I have a question about Father-Daughter relationships

My father died when I was a child, so I don't know how I would have interacted with my father as a teenager or adult.

So...this is the question...

Do you think it is odd to have a father hold the hand of his teenage daughter as he walks, or for him to hold her around the waist ...as a boyfriend might ...as they walk around?

Is it normal for a man to have his daughter sit in the front seat of the car instead of the backseat and yet have his wife in the backseat???

I have a coworker that does this stuff with his daughter...and a lot of the women in the office find it creepy and strange...one woman told me that she can't find words for it but she thinks the body language is a bit "off"...

I kind of think it is too...but since I did not grow up with a father...I don't know if it might be normal....some families are a bit closer and more huggy than mine...

but why the hell would it be weird for her to sit in the front seat of the car with him? If it was me and my dad in the car, I'd sit up front. I sit up front when I'm riding with just my stepdad, too.

wife sit in the back....

The only time I sit up front and my mom's in the back is if I'm giving directions. My mom couldn't find her way out of a paper bag and it's just easier to navigate from the front.

and this guy was there...and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt...but I am starting to think that my first impression...and that of the other women is that something strange is at work in that family dynamic.

Reminds me of the billionaire in FL that had a real marriage and a fake marriage with his daughter.

If we were going on a long trip and my 6'2" brother wasn't with us.

But my dad doesn't put his arm around my waist, nor does he ever hold my hand. He hugs me, and sometimes grabs my knee affectionately if I am sitting next to him, but that's it.

My mom didn't think he was demonstrative enough about his affection, but then again, her father used to drop orange peels down her shirt every night before she went to bed when she was a teenager. I love my grandpa, but that's f-ing weird.

and then popping his dentures out at me as a joke....

(remembering this makes me laugh)....

I was a "late life" baby...and so my father a WWII vet was old enough to be my grandfather...

This from a dad with an adult daughter. That stuff is definitely abnormal.

and sometimes avoids it, but it's his way of making contact since she'd rather he didn't hug her. But if he put me in the back of his shitmobile and had her in the front, even in the middle of my marital disaster, I'd wonder what was up.

I find it surprising that the daughter does not twist away, due to the embarrassment of having affectionate parents. But for a father to be physically affectionate, no. Maybe it's my own touch-y european-ish upbringing...

but most of our touchy stuff was hugging till you burst and loads of kisses on both cheeks...

the latest thing that set off my radar was the way his wife was looking at him....I sensed that she doesn't like this situation....

But I do wonder why the wife looked pissed off; could have been a million things. I would say to reserve judgment until you have more info, but hey, I'm not the one seeing this stuff with my own eyes...

on edit: I prefer to be in the backseat myself, and would not be pissed off if my child took the front. That way, *I* get to stretch out...

But it was affectionate touching (hugs, etc.), not romantic/'relationship-type touching... which is what this situation LOOKS like.

All I can say is that my father still holds my hand (now for support while walking lol) On the other hand, he never put his arm around my waist, though my female relatives have and do. I guess i just don't want to jump to judgment, but I'm not seeing this with my own eyes...

...that way, I don't get motion-sickness (usually).

Holding hands...not so weird. The waist part...sounds strange to me. Are they from another culture?

a mix nationalities but all born here...

I never really worked with this guy much but he apparently has other older daughters and a lot of people have said that he is just as creepy with them as with the one I saw him with...

The girls are all older...late teens to mid twenties...

stayed out of each other's "space". She's my fishing buddy and we have always been very close. She's 41 now, well adjusted and a successful lawyer,but I'm the dad and she's the daughter. I'm very proud of her (if you couldn't tell).

up a family relationships is. Maybe (and this is just hypothetical) he almost lost her once (i.e. sickness) and is therefore "hanging on"... Maybe the family unit is very close. My brothers and I were really close to my dad. He was basically all we had. I often "hung on" to him as a teenager. He made sense of the crazy world for me. As for the Mom, well my mom hates the fact that my dad got along with us three kids better than she. But that's because he was there.

I guess, if it were me, I wouldn't be so quick to judge because I don't know the backstory. :hi:

it is just strange and since so many people at work have commented on it...I figured I would ask..

:hi:

my opinion is all. :hi:

:-)

My parents were born and raised in Italy, and I was born and raised in a very culturally Italian district of San Francisco. It's not unusual for my Dad and my brothers to kiss me quickly on the lips, and papa and the boys worship, care for and protect my mum and me in ways not common to American culture.

volumes about the quality of his marriage. He sounds like an asshole to me. No, wait, he sounds like Woody Allen to me. Oh well, the heart wants what it wants... :puke:

this question. My Mom: I would have had a talk with your father. If he didn't stop, I would have left him. My sister (who has a 14-0year-old daughter): Whaaaaa? Who the heck does THAT???

Me: I would have freaked if my Dad had tried any of that.

nothing major. He has reached for my hand as a reassuring gesture when times have been tough for me. I never took it as sexual aggression or anything like that. My Dad still kisses me good bye when I leave after visiting. As does my Mother. I think in some cases it may be strange. But in my case that is about as physical as my parents get in terms of touchy feely stuff. I have sat in the front while my mom sits in the back as well. I am almost 5 foot 9. My mom and dad don't even reach 5 foot 4. At times the back seat is very cramped in a car made for shorter people. Just a different perspective on things. I think if the kids feel uncomfortable then it should be discussed. If its sexual in nature obviously it needs to be swiftly and legally stopped. But I don't think all cases of public affection between a man and his daughter are sexual or passive sexual aggression.

I think that more than anything would tell you if there is something strange about it.

I can think of many times my daugher has put her arm around my waist - and vice versa.

The hand holding, not so much.

But I wouldn't think anything strange of it unless the daughter seems uncomfortable or trying to pull away. I don't think that teenagers who are being abused WANT to walk around holding their father's hand in public.

I once had a crush on a man that disappeared the INSTANT I saw him put his arm around his teenage daughter's waist and rub his hand up and down around her hip bone. :puke:

I tell women friends to trust their internal "creep detectors." I don't know about this particular man, but in two other cases, men who set off my creep detector turned out to be incest perpetrators.

and a daddy's girl. We've always been close, and since I only get to see him once a month or so, if we're out together doing something when I'm home, I hold his hand sometimes (I initiate it, though). Not so much with the arm-around-the-waist stuff, though.

She's a daddy's girl that one.

I'll hit you with a very obvious clue stick: she sits in the front seat so she can play the music she likes on the radio. D'uh.

Trust your gut. That kind of creepy shit is more widespread than many of us would like to believe.