The art of revenge -- need some good advice!

An unfortunate situation has developed within my office with a wet behind the ears, petulant recent college graduate that needs to be dealt with at once.

The person in question, who is also an evangelical christian, recently recieved a massive promotion that he is TOTALLY unqualified for.

As we all know, kissing ass is often a means to get ahead in any kind of office situation when one has no real talent. This kid is a NATURAL. He is to ass kissing what Michael Jordan was to basketball.

He is completely arrogant, thinks he knows it all, and seems to put out the vibe he invented the profession we are in. Usually that's a recipe for disaster when starting a new career but our boss simply adores him like a son, repeatedly referring to him as a "rising star" and "boy wonder" in front of co-workers.

There are a band of us who would like to drag the kid into a dark alley and beat him with a rubber hose. Unfortunately, that is illegal which is the ONLY thing keeping it from happening.

The sad thing is he got the promotion over a father of 3, who has worked there 5 years longer, and whose wife is currently recovering from a serious injury. He's the sole provider now and is universally loved by everyone in our office -- except for those making the decisions. His only crime is 1-He doesn't kiss ass 2-Is relatively quiet 3-Doesn't stick up for himself.

So wise fellow DUers, how would you handle this situation? A lesson needs to be taught and unfortunately I'm the only one mean enough to teach it. He needs to be taken down a notch -- or eight. The catch is it needs to be done without people knowing who did it for obvious reasons.

Suggestions please!

Set him up for failure.

Suggest some huge idea that he thinks will put a huge feather in his cap.

What you need to do is feed his ego so that it'll be more than his ability can handle.

When he's over his head, that would be a good time to be elsewhere

You'll hear the crash for sure

when he fails, he does so, with a GRAND AUDIENCE! No good show, should be without an audience you know. My wife is still dealing with a moron, sorta like this guy, and her best tactic is...

1. Making them look stupid, and saving his stupid correspondence...

2. Sharing those stupid correspondence, and putting a crowd in place, when she does the "making them look stupid.".....

Document and Save everything

A very mischievious friend of mine suggested planting weed in his car and calling security or signing him up for pornographic e-mail using his office e-mail.

hard enough, wow, you guys must really hate this guy!

I wouldn't do the weed thing because 1-It's a waste of perfectly good pot. 2-I'm not quite that hardcore. But it's going to have to be something along those lines.

It can't lead back to you

The person that you're seeking revenge should do all the work

Once he realizes he's fucked, he has to have NO idea how he got there

It's all about exploiting the target's weaknesses

I don't want to go into specifics, but we have to interact with readers on a regular basis. One idea I had was setting up a fake e-mail posing as a reader who is critical of his coverage. He's the type that would be easily annoyed and probably quite confrontational in an e-mail if pushed far enough. His responses could then be posted on a very popular message board (using a fake account)and then the appropriate supervisors could be notified anonymously.

And be very irate

When you're critical, be hardhitting but polite

and be patient

revenge is a dish best served cold




or so my ex told me at our divorce hearing. I don't know what fuck she was talking about.


buh dum pssshhhhht. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

I have never been good at outing morons/ass kissers from my job, I just don't have the tact for it really. But, in the few cases in which I did, I did a play by play of their workday, and showed the boss that they were paying this employee for 8 hours of work, when the employee only worked an hour tops...

Find someone with an english accent to imatate God's Voice
Tell him to go to iraq to convert the Iraqi's to christians..Also tell him to wear a shirt w/ a big american flag!

That subject has already come up. He was talking about how wonderful it was that we were in Iraq and I asked him why he wasn't over there if he was so supportive of the war. It did no go over well.

when you catch a war supporter, and you hit them with the "why aren't you serving" line...its classic...the first few times, I used that line, they responded with...

"well, why aren't you there petersond!"

And I'm like, okay moron, I am not for THIS WAR!...:) You are, so hurry up and join, otherwise, you are doing nothing but paying weak lip service.

bitchy, useless coworker.

From the office surveillance tvs, I could talk through the camera.

"Pat! This is GOD speaking! Stop moving things back and forth on the counter and start moving them to them shelves! GOD COMMANDS THEE!"

It was fun.

His greatest strength is also his most his most dire weakness. You must turn his kiss-ass phoney-ness back on himself with skill and subtlety of a master! The answers you seek are in the teachings of Sun-Tzu.

http://classics.mit.edu/Tzu/artwar.html