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My store has a Price Match Guarantee. It's pretty simple, really: if you find a price in the local area on a like product that's lower than our price on the day you purchase the item, we will match the price plus give you an additional ten percent off. Most retailers do.
Please note the "day you purchased the item" caveat, for it is important to our tale.
Today's candidate for retail immortality called the store at 8am. He had purchased enough 2x4s, 4x4s and pickets to build 75 feet of fence--on Friday afternoon. Then he went home and built the fence. This morning he was picking something up at Lowe's and found out that they have 2x4s for 45 cents less than he bought mine at, and 4x4s for 75 cents less. (We're not talking a huge amount of lumber--eleven 4x4s, 30 2x4s and about 165 pickets. We put that much wood in compact pickups all the time.) So he called us to ask if we'd price-match Lowe's. No, we don't have that policy.
Then he told me that he was going to take his whole fence down, return all the lumber to the store, and purchase new lumber which we'd price match. I told him very clearly that he should not do that as we do not accept returns on used lumber. He hung up on me. Loudly.
Three hours later, here comes this fucking guy with this load of tore-up lumber. He even brought the pickets because I have them at 99 cents this week and they were $1.59 last week. And better: he couldn't dig the posts up, so he cut them off at ground level with a chain saw.
The cashier told him we wouldn't take it back. He screamed for "someone who knows what he's talking about." (The cashier was a real petite young lady who's worked for us for...oh, about three weeks.)
I went up there and told the guy we wouldn't take it back. Now he's screaming so loud the people at Target can hear him; he wants the store manager "right fucking now." I went to get him. I told him the deal. He told me no one in their right mind would ever do that...
welcome to Fayetteville, man; never accuse anyone in this rathole of being in their right mind. I KNOW it's something in the water--Fayetteville has the third-worst APFO-in-groundwater problem in the world, the sixth-worst glyphosate-in-groundwater problem and a severe petroleum-in-groundwater problem.
The boss told him to go home and take his fence with him.
The customer informed the boss that he needed new 4x4s because all the old ones were too short; the boss sent him to Lowe's because "we're out." (Well, for this guy we were out; I only have about 40 bunks of them, but they're all reserved for people who won't saw them off at ground level with a chainsaw the week after they get them.)
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