Totally Depressed

Lost my job two weeks ago. Still not sure why. Every day I wake up and having nowhere to be and nobody to report to makes me feel irrelevant and depressed. I don't do well w/ "no structure". Applying to jobs online is fruitless and even more depressing. In the morning I apply to maybe three jobs and then crawl back into bed. I feel constant anxiety. I know this will pass right? But it's not passing right now. The only thing I look forward to is 5 o'clock when it's socially acceptable to have a drink. Or more. Thanks for listening.

I had a meltdown over a series of weeks after I lost my job. I swear, every detail you say was true for me as well. I was couchbound a lot and I gained weight. I know how you feel. Can I tell you what helped me- getting OUT of the house. PLEASE do something that'll physically work you, because moving around will save you. I even started swimming, and I lost weight, the panic attacks stopped and I could think clearly again. I'd also not been eating a lot, but have started to eat properly again.

That makes an amazing difference, too. This is going to pass, although I know you feel like hell right now.

:pals: :pals: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

panic attacks. :hug: :pals: You did what you needed to do! Just wanted to say I'm sorry that happened to you.

of it, just to remind myself that you can be really low but that things can change. Swimming means the world to me now. I'd get up early and have my swimsuit hung over my towel until it became a reflex for me to put it on first thing in the morning, post a little message to bridgit or something while I drank my coffee, put on shorts & sandals and head out the door.

That scene looked impossible for me for about a month. It was hard to do anything at all, so I stuck myself in front of the tube or computer.

You are so kind to be responding to me and to Jack. :hug: :grouphug: :pals: :loveya: :yourock:

...I'm sorry. :hug: Sug's right---getting out of the house for whatever reason will help you a lot. I don't have any other words of wisdom, just empathy. :pals:

* Take out the trash EVERY day, no matter how full it is. It looks like a waste of trash bags, but it's helpful

* Buy extra lightbulbs and lights so if one blows out you won't just leave it there & sit in the dark.

* Make your bed every day so you won't be tempted back into it.

* When you go to the store, don't stock up like I did as though you'll be in hermitage. Buy only a little at a time so the things will be fresh, and you'll make more trips.

* Realize that what you may see as major fuckups authored by you are so much more easily forgiven by others. How many times do you see a friend bash his head against a wall about his own mistakes when you think it's no big deal.

:)

... in the grieving stage. You'll get past this in a few days or at most a couple weeks.

There is nothing wrong with feeling depressed, anyone in your situation would. Don't worry that it will be permanent, because the mind, like the body, is able to heal itself.

I've been unemployed for a very long time now. It's up and down, but basically at some point you just do whatever you can to find a job and that's all you can do!

Once you are in a funk, it is tough to get out of it. You have received a lot of go advice so far-- you have to force yourself to move. Get out of the house, exercise, do anything so that you are not sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.

I actually ended up seeing my Dr. and getting some medication so that I could function and feel like a normal person again. I am horrible with no structure, also -- I absolutely hate it.

If exercise and getting out of the house don't help you, please go and see your doctor. There is nothing to be ashamed about needing a little help.

Best of luck to you and keep us posted.

Always have. Still forcing myself to do it. So maybe I'll go to the gym from 9:30 - 11:30. Then home by 11:45 until...5:00 when I start feeling normal again. I fucking hate it but I do appreciate the words of encouragement.

Trust me.

Redstone

as opposed to losing them, there is a large feeling of dislocation. I do understand.

Hang in there. It will get better.

Redstone

i live in a twilight world nowadays, sometime i feel like i have lost everything, because my self-respect has seemed to eroded to a nub.

i often feel like i am losing the will to live.

not having any job to go to, no energy, beyond the worst parts of depression where you simply do not feel anymore: i have completely shut down to alleviate much of the pain.

alcohol stopped working.

i was always one of those take charge kind of guys, someone who would beat the streets to find something.

now i live in a semi-rural location in texas. no sidewalks, no pedestrian scale, just a high speed 4 lane U.S. highway.

i've always taken buses and trains, but no public transit, have never owned a car, don't own one now in a place where having one is essential to survival. no money to buy one. i am completely broke and living off the very thin beneficence of family members. sometimes i try to walk, but it's really hot, dangerous and hell-raising to get down that highway.

got a bike. try and use that too.

sometimes it seems way too hopeless. i have no idea what i can do next.

get back to work as soon as you can. maintain your relationships with whatever contacts you have.

not to have any motivating surroundings for getting out. My neighboorhood is v. dangerous, and I can't just stroll around either. I am glad you have a bike.

