When Insults Had Class...

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have r ead many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." -- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend...if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." -- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work - he overcame them." -- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature, in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any addre ss on it?" -- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others - whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support, rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder

These are wonderful!

Thanks for posting them, sweetie....... :hug:

:hi:

Here's a Dorothy Parker for you!

I love to drink martinis,
Two at the very most,
Three, I'm under the table,
Four, I'm under the host!

:hug:

a medley of extemporania
and love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Rumania"

:D

:rofl: :thumbsup:

I love it.......and you, baby!

:spray:

:loveya:

:hug:

This thread is making my night.:rofl: :loveya:

:-)

:toast: :pals:

I was thinking the same thing. :-)

"If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised."

"This is not a book that should be tossed lightly aside. It should be hurled with great force."

"That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them."

:spray: :thumbsup: :rofl:

The second one, especially. :D

:-)

I bought this book compiled by Wayne F. Hill and Cynthia J. Ottchen some years ago. These two archivists were very thorough in their gleaning of insults from Shakespeare's plays. OK, these really got me!


"What shall I call thee when thou art a man?"- As You Like It
"Well said! That was laid on with a trowel."
"It grows something stale with me."
"I do desire we may be better strangers."
"I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore tremble and depart."

"I think thou art an ass."- Comedy of Errors

"You arrant, malmsey-nosed knave!"- Henry IV, Part 2
"You scullion! You rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe!"
"You blunt monster with uncounted heads!"
"You whoreson upright rabbit!"

:loveya: :pals: :yourock: :applause: :rofl:

now that's what i'm talking about cause when 'the bard' told your dumb-ass off you were doing timely-well to have considered yourself properly served indeed

:rofl: :bounce: :spank: O8) :loveya: :hippie: :yourock: :toast:

Oh, I am so bookmarking this thread!!!

"Properly served, indeed!":rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :spray: :loveya: :hug: :smoke: :toast:

"She's too hard for you at pricks, sir. Challenge her to bowl."
"I fear too much rubbing."

-Love's Labour's Lost

:-)

Lady Nancy Astor: If you were my husband, Winston, I'd poison your coffee.
Churchill: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.



Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning I shall be sober.


Although, I believe both of those may be anecdotal

:spray: :thumbsup:

Thanks for the laugh, badly needed...

:rofl: :hi:

:applause:

:hi: :hi: :hi: :bounce:

:bounce: :hi:

and we can't wait for a bit of a chill :pals:

:rofl: :hi:

"it's better than it sounds."

makes you wonder too :rofl:

:eyes:

Sorry, mods. Irresistable opportunity.

:P

:rofl:

What the fuck? That entire thread was fucking ridiculous. Issues, all of them.

:eyes:

;-)

;)

:-)

:D

:rofl: ;)

thanks!

:rofl: