My AIR FRANCE experience in the Code Orange Age

(By the way, George Bush, John Ashcroft or any minions, if you're reading this, I still fart in your general direction, you cheetoh-eating, war-mongering, money-grubbing sons of a Walmart!)

Here's the update on our Air France Code Orange New Year's Eve flight.

After a less than wonderful visit with the inlaws (love the inlaws, but my husband had the flu, I got a cold, and we're California weather wimps, too soft for the Paris weather), we arrived at CDG 2 1/2 hours early, expecting big security, and we were right. All bags were hand searched in the check-in line. What impressed me, though, was that the searchers were these lovely, smiling young women in designer uniforms (I could do a chapter on the AF uniforms), who actually carefully tucked my stuff back into the suitcase before closing it. ("Vous etes tres gentiles")

When we made it to the ticket counter, we thought we were ok until the ticket guy said we had one too many bags, and we had to pay extra (120 Euros) for a bag. (We had exactly the same number of bags we had when we came in, so who knows why, it all seemed very capricious.) However, my lovely husband handled things calmly and politely pointed out the injustice of it all. After wrangling bags around to find the lightest one, moving a pair of scissors from this one to that to avoid carrying them on, and finally agreeing to part with the Euros, we were given our tickets. ("Merci, mais les regulations sont fous.")

It was not until we were on our way down the plane aisles that we saw we had been UPGRADED TO BUSINESS CLASS! Damn! Only in France, I swear to God, would some ticket guy feel sorry for you because you have to pay extra for your bags, and then give you an upgrade worth 10 times as much as the extra money forked out for the bag! We could NOT believe it! It was a very full flight and they had lots of big families on board, so they probably instructed ticket agents to upgrade some folks, and (I think) because we were pleasant throughtout the injustice of having to pay the big bucks, we were the lucky winners! I'm so glad my husband was in charge, because I usually get snippy in these situations. I am not fluent enough to be snippy in French, and undergo a personality change in this already polite language. So I stood by and smiled wanly, nodded and said merci on occasion, and moved the "scissos" around.

My wonder at the amazing meals, the reclining seats and the little gift pack, including warm socks, was increased by the fact that they offered little sanwiches and petits fours in a little buffet near the lavatories. Geez, I had no idea! We savored every minute, knowing that it will probably be a very long time before we ever fly business again, and we arrived home in a state of near-humaness, even after having my beloved seeds "seized" at customs. Yep. "Seized". Seems that packaged seed is no longer allowed in without a special form. I've never had trouble before, and have always claimed them, and if they are packaged, they're fine. Sigh...

So, in closing, I would like to tell George Bush to give me my *$#% pumpkin seeds back. And, by the way, I plan to breed a new variety of pumpkin called 'Orange Alert', and dedicate it to him. It will be a pumpkin with no seeds, no flesh, and will only fruit after liberal applications of a particular brand of fertilizer manufactured by subsidiaries of FOX News.

A+

I now know which airline I'll be flying the next time I scrape together enough devalued Dollars to make an escape.

their service always put US Airlines to shame.

puts our airlines to shame. They give you actual food. Earplugs, something to cover your eyes while you sleep, a notepad, for some reasons slipper socks. not to mention you have a shitload of choices for inflight movies and tv.

really great service. I wonder if they have cut back on their service any. I flew Alitalia to Rome in November and it was not as good as it used to be. Maybe it was just the flight and not the airlines, but I remember a much higher level of service.

Since most US carriers have quit in-flight food (you can buy a box lunch when you board) that sounds really cool.

Were the socks to replace the ones you soiled having to walk across their filthy carpet with your shoes in your hands like the TSA makes you do here?

I travelled to Hawai'i several years ago, and packaged plant products were cool, but "open" plants were not.

How about a variety of pumpkin that holds great promise, looks good all summer long, then one day you go out to garden and it's collapsed and putrid. Call it "The Bush Economic Miracle"

This pumpkin was huge! It smothered out all the other pumpkins, and it was getting bigger by the day! And then one day it just collapsed into a moldering, putrid mass. We had to carry it in shovels to the compost pile, and the smell stayed in my nostrils for several days. Ewwww.

ok, so that's two varieties, 'Bush Economic Miracle' and 'Code Orange'!

How about another, 'Little Flathead AWOL'? Guaranteed to mysteriously disappear after you've fed, trained and nurtured the vines for months?

Or 'Black Out', a cultivar of the famous 'Cheney's Promise', which not only falls off the vine before ripening, but is resistant to repeated questioning by Congressional investigators?

http://www.territorial-seed.com/testcat/vegetables/pumpkins/PU719.html

(white, of course)

even with your bad bag experience -- the french can really make you feel good!

nt

Not for the timid, or for anyone who is not completely aggressive.

The French are a wonderful mystery to me! So polite in so many ways, but then they surprise you, like when you try to drive, or, God forbid, park in Paris. I will one day have the personal triumph of driving in Paris, but not for a long time! Too scary!

Take that, you BFEE xenophobes!

Your journey sounded wonderful. Vive La France.

