Persons of DU: are any physical attributes in potential romantic partners dealbreakers?

Darn...I was going to make this a poll but my poll-making ability recently abandoned me and I haven't taken the few minutes necessary to buy my star back so, in the meantime, here's a multiple-choice:


a) I am male and, yes, some physical characters are real hang-ups for me

b) I am female and, yes, some physical characters are real hang-ups for me

c) I am male and, no, there's no particular physical character that makes or breaks it for me

d) I am female and, no, there's no particular physical character that makes or breaks it for me

e) All of the above

f) The ubiquitous Robb-dingbat theme


Actually, what got me thinking about this was the couple of threads extant related to cheating,that got me thinking about the man my wife messed around with -- the greasy little f*** was a foot shorter than me and, as a kind of cockeyed defense against what was happening, I didn't hesitate to refer to him as 'dwarf,' 'hobbit,' 'troll,' or whatever, especially when I talked to her. The reality is that I am not a proponent of shortism but, quite obviously, I'll not refuse to utter height-related slurs if I have cause to hate the slurree sufficiently...he deserved it, and he (and, arguably I, though I bet I would have gotten away with it for some very good reasons related to our situation) is just lucky I didn't literally kill him in the depths of my despair and anger. Anyway, that's what inspired me to think about my male friends over the years who've been shorter-than-average, including my lifelong best friend, and then about women (whether of petite or more Amazonian proportions), and then about some of the stuff I've seen on DU...

A woman's height sure doesn't matter to me. I've lately met a lot of women who're 5'10" to 6' tall, visitors and locals (mostly dancers, showgirls, etc...my 'working girl' friend, who left Vegas a while back, was a 5'10" blonde goddess), and there's no doubt that they're attractive, but so are the women I've met who were closer to 5' tall. I'm a foot and a half taller than some of these women, but it matters not a bit...if I find them attractive, I find them attractive, and I'm sure that any logistical obstacles that such a difference in height might present if I was to ever get intimate with them (in my experience, it's not been a problem and I highly doubt it ever would be) could be overcome with no effort at all. My romantic life -- limited though it may have been in terms of partners -- included a woman 5'10" tall, a woman 5' tall, and (my wife) a woman smack in the middle of that range. It just doesn't matter to me...neither does weight, although obviously extremes of weight bring in health-related concerns that are significant. When my wife put on weight, I sure didn't find her any less attractive, and when she took it off she didn't really become any more attractive, where it counts. Ditto hair color (maybe the Marilyn Monroe thing and an early-'80s infatuation with the likes of Morgan Fairchild helped me here, but if I had a choice I'd probably have designed my perfect woman with blonde hair years ago, with brunette or black hair -- Salma! -- in more recent years, and now I just don't care either way). Ditto skin color. Ditto eye color. Ditto everything external, really. Even the artificial components: I'm not in to piercing or tattoos, etc, and don't especially find them attractive, but I also don't find them inherently unattractive and they just wouldn't be a factor in determining whether I was interested in a woman. Same with breast implants, or whatever. Obviously some men differ with me on these points, just as some women do in analogous features of potential male partners (and, of course, the same is true in man-man and woman-woman romantic-sexual interactions, as well).

Shoot, I don't know...maybe I have no standards. :D

That might be true, actually...when I am working (to be honest, a lot of it boils down to girlwatching, at times) and tell my work partner "ooo...I like her...she's pretty" he'll respond "c'mon, you like them all, Elvis."

But I'm always surprised when, here on DU or out in the world, I hear people say that even things such as hair color (that can easily enough be changed, anyway, thanks to Miss Clairol) and even eye color can be a dealbreaker when it comes to relationships. Kinda reminds me of the character in the film Shallow Hal who broke up with a gorgeous young woman because her second toe was longer than her big toe...hey, it seems petty or trivial to many of us, perhaps, but if you really do have a phobic-type fixation on such a thing it's probably anything but. I guess I can't understand how such minor physical details could be so important, though. Skin color (abhorrent though it may be to me as a racially-prejudiced reaction, though if someone honestly cannot be with someone because of the color of their skin, well, at least they're being honest with themselves), height, and weight (and cup-size in women, I suppose) may be more widely understood as determinants of attraction, I guess, but some of the things that are turn-ons or turn-offs to people -- to the point at which they negate the possibility of being with someone -- seem kind of obscure, culturally speaking. Ear lobe size, for instance. :-)

Whatcha think?

