Ever sit up after everyone is all asleep, all the shit wrapped and

placed. Everything all together, primed, prepped and ready for the morning. Just you and a refreshing beverage, perhaps a pill or two. The dog's head on your lap and a cat asleep on your foot.
Just sit there and wonder, "What the fuck?"
Why do we do this to ourselves, and what does it say about us? Who needs all this shit?

Merry Christmas to all that participate.

Do I have a life? No! I used to have a life when I was well. Tonight, uh, this morning I sit here posting on DU. Presents are under the tree, husband is fast asleep. But, in an odd way, I like it. It's quiet and my cats and I are doing fine.

Happy Holidays to all!

It is not easy, and there will be BIG nasty ugliness in doing it, but we can't keep on like this.

I just don't see how we can maintain all the shit we have and still go forward.

I got a few sweat shop manufactured goods tonite (we unwrap on eve). The stuff I get looks nice, its comfortable. But I sit here in my thermostat room, on my fancy computer next to my cable to which is next to my drumset and my bookshelf.... at a time like this it makes me think of the life of who made the clothes I recieved. Or people who are way worse off than I, but work so much harder.

Life is so sad sometimes. I hate myself for being comfortable. :(

I agree consumerism is a huge problem, btw.

I got one really nice present this year, first thing I opened. I felt so bad after that I wish my other presents would just disappear.

without exception.

-LK

I'm at low point in my finances right now. As in, "dead broke". I had $80 to spend on Xmas crap. Yes, I'm a computer programmer. Or rather, I was a computer programmer. In two years, I made over 1000 job contacts and got exactly seven weeks of work. So right now, I am bushed.

There's really only one word for what I have been feeling: humiliation. There are times I would prefer to hide where no one could find me, and live entirely within myself. I'm almost at that point now, but it doesn't work as well as I thought it would.

I would surely love to buy expensive gifts for everybody in my family, but that's impossible. I ended up buying things I thought would be needed and/or enjoyed. Given a $80 budget, I think I did fairly well. But still, but still ...

Christmas has become an almost completely internal thing for me. Music and lights, lights and music. Haven't been to a party in years. Don't have kids -- fortunately, given current circumstances. (I'd love to have kids, but in spite of being a godless, wicked Libbrul, I still think of being married to someone of a similar mind as a necessary pre-condition.)

"Remember the Reason for the Season" says the announcer in the ad they play once an hour on the Christmas Music radio station. "The birth of Jesus Christ." I don't blame Jesus, not one little bit. The moneychangers came back to the temple, and their American franchise is the biggest and most successful.

Congress adjourned without passing an unemployment extention. It won't affect me, but it will affect millions of people who have been rendered uncompetitive by Enronomics. Merry Christmas from those devout Christians who are now the Masters of the Universe.

But still ... this is a temporary thing. The greatest gift of all -- after our own lives -- is The Future. I've always felt that my personal existence was an amazingly good fluke of nature. But it's the fact that existence itself will continue, even after mine has ceased, that really astounds me. It's like Santa Claus' sack of "toys" was the real cause of the Big Bang.

So it really isn't all that bad. This year, I'm going to make the effort to observe Kwanzaa. After all the rightist bitching and moaning about how it's just A Black Thing and it's Politically Correct, a week-long holiday based around affirming the positive things in life without spending a ton of money impresses me as being ... necessary.

--bkl

we disagree in minute, but I have had many engaging conversations with you. I hope you realize it is not your fault you aren't getting job, it is the affect of a premature and business-oriented free market, and the impact it has had on the workers such as you.

I've offered this once before tonite, but if you want a sub 25$ gift exchange buddy next year, I am totally with you. I only wish I could brighten your spirits from here in NEPA, but I fear I cannot.

I wish you the best man. Merry X-mas, I am with you in spirit. Things will pick up.

I was lucky. I took a hit early in the slump, and gave up. Went back to school and graduate in June to a different field... health care.
I know your pain.
Had 4 jobs in 3 years, with two of them going bankrupt and owing me money I will never see.
Growth industry of the century, my ass.
It has been a tough three years, but it is almost over, and I will have a paycheck again soon.

I wish I could do it. There is so much money and there are plenty of not-so-expensive Colleges around here with nursing programs around here.

Fact is... I pass out when I give blood. The first time, I store at the vial as it filled, and passed out. 2nd and 3rd I just passed out. I love helping people, but I can't stomache it. Right now I am History, but have been thinking of Veterinarian.

Good luck in your future, man.

If you're serious about getting into the veterinary field and want advice, feel free to contact me privately. I went into vet med as a second career - maybe I can help in some way? Take it easy and have a peaceful weekend.