my damn dog treats winter walks at the park like a goose crap salad bar

leftofthedial

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Thu Jan-04-07 04:25 PM
Original message

my damn dog treats winter walks at the park like a goose crap salad bar

he finds goose shit irresistable

I stop him as much as possible, but he's a devious little bastard

now he has this fishy-shitty breath that'll drive you right out of the room

little turd munching dingleberry.

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Strawman

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Thu Jan-04-07 04:52 PM
Response to Original message

1. One of our dogs came running up to me with litter nose yesterday

Edited on Thu Jan-04-07 04:53 PM by Strawman

Our fussy kitten doesn't like the roof on the litter boxes let alone one of those tents to keep the dogs out and if we forget to shut the baby gate to the basement stairs, it's turd munchin time. If I'm lucky, the whole box isn't tipped over.

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China_cat

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Thu Jan-04-07 05:33 PM
Response to Reply #1

8. In the house...

baby gates. Put the catbox in a hall or a room and put a baby gate in the doorway. The cat can get to the box, the dog can't.

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Strawman

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Thu Jan-04-07 05:47 PM
Response to Reply #8

9. used to do that but fussy kitten did not like the litter in the laundry room

Edited on Thu Jan-04-07 05:48 PM by Strawman

Which is gated. Other cat liked that arrangement just fine. Tried the gradual move, everything, no luck.

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Radio_Lady

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Thu Jan-04-07 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #9

20. SPOILER: DON'T READ THIS THREAD RIGHT AFTER DINNER!

All I can say is UUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!

Thank goodness the last dog died in 1988, and we haven't replaced her!

WE'RE FREE!

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ceile

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Thu Jan-04-07 04:54 PM
Response to Original message

2. EEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

One thing my dogs don't do-eat cat or other dog shit. But vomit on the other hand....apparently it's a delicacy in doggie world.

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leftofthedial

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Thu Jan-04-07 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #2

4. his only vice is canadian goose turds

he has no interest in other, um, offal.

he just can't resist them. By now, he surely knows that turd munching is verboten, but he grazes anyway.

only in winter and early spring. he ignores them all summer.

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LaraMN

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Thu Jan-04-07 04:58 PM
Response to Original message

3. Gross! My neighbor's dog is inherently fond of rooting through my kid's dirty diapers.

I think evolution effed something up, there.

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seemunkee

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Thu Jan-04-07 05:26 PM
Response to Original message

5. my pup used to like the jelly beans the bunnies leave in the yard

Thankfully she outgrew it.

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leftofthedial

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Thu Jan-04-07 09:11 PM
Response to Reply #5

16. "Alas," said Dumbledore.

"Rabbit droppings."

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Deja Q

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Thu Jan-04-07 05:30 PM
Response to Original message

6. Couldn't you just buy for the pooch a bag of "Fancy Feast" instead?

Would you believe, "Tender Vittles"?

All cat food is the same anyway: Refuse bread products combined with liquid flavors squeezed out of rancid fish (why else do the packages state "Not suitable for human consumption"?)

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leftofthedial

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Thu Jan-04-07 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #6

12. He loves fish

big time

it has become a pretty big part of his diet

what I feed him or give him as "treats" has zero effect on his turd noshing.

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Jamastiene

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Thu Jan-04-07 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #6

25. Not Sheba.

I'd make a damn sandwich out of Sheba Chicken Dinner if it wasn't so damned expensive. That Sheba is so good smelling vittles and my cats love it on the rare occasion they get it.

Some cat food is what you say though. Horrendous rancid fish flavored. The cat's digestive system does little to improve the smell either. My cats eat only fish I cook, so I know it's not rancid. Otherwise, it's chicken or sensitive stomach dry food.

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kmla

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Thu Jan-04-07 05:32 PM
Response to Original message

7. Honestly, when I say "LOL" in a post, I'm not really laughing out loud.

But I did on this thread.

:rofl:

Something about the the "little turd munching dingleberry" quote. Makes me laugh every time someone types it. And so far, you are the first.

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LynneSin

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Thu Jan-04-07 06:04 PM
Response to Original message

10. Can I have a show of hands of people here who didn't really need to know that

:hi:

TMI!

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conscious evolution

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Thu Jan-04-07 08:28 PM
Response to Original message

11. My sisters dog

wonders why the cat buries hor d'ouerves in sand

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salin

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Thu Jan-04-07 08:40 PM
Response to Original message

13. puppy breath mints - are a blessing...

our baby inevitably finds deer deposits. Yuck! But clearly a delicacy to him. Once we found some 'treats' that were dog breath mints - it made the problem a little less bothersome (still gross - but at least he doesn't stink up the room anymore.)

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leftofthedial

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Thu Jan-04-07 09:08 PM
Response to Reply #13

15. I'm giving him a doggy dental bar

now at worst he'll smell like minty fishturds

why does goose poop smell fishy?

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salin

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Thu Jan-04-07 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #15

17. could be that goose turds are stinkier than deer turds...

the mints cover up the deer stench - and no fishy smell. Suddenly I am thankful that while geese migrate over our land - they dont land and leave droppings there.

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leftofthedial

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Thu Jan-04-07 09:17 PM
Response to Reply #17

18. I live about half a mile from a big lake and surrounding wetlands

We get the goose turd mulch big time

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salin

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Thu Jan-04-07 09:20 PM
Response to Reply #18

21. sounds like a small price (stinky dog breath) for such a convenient

location. Find a better breath mint so you can better enjoy the walks/playtime :D

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leftofthedial

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Thu Jan-04-07 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #21

23. he's a knucklehead

we do a couple of walks a day around the lake and through the park

with all the snow we've had, he's just in husky heaven. the snacks are just icing on the cake.

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hippywife

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Thu Jan-04-07 08:43 PM
Response to Original message

14. You had me rollin' at

goose crap salad bar! :rofl:

I've seen goose crap.

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EFerrari

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Thu Jan-04-07 09:18 PM
Response to Original message

19. Omigod, I can't keep my puppy out of our two litter boxes.

BUDDY never did this! And the cats just watch in horror.

The puppy is nearly too big to get through the cat door to the boxes but man, this is just not okay. She could get sick or something. Apart from the whole issue of making ME sick. She's a litterbox junkie. She'd rather root in the litterbox than chew her pig's ear.

Help.

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GenDem

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Thu Jan-04-07 09:27 PM
Response to Original message

22. Mr. Gen just asked what was so funny from another room

cuz I'm busting a gut over this one.

:rofl:

We own two Schipperkes and they will eat any foul thing that they can hunt down, with the exception of their own poop or their species poop. But any other species poop is A-OK....rabbit, geese, cats, deer, Q-Tips, and human underwear is considered a delicacy.

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Jamastiene

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Thu Jan-04-07 10:27 PM
Response to Original message

24. Funniest. Post. Ever.

Oh, damn, no one can convince me now that we don't need an official humor forum on DU. This has the be the funniest post ever. Please DU officials, give us a humor forum. This made my day so much brighter and happier. :rofl: Oh, dayum, that was funny.

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