now I am selfish.

I was in a relationship for 3 years and my partner did not understand why I studied so much.

Dang girl, I'm goin' for the prize that will make both of our lives more managable.

Needless to say, she did not understand that concept.

My major, Network Security!!!!

Ok, she says we're "living in sin", whatever that means. She'll be my wife in six months, though. :thumbsup::woohoo:

Peace out :)

though not quite married. I am betrothed to my beloved. ;D

...20 years this coming August. Only semi-happily, I'm afraid. x(