I am so sorry you're going through this. So very sorry. :hug:

it's the first time in my life where i can't seem to find a solution.

and i've beat lots of shit in my life at various times.

"perspective" movies like Schindler's List, or something totally stupid instead.

But sometimes you feel like you really are in hell, and nothing anyone says can make a difference. My BEST FRIEND (and I'm so lucky to have her) was talking to me about getting out of the house. But it sounded like it was muted to me, and I couldn't react to her as I would if I'd been "all there".

the colors are dull, the imagination is slipping, it's like looking out at a congealed world, no separation.

my human will is not sufficient at times.

that vertiginous feeling one gets from an ear infection. i dunno.

:hug:

And I was really freaked out and depressed for like, 6 months, then I got a new job that totally beats the crap out of the old job hands down.

Pays way better, the people are cooler, the projects are more interesting, the city I live in is INFINITELY better...

So it's okay to be depressed, but it does get better. :pals:

How strange it feels to have BOTH fear & depression, I remember having times where I'd have to unclench my jaw because I'd been clenching it & having no idea, but then being despondent enough to not seem to get off the couch.

It happened to me 3 years ago. It was horrible. Took me more than a year to find a job. Now it all seems like a bad dream.

Can you find a support group? My church had an unemployment support group at the time, because a number of us were out of work. It was a lifesaver.

Nobody except someone going through the same thing can really understand what you're going through. You can really help each other, provide moral support, etc. Maybe there are other unemployed people hanging out at your public library who would join a group.

Good luck!

:hug:

It helped me a lot.

Oh, and start drinking at 4:00. That helped too. :toast:

I dunno. Seems like you really are depressed. Here's a :hug: for you. Hope you find your job and your purpose again.

I went through the same thing a while back, I got laid off and was depressed as hell. Wish I could offer some good advice, but my life pretty much sucked for a while.

The only thing I can offer is get yourself into a routine. Looking for work is now your full time job. Spend eight hours a day on it. Easier said than done, believe me I know, especially when all you want to do is crawl back into bed, but the harder you work at finding a job the faster you'll find one. Apply to jobs you don't want, go to the interviews for practice. Exercise, even if it's only going for a walk, hell take up running, it's a cheap sport and trust me you'll feel better, and have more energy.

Socialize as much as you can. Other people will help keep you on track even when you don't want to be.

Good luck.

Hey on the plus side now you have more time to spend on DU! ;-)

I Ching. And all of that shit.

:smoke:

I had to quit my job about 2 years ago. I do have a baby at home to take care of, so that keeps me going, and I'm lucky we are managing. But I sometimes feel detached from the grownup world. I felt awful in the beginning. Some days I watch entirely too much TV. But it is only temporary, thigns will get better.

I wish I could be of more help to you.

The beginning of what? ;(

not working, or contributing...and there were some other sad circumstances. Now that I think of it, there was a lot that was good about it. I sent you a pm BTW.

:)

That pisses me off. :grr:

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time of it. :hug:

What kind of work are you looking for? Maybe there are folks here who could steer you in the right direction. The one good thing about losing a position is it leaves you open to find something better. :hug::beer::hug:

can't people be professional and provide an explanation? Perhaps they are cowardly.

That sorta thing. Thx for your kind words - believe me it still pisses me off. My "bosses" hid behind HR and let THEM fire me.

branching out, trying something different? You can use communications and PR in many different job fields.

...when I found myself "between jobs," I worked for a temp agency. On my 2nd assignment, I ended-up being offered a permanent position after just 2 weeks. If nothing else, it will get you out and about...and keeping busy always helps me when I'm down.

Here is a hug for you...:hug: