What strategy are you using to try to get your candidate elected?

We got darn sick of losing every two years to the Republicans so we threw caution to the wind this year and decided to run a campaign based on humor. (A Democrat has never won in this district for state rep, never)
Here is an exceprt from our candidate's random thoughts web page. We also run these "thoughts" in the local paper each week. The really funny thing is is that we are getting a great response to this angle as opposed to the pic of the candidate with his family and saying he is pro education. Enjoy!


i don't consume anything that has the words lite or lo-cal on the label (esp. beer)

i can pass a squirt test

laurie and I celebrated our 30th anniversary last april

i do not have a record (nor do i sing in public)

breakfasts should consist of strips of fried swine flank and cooked chicken embryos

i have pulled calves that were drowning in waste deep yuck to safety

i have pulled week old after-birth out of cows

i have squirted milk directly from a cows udder into my coffee

i get the hives in churches (but i think they have neat windows)

gun control means hitting your target

we have two daughters. both have college degrees

i'm in favor of more education...without it there would be more right-wingers in our society

i do not receive welfare, disability, or a pension

some of my teeth have not been capped

i have never had an extra-marital affair.

my wife has a dishwasher.........me

i kant spel or tipe varie guud

my zipper is not rusty nor are my sneakers yellow

i do most of the cooking

i tie my own flies

the worst years of my life were the second grade....but they are behind me now

i can smash a windshield with my face

i still have, and wear a sport coat I bought in high school

i cannot stop a table saw blade with my thumb (took two tries at it though)


i hate the shift key

shoes should be an option, not required dresswear.

i oppose blaze orange....u should be able to feel safe wearing buckskins and waving white gloves in the woods during november

i enjoy teaching the art of tying and casting to kids and woman (men are a pain cuzz they already know everything)

i am not opposed to same sex marriage unless it was mine

women have the right to chose and it shall remain that way

spousal abuse is intolerable

child abuse is worse

i reload my own ammo

civility in this country ended with the outlawing of public duels

i don't listen to country

i make a fine looking clap-board with chainsaws

the black fly should be the maine state bird

there is no excuse for a bad comb-over

i have hammertoe, or they have been hammered…not sure which?

we have poor luck growing corn in the garden, but the one in my foot is growing nicely

most of my family are conservatives…….i’ve learned from their mistakes

global warming is a fact

so is evolution

corporate welfare is wrong

***left out a word in the title..