What would you do if your teen just got into an accident?

I often don't agree or follow DU recommendations, but I appreciate the diverse inputs.

So my teen almost totalled her car. As I reconstruct the accident, I'm not sure I would have avoided it. Two phone company vehicles were working and she tried to ease past them to see, she hit a sanitary truck instead. She called me after making sure all were not hurt and giving her information to the fellow drivers.

I can tell you a million ways to avoid this accident but I'm not sure I would have done so. She made mistakes but I think many of us would have done so. I'm proud that her first response was to see if anyone was hurt, give her information, and just deal with the consequences.

So, what should the consequences be?? I just got off the phone with insurance and our rates will increase very, very slightly. Her car repairs are covered.

I don't think she did anything wrong. A more experienced driver would have chosen to avoid the situation, maybe, but I doubt many would.

And tell her how glad you are she's OK.
She doesn't have a lot of experience to draw on about unusual driving situations.
Just be glad she's OK and tell her you love her.

many times. I'm over my initial panic after her phone call. My first response was to see if she was OK and then to make sure all the others involved were OK. Noone was hurt, thankfully.

Doesn't sound like any "punishment" is called for.
Call it a learning experience.

I've gotten too much advice on what the consequences should be. I've imposed none. I, and my husband, have just looked at it as an unfortunate accident. We are not happy about it, and she has to sit on the phone with insurance, but it happens. I've totalled a couple of cars and my husband has also. It happens.

i don't understand what else is needed, even experienced drivers make mistakes and get into accidents, and a new driver is GOING to make mistakes, just be glad no one was hurt

all punishment would do is make her nervous and set up a situation where more accidents are likely because of the additional unrealistic expectations

they call them accidents for a reason, right?

You know your daughter. She'll learn with time behind the wheel. In the meantime, have her help deal with all the paperwork and insurance details. It will help her understand what to do if she's ever in a situation again, even if it's not her fault.

She seems to be mature, compassionate and able to keep her wits about her. :hug: her lots.

Seems like the phone company would have some responsibility also. :shrug:

In the end, the workers would face much more severe consequences than my daughter. We could have argued that one and fought responsibility. We may have won. We chose not to because we knew the repercussions were much more severe for them. I don't think this accident was anyone's fault. It's just an unfortunate accident that happens when you drive.

IMO, it's just a car, and she's ok. I'd chalk it up to a learning experience.

I can't replace a daughter.

...she's already learned from her accident. Most of us have been there...it's all part of growing up. Just make sure she has the tools she needs to avoid other ones. If you do think more defensive driving is needed then drive with her or have somebody else spend some driving hours with her. But, from what you've said, it sounds like a rather freak accident...and, I'm sure it won't happen again any time soon! :hug:

I say that it's an accident that you could have gotten into. If you had, would you want your mom showing up and punishing you?

I wouldn't.

just have her pay the deductible and insurance increase. Not as a punishment, but as a consequence -- you drive, you accept the risk of getting into an accident and having to pay for repairs.

She shouldn't be punished for her inexperience, though, especially if it's a mistake that you say you might have made. Sounds like it was a split-second decision in an emergency, and not due to her not paying attention, taking on her cell phone, eating, etc.

Kids can't. :hug: How scary.

It was a similar situation - something that was not my fault but that a more experienced driver might have been able to avoid.

I was really embarrassed and upset about it. My parents didn't blame me or punish me, but made me help with the process of getting the car repaired, reporting it to the insurance co., etc.

The whole experience made me a more careful driver. I think my parents' reaction was fair and reasonable. If they had enacted other "consequences" I think it would have added to my stress about the accident, and I would have been resentful and angry with them, instead of thinking about how I could be safer the next time.

My advice: don't punish her, but let her experience the natural consequences of an accident, maybe up to helping pay for the increased premium.