I don't particularly care for blonds, but I am sure that were I in the market, I would date a man who was a funny geek like myself, no matter what the outside was like.

Not really, I guess, given that it's a recessive gene...I guess what's more interesting is how many blonde females are around, given the gene's real frequency. :-)

I don't know if there is a big discrepancy in the number of male and female naturual blondes.
There are a number of blonde men here in Wisconsin. Some of them have glowing white skin too. They aren't albino, just whiter than the typical person of European descent.

or at least most of them. Men still have resisted the bleached hair thing (for the most part).

if her breath stinks like an open grave, for one.

slipping a little FeBreeze in her drink...

every time they opened their mouth would not stop you from dating someone?

I like E as a choice!

:rofl:

Mostly because, in exams, when you saw it you knew it was always the right answer. :D

c) I am male and, no, there's no particular physical character that makes or breaks it for me

I can overlook a lot As long as she was a nice person.

Edited to add ..After all Who the hell am I to be so critical of someone Else's appearance.I sure as shit ain't no Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp.

I mean "yep" to the "I can overlook a lot as long as she was a nice person" part, not "yep" to the "ain't no Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp" part. :D

:headbang:

.. do not understand what makes a real relationship.


A relationship will never work if you do not have compatible personalities - which has nothing to do with looks. It's the inside that matters.

Human nature makes us see beauty first but we never know how beautiful a person is until we discover their soul.


"greasy little f*** " :D sounds like he deserved it.

But he'll get what's coming to him...already did, actually, and his life was already miserable long before we arrived on the scene. She got what was coming, too, I guess. Karma strikes again.

I like what you've written. This should have been a poll, really, so maybe people who'd recoil in horror at the sight of an errant hair or freckle could be more free to express themselves anonymously. :-)

don't seem to have mirrors in their homes.. if you know what I mean. :P


:hug:

Then I fell in love with a short blond guy who made me laugh more than anybody ever did before.
We're coming up to our 37th wedding anniversary and still madly in love.
Looks don't mean a thing after you get out of the teen years IMHO. It's personality all the way. :)

If I can't laugh with someone, then something is very wrong in the relationship.

of tall, blue-eyed men has gone on far too long!

I hereby announce my intent to campaign for equal rights for tall, blue-eyed men everywhere! No more shall we be content to remain the underclass!




It's the damned Beach Boys, I tell you, and all those blond surfer-dudes.







Well, I feel better now that I got that out of my system.

Congratulations on 37 years together...I'd say it's quite a feat, but it sounds like it was no feat of endurance at all but just a natural extension of your love for each other. I think your example gives a lot of us hope! :hug:

I think we all have an ideal we look for in a mate - but then the arrow hits us when we're least expecting it!

He is 6'4'' and 250 lbs. I didn't think that I would want a man that was almost a foot taller or who weighed over twice what I did. Shortly before I started dating him, I told people that I didn't want to date any guys taller than 6'0'' or heavier than 200 pounds.
It is not that I wanted to date a short guy. In junior high, a guy liked me who was very short, not having gone through puberty. I danced with him at a school dance once and felt uncomfortable because his head was level with my breasts. He was too short for me.
There are some guys that I found unattractive because they were much more assymetrical than average. Some of those things probably could be corrected with make up or surgery. Maybe that is hypocritical of me, who has one attatched and one detatched ear lobe.

Some research showed that we prefer symmetrical faces because symmetry directly corrrelates with good genetic makeup - fewer deletions or errors. Good genes = good prospects for producing healthy children.

and somehow more alluring. I'm not talking the Picasso thing, here, but just a little hint of something that makes you go "hmmmm" without being able to quite place a finger on why, initially.

I've never been short enough such that my face was level with a dance partner's breasts. :-(

Maybe I should give lap-dancing a try.


With my luck, I'll end up in some Finnish Cultural Center, dressed in colorful wool raiment and dancing with a reindeer.



Just as you never know where you'll end up, or what you'll be doing, you never can tell who you'll end up with. I am happy that you found the right man -- and he the right woman -- even if it at first seemed at odds with what you thought you wanted.

i wont enumerate them since i dont want to upset anyone...

(i bet if i said skinny... some skinny person would be offended..etc)

but i am superficial.

And it's not like you hate people of (whatever physical habitus)...it's just not, all things being equal, a side of your preference that plays into initial physical attraction.

:hi:

packing at least 13". :crazy:

Now quickly, before this post gets zapped - there are no real physical dealbreakers for me. I've liked and loved men of all shapes, sizes, and degrees of overall hairiness, so there is no one physical characteristic that would automatically eliminate someone.

aren't those guys 'hard' to find?

IBTL :D

That's just a little too big, anyway, isn't it?


:rofl:

:P

:eyes:









:hi:

to give you the conversion in kilos? :D

If the attributes don't fit, one must acquit.

It's changed, over the years. Now it's just meaningless to talk about someone not being my type unless I'm talking about character or, maybe, overall look in some way or another (by which I mean that I might be able to identify 'not-type' but couldn't really articular 'type'...I may have my vague preferences for certain physical characters, all else being equal, but they'd not play into a decision to go for it with a woman and would only really be of use if I was going to somehow manufacture my very own Stepford Woman from the ground up).

Kind of appropriate that the elvel to which physical preference shave subsided is such that they're baely ever in play, given who I'm mimicking these days:

Interviewer: What kind of girl do you like, Elvis?

Elvis Presley: Female, sir.

:D

Or are you just getting all Johnny Cochran-ish on us tonight?

That counts me out. :D

I would say I have no real hang-ups on physical characteristics, with the caveat that I have come to understand in myself that "attractive" to me in a woman seems to start with her face, more specifically the shape of her nose.

So it may be that at some level if I dislike the shape of a woman's nose, it's a deal-breaker, but more in the realm of not being attracted to her in the first place. It's hard to start something if there is no attraction.

I don't require a specific shape to a nose, it's just something I discovered in delving deeply into the question "Why do I think this one is attractive, and that one doesn't appeal at all?"

It's good to some honesty by you and a few others.

Gross obesity, certainly. And I don't mean "Ew, gross," but as in way over the top, like "Weren't you on Montel Williams and they had to knock down a wall to get you out of your bedroom and to the hospital?"

Although... I know a woman who went from 135 pounds to more than 300 because of a thyroid condition, but she didn't stop being hot to me because it was still her.

It'd be naive to suggest that initial physical attraction can be important, and that it's not -- by definition -- at least somewhat superficial (I say 'somewhat' because I have met plenty of people, male and female, who possess an aura of goodness or beauty that has nothing to do with the physical, or otherwise make a tremendous first impression based on behavior or just their state of being...I've certainly met some females who just radiate sheer sex-appeal, too, no matter what their looks or body type). So the odds are pretty good that you'd be less than likely to feel such attraction toward your friend if you first met her at her peak weight instead of having already known her and thought her attractive, right? I think what's important is not that you're somehow a member of the anti-morbidly-obese-people club but that physicality doesn't really mean anything to you when compared to more lasting, internal attributes. Weight, like other physical things, can come and go...

I don't care about height, weight, or looks.

but unwashed is too much.

barring some malady or the other.


Well, I'm off to have a shower now..... :-)

:)

My husband has Multiple Sclerosis, and due to symptoms and medication has gained quite a bit of weight, with me being kind of a fitness junkie sould be a deal breaker, yet I still find him sexy as hell. We flirt a lot with each other even after 16 years and that helps, I'm sure.

He's big and bearded and sweet and just my type.

And so is he. :-)

Maybe 'blessed' is a better word, 'cos luck's not necessarily got anything to do with it when it's meant to be!

That's how he describes our marriage. :hi:

I'll go so far as to say that although I am a lesbian and sexually only like women, there are some characteristics in some men that will make me stop and not even be friends with that certain man. It's hard to explain it, but there is this thing about low ears along with that ridge over the nose and the forehead that hangs over. If a man has all those physical characteristics, it has been my experience that they think neanderthal as well as look it. If any of you have the look but do not think that way, please step forward. I need to know you exist. Up until this point though, I have yet to see any evidence. There are tons of red state men (in my area) who fit this look and they all pretty much have griped my ass for a long time now. They think just like neanderthals and they look like them too. They need to either evolve or ooze back down into the goo and finish forming into human beings.

Aren't I sweet?

had larger brain capacity than we do!

:P

Come to think of it, though, the men I remember who sound as you describe did tend to be jumped-up little facists who tended to rift toward positions of limited authority that let them indulge in their little power fantasies. But I'm sure it's coincidence!

From what I have read, it's all those wrinkles. Apparently, we want wrinkly brains so they can hold more info and data and stuff. :P

It has been true for me in the past. Maybe there are some who don't fit that mentality. I sure hope so. I can almost see the same resemblance in the attitudes when I see someone that looks like the last one. It's fucked up. I keep hoping for someone to come along and blow that stereotype out of the water, but they haven't. Oh well.

Happy Holidays, ForrestGump. :hi:

:hide:

By the time I ever knew I was interested in somebody, it was almost everything it was almost everything BUT the physical that mattered. That by no means means "no standards." I just means the standards apply to things other than physical appearance.

Think about it: Anyone you truly feel you love or have loved, would that love be any different if they looked different than they do/did? If so, then maybe it really wasn't love.

Appearance can have a bearing on the strict physical attration aspect - but I believe that is there only to get you to notice someone in the first place. It is certainly possible to "notice" someone and feel attracted to someone for reasons other than physical appearance.

Just my $.02

It's perfect. It's true, too, that initial attraction is not always necessarily dependent on -- even partially -- physicality. I've experienced enough of that myself, already.

Thanks! :yourock:

Really tall guys, guys with black hair, guys who look like Elvis...:P




:hug:



No, I don't have any deal breakers. Personality and character are much more important to me. When I think back to the guys I have had relationships with, the only similarity that tends to comes up is brown hair colour, and that wasn't a choice so much as many people have brown hair.

At the risk of sounding very woo-wooish, I have a pretty good sense about people...I can sense their energy, frequency, spirit (I'm not talking about seeing auras here)...just picking up on things that I haven't fully processed consciously. I often just 'know' something about someone, and have to work it through into my conscious mind.

I can't even think of someone famous (like an actor or singer) who I think is attractive by their picture alone. I have to know what's behind it. "Prettiness/handsomeness" isn't a big turn on for me. I find faces very fascinating, and the more from the 'ideal' that they are, the more interesting they are to me.

You know, these prejudices of yours are going to put a real cramp on our whole engagement thing, sugartuque. fortunately, there's some hope: my hair isn't really black, underneath it all. :P

I know what you mean about picking up nonverbal, nonvisual (well, not obviously visual, anyway, in an immediate sense) cues off people. It seems like, in my experience, first impressions are usually pretty close to the mark, especially when it's someone I'm either really going to like or really going to dislike (or be disliked by).

I'm going to go see how unideal I can make my face get, now, because that's just how dedicated I am... :D

:hug:

you're perfect just the way you are. :loveya:

I know that...I was just waiting for you to say it. :P

I'll not change a thing, then. I mean, except for, now and then, my clothes and all of that...

:loveya:

I understood it completely which means you wrote it in terms a moran can follow!
Yet it explained it well.

:hug: :loveya:

If a man has hands with long, knobby fingers, I'm in trouble. Also, if a man's jaw has a certain squarish shape...sigh. I also dig super-high foreheads with that hyper widow's peak thing. Glasses too, they make me hot.

I'm weird. I know.

Just got certain preferences, that's all.

I don't know what constitutes finger knobbiness, but I don't wear glasses (well, except sunglasses, at times) and I don't think my jaw's at all square, so I'm out of the pool of potential mates here. :D


Rave on, baby!

to find that out.

can be grueling. :-)

:P

of my favorite things... :D

set of gender specific attributes.

:P

For some weird reason, long thin spider fingers give me the willies (and I LIKE spiders :shrug: ).

Beyond that, I have no type. I've dated people my height and shorter (5'0") to 6'6", big or small, hairy or not, and, really, while initial attraction counts for a bit, I just ain't all that picky when it comes to the physical things. There's GOTTA be something else there before I get that full on attraction thing for someone. They're funny, talented, great converstionalist, SOMETHING. But, I gotta say, confidence and confort with self is a HUGE turn-on.

Time was when some characteristics might be disqualifying, such as extreme shortness or fatness or a total lack of teeth. But now I'm so damn old and desperate that anybody with a pulse and no contagious diseases would be fine with me.

i just can`t help myself" john lee hooker "big legs -tight skirt"

I had to break it off with you when I learned you had a permanent butt-imprint from a car hood. :cry: That's the worst deal-breaker ever.

i had to break it off with Forrest for the same reason.

there's just no competing with the owner of that hood anyway, she's sublime. :hi: :hug:

Physically, the gals I've taken a liking to over the years have ranged from busty cornfed farmer's daughter redheads to skinny Euro-looking blondes. Any gal is my type, if she's got the personality to reel me in. To give you an idea, the three ladies I had strong interest/romantic feelings for in my life in celebrity terms resembled Uma Thurman, Ann-Margret (early 60's version) and Reese Witherspoon.

I'm not going to lie, these women all pretty much would have been attractive to 95% of the hetero male population. People have told me I "set the bar too high" for myself, but I don't know what that means. I have ignored plenty of ladies over the years who I thought were among the most beautiful women I've ever laid eyes on for the simple fact I found them vapid, shallow, vain, boring, etc. etc., and as someone who avoids sex for casual fun, one night stands, or flings, that causes me no problems. I guess that to totally commit to persuing someone, I'd have to be strongly physically attracted to them in addition to emotionally and mentally.

There is, I suppose, a pattern in what turns my head, but what keeps my attention is something else entirely.

a great, big, prominent, strong nose. I don't know why, but I've always loved a distinct shnoz. I mean.. look at this hawtness:

Physically, I am attracted to medium-tall, good looking men, with broad shoulders. They shouldn't be too slim, though. Seriously, male models are too slim for my taste. They look like a piece of art you can't touch, LOL.

I don't know why. There are many very handsome towheaded men. But there's something about the light, flaxen hair that turns me off. In fact, I'll aim for grey hair before I aim for blonde hair.

I also don't like very buff men. I find it to be too much - unreal. I also don't mind a little hair here and there. The wax-job chest is nauseating for me. I don't get why male models do that. Ewww.

And, above all else, if you do not have a stirring intellect, you need not apply. I do not care what shell you come in, if your gears don't work, I will not fall for you.

:hi:

P.S. Race plays no factor for me. I am an olive skinned caucasian woman. I hope that doesn't bug you. ;)

. . . but I like a girl who still has some of her own teeth.

Welcome to DU, Pretty! :hi:

Mint-flavored dental floss?

if a man has bad teeth I am totally grossed out. Teeth are the first thing I notice about people. Bad ones make me almost not able to look at that person.

Does that make me bad? I hope not. I didn't even realize how much teeth affected me until my husband pointed out how I comment on them so dang often. (He has very nice teeth, by the say.)

And I have been involved with some very tall and big men. I find them intimidating because they generally like to dominate other people, including females. I think it reflects a lack of equality. One large fellow I dated admitted that he ENJOYED intimidating other people with his height, which I find pretty gross.

I once was introduced to a man who closely resembled my extremely tall and thin ex-husband and I jumped/flinched because this man's appearance provoked a fear reaction, caused by my ancient history with the ex, who had been abusive in every way but physical, because he was smart enough not to do anything he could get arrested for.

Short ones are hard to find. I'm five foot three and my honey is five foot eight. And he's just right for me. I feel absolutely equal to him.

He had an ex wife that swung at him and missed. Scary.

type, or a body-builder. I've always been more attracted to slim, wiry guys.

But, intelligence, sense of humor and just being a decent human is much more important than looks.

and jet black eyes.

it just kills me.

I'm extremely fair with black hair ... but hazel eyes.

who does his best to be chivalrous in my public interactions I call bullshit.

I'm heavy but not huge and I'm cursed with russian, hound-dog, eyes and I'm balding. I'm actually fairly gracefull and make efforts to please, thank-you, smile and hold doors whenever possible. Still it's clear that I am NOT anyones mating option anymore.

I suspect that the same goes for some of the heavier gals out there. I do know one young lady with scarring cystic acne and a shorter than optimal chin. The funny thing is that I was always more interested that she would smile at me than the rest of that. Unfourtunately she was 16 years younger; legal but out of range.

you don't seem to be a danger to the opposite sex.

Next friday you can accuse me of being lame. Or you could join the legions of drunks in the bars. Responsible single dads stay home friday nights unless they have a scheduled activity thank you.

Being a 40's male tomcatting in a college town is just lame also and the bookstore closed at 10pm..

I married the short portly one with the "lizard" eyes, a big heart, and more medical problems then you can shake a stick at. I dated tall dark and handsome, short light and handsome, and everything inbetween of just about every race I can dream up.

The only one who liked me that I couldn't like back was the guy who's family raised goats and he always smelled like goat manure. Smell matters to me. If he'd have showered, avoided the goats and slapped on a little old spice......well who knows.

It's a recent occurrence. Hopefully, it will subside. But it's a terrible joke for the holidays.

I called some good friends last week and they kept hanging up on me until I had my daughter call first.



All I want back is my smile. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Bell's Palsy can be a very frustrating affliction.

I've never had it, but, several people I've known over the years have had it.

One, right on graduation from college, when it was time for a job search.

I hope you get your smile back soon too!

On the Internets no one can tell you have Bell's!

Again, get well soon! :)

:thumbsup:

Romantic interests must have boobage!

in terms of physical attributes.

if someone is ugly on the inside,
that diminishes their physical attraction.

i don't want to be with a jerky, regardless of how they look.

to me there is nothing more attractive to be found in someone
than a good soul.

it's too late for me edit my post and i wish to add to my statement.

DU is good example imo, of how one can be attracted to someone based on who they are and, not their physical appearance.

:loveya:

This kind of interaction medium can potentially cut it all down to what matters, because you just might get to know and like/love a person for who they are long before you ever see a photograph of him or her. The only caveat is that, sometimes, people are dishonest about themselves (whether consciously or not) -- I'd like to think that we could spot that, but sometimes we can't. Overall, though, 'meeting' someone through this kind of 'virtual' venue could quite handily shortcut right through role that physicality usually or often plays in initial attraction.

:hug:

(hee hee - I first spelled it "harelips")

And, of course, any physical attribute (or lack thereof) that makes me not attracted to a woman, in that weird way that we're all wired to find different things beautiful/attractive.

And it's CALLED harelips because the cleft supposedly makes you look like you have a rabbit's lips.

:grr:

Necrophilia ain't my thing at all. ;-)

But a woman's eyes and her smile are the first thing that draws me in. Yeah, I know those with a more socially-acceptable physique can generate more interest from others. But many people look beyond the mere physical attributes where you'll see an average-looking guy like myself with a much more physically attractive woman. More to the point seeing the look of disinterest in a woman's eyes is the death-knell for me.

This is well beyond my limit of gummy.



It makes me feel like a Dentist.

I need a girl with a big healthy ass...i.e. a good hip to ass ration. I won't go out with girls that look like Poles, or girls who look like boxes....I'm an hour-glass kind of guy.

Am I superficial...oh hell yeah. I can't really help who I am attracted to, and I won't date someone who isn't attractive. If that makes me a rat bastard, fine.

Evoman

what is necessary for me to be physically attracted: dark hair (or gray/formerly dark, lol), dark skin (olive to ebony), dark eyes, straight, white teeth, sufficient body and/or facial hair (shaving one's body is so disgusting to me). size doesn't matter, he can be tall, short, heavy, slim, just as long as he has the required physical characteristics stated previously i will look.

like you, i've never been attracted to blonde or redheaded, light eyes, skin men...probably because that's what I AM! opposites attract (physically) in my case.

of course, one can find what they want in a person physically, but once they open their mouth, that can fizzle in an instant.

attraction is such a strange phenomenon. i give up :shrug:

But I don't know if I'd consider anything physical to be a "dealbreaker", so long as the emotional and physical "chemistry" is WOWING me enough.

Preferences for the ladies: To be honest, I don't have many. In my relationships with women, personality is EVERYTHING. I do have a weakness for generous curves and large rear ends, though! My partner is perfect in every way, to me.

Preferences for the fellows: Dark brown or black hair, preferably with some natural waves or loose curls, full lips, large hands, tall stature, not excessively hairy but not boyishly bare either. I like strong, masculine men--the kind of guy you always feel safe around because you know he could kick the $&*@ out of someone who's threatening you, but would never harm *you* no matter what the provocation. Quiet, capable men who cherish you and would never try to dominate you--not because they're weak, but because they *love* you that much. The kind of guy who'd kill all the evil spiders and bees that I'm afraid of, but would never ridicule my fear of spiders and bees.

Sometimes it seems like all the men like that are already taken.