Do you think jesus will get mad if

we open our christmas presents a day early?

It isn't kosher according to the Book of Rudolph!

The last thing I want is an angry diety on my back.

the kings did not actually arrive with the gifts until epiphany you know, we are already getting our gifts before the baby jesus as it is!

I think we'll chance it.

St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It's in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna fuck around?"
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

They were at the tee of a beautiful par 3, with a lake right in the middle of the fairway. Moses selects a 5 iron, tees-up his ball and swings. His ball sails very high and lands in the middle of the lake. He mutters to himself and tees-up a second ball, this time selecting a 4 iron. This shot was perfect; landing right in the middle of the green.

Jesus pauses for a moment to ponder his club selection. "Hmmmm..... Arnold Palmer would use this," he says as he picks up a 5 iron.

"But, Jesus. My 5 iron shot ended up in the lake. You should use a 4 iron!"

"Nope. Arnie would use a 5," insisted Jesus.

So, Jesus swings hard and alas his shot ends up in the middle of the lake too. Jesus strolls over to the lake and walks out on the water to retrieve his ball. As Jesus is walking on the water trying to locate his ball a foursome comes up to the tee, sees a man walking on the water and one of them exclaims, "Who does he think he is? Jesus Christ?"

"No," explains Moses, "He thinks he's Arnold Palmer."

He only wants you to open them on the specified day!

:evilgrin:


Anything else is a sin!



:rofl:

We have neighbors who are going to be raptured, I don't want to go anywhere they are.