My Golden Rules for obtaining free upgrades:

1. Always be nice to the ticketing agent helping you.

2. Always line up behind somebody who isn't.

I succeeded only once and only on a Lufthansa Berlin-Frankfurt hop, but hey : I got seats originally booked for a federal minister and sat next to the former Minister of Defense, who turned out to be exactly the asshole, I thought him to be.

Never have I gotten an upgrade, but my husband, who is a nicer person in general, has been upgraded several times.

This was 11 years ago and I still remember how tight the security was. They conviscated sealed ever-ready batteries that I'd packed and detained me for almost an hour because, having just come through the ME and being alone and female, I guess I fit the profile for smuggling in something? At any rate, despite the extra scrutiny and inconvenience, they were always polite.

Much different from the horrendous treatment I received recently when I had to add a one way leg to Miami from Atlanta on a business trip via American Airlines recently. God, those Atlanta Hartzfield Airport staff are so damned obnoxious, it took every bit of self control I had not to haul off and smack them. I consider myself reasonably rational and can muster some patience when I absolutely have to. Heaven help the traveler who can not.

When I know I have to take my shoes off at the airport, my revenge is quite simple.

I never wear socks.

:evilgrin:

...or at least my feet are. After several hours doing the airport shuffle, my feet are nice and ripe. Just ask me to take off my shoes. You'll be sorry. :evilgrin:

on AF ... I had just walked up to the doorway to look out, and got invited in ... beautiful experience ... and the digital technology was a wonder to behold ...

I ended up writing to AF's head honcho to express my gratitude and compliment the pilots ... so courteous, so accomodating, so friendly, etc.

We flew over the general area where my Huguenot ancestor lived before emigrating c.1700.

Once in a life-time opportunity.
``````````````````````````````````

"carefully tucked my stuff back into the suitcase" -

the Europeans are civilized ... I've had US customs treat me like some outcast citizen, pulling all my dirty clothes, etc., out on their little work table, then walking away sneering at me ... the abuse we subject our own citizens to ... barbaric and unnecessary

on Air France, and had a perfectly wonderful experience. I loved the little open bar during the flights, the food was great, and United could take some lessons on how a crew should behave.
I just returned Tues. from 3 weeks in France. I can't imagine a greater Christmas.:party:

I haven't been to France since Jan. 2001, and it's driving me crazy! I have to content myself to catching the France 2 news every night at 6, enjoying my subscription to France Magazine...and buying only French wines (the Moët was great last PM! And on sale, probably because the idiots here are still boycotting French produits).

My wife and I have often talked about relocating there, but how in the hell do you get a job in Europe if you're not an EU citizen? Actually, I'm working on that - my BIL works for a big American pharm company that has subsidiaries in Europe. They're looking for a couple of Americans to take up posts overseas, so he's submitting my CV next week to the proper authorities. Fingers crossed!

New Year's Resolution #1 - I WILL get back to France this year (and with family in tow, if at all possible)!

for Best Airline. The staff was very courteous, the service was great and the food was out of this world. We flew sardine class (coach) and were served baked rack of lamb, fresh French bread and I can't remember what else. In an 8-hour flight they served us 4 times 2 meals and 2 snacks that could easily have served as meals.

Can't wait to see Orange Alert at my local county fair. Well done!

on a U.S. airline--at least not until I have enough frequent flyer miles for an upgrade to business class. They all seem to be in a competition to see who can provide the worst service.

If you fly to Asia, I heartily recommend ANA (All Nippon Airways). You get great leg room and the world's sweetest flight attendants. Japan Airlines' service is also excellent, but without the great leg room. If you're short, it's a tossup.

Singapore Airlines has a reputation for good service, but evidently, they've let it go to their head and have packed extra seats into coach so that even fairly small people of my acquaintance find it cramped.

I'll keep Air France in mind if I ever get another chance to go to Europe.

on just about any airline is so far superior to coach as to be frightening. My experience says that Lufthansa is far and away the best for flights to Europe, even better than AF. But my German is piss poor compared to my French, and since I look forward to getting in the foreign language groove on the flight itself, it's more fun on AF.

though they misplaced my luggage once when I was connecting through CDG on Tyrol for a flight into Stuttgart. The luggage arrived the next morning with apologies...and a basket of muffins!

A coworker of mine was sending a FedEx to one of our Canadian printers a few months ago, and the author's surname was "Seeds." Foolishly, she put the name in the declarations box on the shipping form (along with our other standard info), and the package was held up at customs, despite the declaration clearly stating "textbook cover proof."

The USDA has been heavily lobbied by agribiz and the consequent regulations have been a disaster. You can find more info at http://www.geocities.com/nowhitelist/

And speaking as a former airline employee I can assure you that your chance of being upgraded is improved if you are exceptionally nice to the ticket agent and you are immediately behind some asshole who was rude.

Is there any way you could work some of the genes from, say, a French heirloom pumpkin variety like Rouge Vif l'Etampes* into it, as an "in" joke?


*
http://seeds.thompson-morgan.com/us/es/product/968/1



I am waiting for the holiday report re: the Atlantic crossing from a friend who went to visit her in-laws-to-be in Nice this Christmas ... though she didn't fly Air France, so she may not have had as pleasant a trip!