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Do You Hold Grudges? Or Is It Easy For You Forgive?

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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:02 AM
Original message
Poll question: Do You Hold Grudges? Or Is It Easy For You Forgive?
There is no "It-Depends" option, sorry. --- In general, are you the type of person who is likely to hold a grudge for a long time, or are you the forgiving type?

-- Allen
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:04 AM
Response to Original message
1. I hold them, they don't hold me.
I think I invented the concept of the "Ignore List" long before EarlG did. If I'm holding a grudge against you, you're out of my mind. I don't think about you, you are as a stranger to me, I don't give a shit what we may have "shared" in the past, you're dead, deal with it.
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THUNDER HANDS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:06 AM
Response to Original message
2. I believe in instant forgiveness
I never hold grudges, not even for a hour. I can basically forgive anyone for anything.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:07 AM
Response to Original message
3. It takes too much energy to continuously hold a grudge.
IF you've wronged me seriously, I just ignore you to the best of my abilities. I don't seethe for days about revenge, or devise intricate plots or anything like that. That's WAY too much wasted time and energy.

It's better just to forgive, quietly remove that person from your life.

Now, for life's little transgressions, I let those slide almost immediately. No use getting all upset about basically nothing.

My anger is the same way. I just can't stay mad for long. I get my anger out, and then I'm on to something else.
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:07 AM
Response to Original message
4. I often *want* to hold a grudge, but I can't stay mad for long
About an hour at most. :)
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TXlib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:09 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. Same here
It's too draining to hold a grudge, and when you do, you're giving the object of your grudge power over you.
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:08 AM
Response to Original message
5. I forgive pretty easily. eom
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Rowdyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:10 AM
Response to Original message
7. I'm still nursing a grudge over losing the 1980 election to Reagan
Damn Ted Kennedy for running against Carter!

Can you imagine when I'll consider forgiving Nader? Maybe sometime during my next lifetime?
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zanana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
8. Sometimes I try to fake anger.
Sometimes, I feel myself wanting to forgive and forget, then I remember what the person did or said and I try to stay pissed. Doesn't work, though.
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Kamika Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
9. forever
When i get kids in the future ill also teach them all my enemies and their kids!
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:15 AM
Response to Original message
10. For me, it depends on whether or not the person apologizes.
I never get over anything until someone apologizes and recognizes what they did to me.

However, once they apologize, if it's sincere, it's very hard for me to hold a grudge, no matter what it is.
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:22 AM
Response to Original message
11. For the most part I forgive pretty quick, especially stuff that doesn't
matter. There are a few grudges I hold that concern loyalty/family that cuts to life and death issues. The grudges consists of never forgetting and not giving the person(s) another chance, and they know it. Revenge/justice isn't an option, because the person involved is a sociopath and I value my life and my family. There are just some things that cannot be and should not be minimized/forgotten.
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buddhamama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:23 AM
Response to Original message
12. forgive with ease
i try and learn from my experiences, understand how they came about,etc., and hopefully not make the same mistakes again.
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:29 AM
Response to Original message
13. I forgive, and it ain't easy.
I forgive little things, like insults, easily.

I believe it's very important to forgive, and that it's a decision one makes and has to keep making.

I was hurt as a kid. It took years but I have forgiven the players. But it wasn't totally a spiritual thing. For what it did to my peace of mind, it was a spiritual thing. But the rest of it was a decision I made and have to renew frequently.

I'm not explaining this very well. Is anyone understanding this?
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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
14. I don't see them as gurdges...
I see them as matters of principal.

Typically for me to be angry at someone would require them to totally violate my trust and friendship, ergo, they are honorless scum and deserve my contempt and hatred.

That being said, once and enemy, always an enemy. I have occasionally forgiven scum. They always betray me again.
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FunBobbyMucha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
15. I told off my old boss on the radio!
I hate her with the heat of a thousand suns, even though I left her employ two years ago. I went on a call-in show on local radio and referred to her by her immistakable nickname "Scarriet Coondog" (which is a play on her first and last names), comparing her to Gimli in a bad rayon dress.
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bearfartinthewoods Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:36 AM
Response to Original message
16. i never forget even if i forgive but i also try never to cut off my nose
to spite my face.
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populistmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 09:41 AM
Response to Original message
17. I forgive easily
It doesn't mean I'm going to trust that person again though. For most things, forgiveness is easy. Trust is something you have to earn back.
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 10:10 AM
Response to Original message
18. Aunt Esmarelda!
You're not a fan of "Bewitched," are you, Allen? ;)
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 10:13 AM
Response to Reply #18
19. Oh Yes... I'm definitely a big fan. --- Only...
Edited on Fri Dec-19-03 10:19 AM by arwalden
That's Aunt Clara. Esmarelda (Alice Ghostley) was also a bumbling witch who joined the cast in episode # 172 after Marion Lorne’s death in the fourth season.




-- Allen

P.S.
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 10:20 AM
Response to Original message
20. Sorry, Allen. It DOES depend.
Personal grudges? No.
Corporate/commercial grudges? ABSOLOOTELY!

And there's a florist somewhere in southern New Hampshire who will some morning find their big, plate glass display window smashed to smithereens and they won't know why.

But I will.
Oh yeah, I will.
:evilgrin:
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 10:24 AM
Response to Reply #20
21. I Understand About Commercial Grudges and Political Grudges...
... that's pretty much the same way for me. I'll never forgive either.

When I started the thread, I was thinking more along the lines of personal grudges/family grudges. Odd... but I find it easier to forgive "strangers" on DU than it is for me to forgive family members.

It's also very difficult to forgive family members for things that cross over into that gray area between family-grudges and political-grudges.

-- Allen
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Rowdyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #21
22. I still hold a grudge against my 7th grade PE instructor
He was a bully and an asshole. Still "teaches" in northern Florida. I'm not the stalking type or I'd make his life hell (its been 35 years, he forgot me 34 years ago).
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 10:35 AM
Response to Original message
23. I presently hold only one grudge
And it's a very, very old one.
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Booberdawg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 10:36 AM
Response to Original message
24. Neither. I don't hold a grudge forever, but I don't necessarily forgive
either. I don't think they are mutually exclusive. There are some situations I certainly don't forget, and wouldn't set myself up for again, but that I'm not still holding a grudge years later over.
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bearfan454 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 10:37 AM
Response to Original message
25. Once somebody is on my shitlist, they are on it forever.
But it takes a lot to get on my shitlist. There is only one person on it right now, and they are not on DU.
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ohiosmith Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 03:49 PM
Response to Original message
26. Never forget. Never forgive.
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Shanty Oilish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-19-03 04:00 PM
Response to Original message
27. I never carry what I never use
Resentment is ice on one's wings :)
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