How often do you fart?

when I read the header!

who could fart on demand. One time he let one rip as he was hanging over the bar high jumping (Fosberry flop)

er uh wait a minute.

Robb is a bingbat, sounds very musical...
and goes well with the tooting and pooting!

...it wasn't me, it was the dog. ;)

:shrug: just wondering....

p.s. you need a TOON break... latest edition (posted today) is linked below

I ripped one so loud my cat ran out from under the covers and down the hall. He didn't look at me all day.

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

It's the funniest thing!

GAWD we're a sick bunch!

is in the bathtub when the bubbles break surface. As a yute, I used to light 'em on my hands and knees 'til one day I burned my underwear.

Quote by my Dad: "A silent fart is like a joke without a punchline."

Going to the bathroom is a joy (not a struggle). Ya gotta keep the insides cleaned out and that includes farting.

And I have earned the title!

And here's a cool site to help pass the time while you, er, you know...
http://users.utu.fi/snapir/fart/

Did this really come from the Merck Manual--

"This symptom, which can cause great psychosocial distress, is unofficially described according to its salient characteristics:

The "slider" (crowded elevator type), which is released slowly and noiselessly, sometimes with devastating effect;

The open sphincter, or "pooh" type, which is said to be of higher temperature and more aromatic;

The staccato or drumbeat type, pleasantly passed in privacy; and

the "bark" type (described in a personal communication) is characterized by a sharp exclamatory eruption that effectively interrupts (and often concludes) conversation. Aromaticity is not a prominent feature.

Rarely, this usually distressing symptom has been turned to advantage, as with a Frenchman referred to as "Le Petomane," who became affluent as an effluent performer who played tunes with the gas from his rectum on the Moulin Rouge stage."

(blushing)

She thought that the cat crapped in the bed and tried to locate the source while half asleep. Man that was funny!

:D

But end up shitting your pants?


For a fun prank, next time you really have to fart in an elevator, just let it rip and blame it on a health problem.

If I'm ever in a elevator with Annthrax Coulter or some other repug asshole.

Sometimes I get painful gas that makes me feel deathly ill because I cannot get it out. I fart much less than I used to.

He was the creative director who hired me at this agency. All day he would walk around eating raw carrots, celery, etc.

He'd invite you into his office to discuss a project or come by your cube and invariably he let a few rip. He never said "excuse me" or even acknowledged that he just farted.

Then at a holiday party I did my impersonation of him and everyone laughed until they cried.

I smell a rat...

Laura

So deaf people can enjoy them too.

You know how when you're alone in an elevator and pop one, the car will suddenly stop to let someone else on? What you do then is say, "Gee, I think they must have just painted this elevator." Works every time! ;-)

You know the rest!

Just because that's all I got :evilgrin: