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What can Fox "News" do to boost falling ratings?

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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 08:34 AM
Original message
Poll question: What can Fox "News" do to boost falling ratings?
Fox "News" recently reported a sharp decline in viewers since a year ago. What can they do to reverse this trend.
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 08:36 AM
Response to Original message
1. Release venomous snakes into their studios.
Wait, are snakes cannibals? This might not work as planned... :D
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 08:38 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. But, their studio is not on an airplane.
:shrug:
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 08:42 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. True, but we could always just lock the doors.
Same effect.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 08:41 AM
Response to Original message
3. Vote their talking heads of off the channel. Survivor-style.
Edited on Thu Aug-31-06 08:42 AM by philosophie_en_rose
Losers are sent to the empty and hostile environment of "Personal Responsibility" island, where they will no doubt turn abject poverty into coconut mansions. Because they can live without taxes and government assistance.
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MrCoffee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 09:14 AM
Response to Original message
5. I would actually watch Redd Foxx News...if only to see
Hannity give O'Reily one across the lip, ya big dummy.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 09:27 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. I could take Brit Hume's face...
...stick it in dough and make some gorilla cookies.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
7. Guess the gender with host Ann Coulter.
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Benfea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 10:42 AM
Response to Original message
8. Give Ann Coulter her own show! ;) -NT
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RedStateShame Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
9. Where's the "abduct blonde co-eds themselves" option?
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 11:17 AM
Response to Original message
10. Have them admit they killed JonBenet
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
11. Sacrifice one Fox anchor live on the air every Monday.
They could change the method each time -- push them into a volcano, smear them with butter and release a swarm of angry, starving weasels, have Dick Cheney go hunting with them, whatever ...
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
12. Explain why Bush's painful stupidity is Clinton's fault.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
13. I vote for NRA Teddy
He could start with Hannity, followed by O'Reilly.
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 02:26 PM
Response to Original message
14. Hot news anchor babes in lingerie.
Edited on Thu Aug-31-06 02:26 PM by Radical Activist
We know they have attractive women read the news to increase ratings. Why not just be honest about it and go all out? They could have buff men in undies as well to attract the women and repressed homosexual conservative men. Its not like they have any integrity to sacrifice.
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evirus Donating Member (782 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-01-06 08:27 AM
Response to Reply #14
22. compliment with progressive nudity
so long as its not ann coulter, have them take off articles of clothing through out the show, give the people to look foward to
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-01-06 10:39 AM
Response to Reply #22
23. except for o'reilly
he'll put more clothes on for ratings.
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NYCGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
15. TAKE BACK RITA COSBY!! NT
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 03:39 PM
Response to Original message
16. Have Jack Bauer torture the news & weather out of them each night.
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Initech Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 03:42 PM
Response to Original message
17. Other: Each week, they sacrifice one of their journalists to the dark lord
That'd be just about the only way to get me to watch that piece of shit network.
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 03:44 PM
Response to Original message
18. They could offer a cash prize for the first person to catch them
telling a lie. (Wait, maybe it would be cheaper if they gave the prize to the first person whe detected a truth...)
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-31-06 03:55 PM
Response to Original message
19. three words:
Marge....Simpson's.....CLEAVAGE!
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-01-06 08:01 AM
Response to Original message
20. Coming up next on Fox...
...it's "Ye-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-ah!" with Howard Dean.
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Burma Jones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-01-06 08:06 AM
Response to Original message
21. Live Executions
Bring Back Drawing and Quartering
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:00 AM
Response to Original message
24. Live execution of an Abu Ghraib detainee each day
:sarcasm:
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