Who is the least funniest stand-up comedian ever?

Gotta go with Jack E. Leonard. I remembered him from "The Ed Sullivan Show". Almost painfully unfunny.

But a lot of it is pure genius--for all-context funny I recommend a recording called "The Law, Language and Lenny Bruce." Also the Original Masters series of his has a great second disk, drawn from togetherness and other albums which is very funny--just look at this album cover. :D

Hands down.

Worse than Dane Cook. Worse than Carlos Mencia. Worse than Larry the fucking Cable Guy, even.

Dane Cook is far worse.

But Bob Hope takes the All-Time Suckiest Comedian award.

And you're right...he was even worse than Larry the Cable Guy. Which is saying quite a bit....

Buddy Hackett was hilarious. At his best he made Richard Pryor blush.

RW Evangelical comic. Sucks neverending anus.

I said hands down! Nobody applaud this waste of oxygen.

Please tell me that's not his body.

he'd be okay.

His face looks like he has "transitioned".

That picture almost made me straight.

If I the choice between any woman and him, I'd take any woman... nice abs or not.

he's interesting looking.

Dennis Kucinich.

Toss up between Jackie Mason and Jimmie "JJ" Walker. Not because they are both right-wing twits (although that adds to the unlikability factor), but simply because they just aren't very funny.

How unfunny are they? Given the choice between watching their stand-up routines or watching a Pauly Shore movie - I'd pick the Pauly Shore movie.

They're THAT unfunny.

Edited for bad spellin'. I'm not gellin'.

:puke:

I watched his HBO special and it was all spectacle and nothing really funny at the core. It was like people in the audience were just laughing out of peer pressure or something.

I absolutely hate unnecessarily loud people. :mad:

His SNL monologue was so bad, but the audience kept laughing hysterically. It's almost like they're laughing because they think he's the cool guy - total throwback to high school.

In fairness, from what I've heard, he's a nice guy, but then again, a lot of the great comedians were pricks, so there you go.

he's ugly, too.

:P

But compared to your average comedian, he's probably one of the better-looking ones.

Ugly people tend to be funnier. :D

I have to say, I like him.
But I think he is becoming LESS FUNNY as time goes on. His latest SnL appearance was painful & I was really dissapointed in the HBO special.

I was 14, tops, so I think I was *allowed* to find him hiLARious. Also, I got totally drenched in sledgehammered stuff. You probably guessed that.

oh well

The world's most unfunny man.

When he was just speaking off the cuff, he was a very funny and clever guy. But, for some reason, if he was acting, doing standup, i.e. anything scripted, he stunk. Just plain stunk.

That's better.

he has got to be the worst!! he tries to be a comedian to deflect from answering questions. asshole

I hope someday someone beats her up.

I laugh at her because her soul is withered and black inside, like a Republican.

would be able to distinguish that from her regular act.

i can't wait for this anti-p.c. trend to stop so that she can get the hell beat out of her.

oh well, to each his own.

I hated the way he picked on audience members.

with most of them, since I don't care for stand-up in the first place. I sort of cringe whenever I've seen it, because there is usually something embarrassing about it.

However, saying that, I care for Jerry Lewis the least because of what he said a few years ago about comediennes:

That quote right there.

God that guy is horrible.

"No no everyone's got to go! No no not that way, the way you came in!!"

:puke:
Oh and Goat boy was wildly weird and funny at the same time but that wasn't really standup.

Most unfunny for me would have to be Garafalo I just never thought she was funny and the reading from a scrap of paper did nothing to change that.

Jackie Mason has just gotten downright weird.

God, I hate that man. x(

What has he done to his face the roids must be doing weird things to him?

Why did you have to do that to me? :cry:

I saw some pic of him the other day and I didn't recognize his face and this eyebrows looked like they were tattooed on our something it was freaky. Kinda like Melanie Griffith without makeup.

Yuck, just really... yuck.

Loved her TV show and still try to catch a rerun every once in a while. I was raised in an integrated neighborhood of solidly lower blue collar families and it just speaks reality to me.

and I just don't like her brand of comedy. Although David, on the show, is a wonderful actor.

***Born in Milwaukee, WI... now in Detroit, MI. Solid blue collar. Yes, the bar is typical, but not the home life, at least for me.

...but her recent stand-up special was mostly unfunny.

n/t

Before he became a "family friendly" comic, he had some serious edginess. His language was COMPLETELY unihibited. Closer to Eddie Murphy than what he became.
The Professor

I have a hard time imagining Bob Sagat saying "fuck."

You won't believe what comes out of his mouth!

I am dead now.
The rusty trombone always is good for a laugh...

But it'd be better if they'd mentioned the Angry Pirate.

let me just say that Andy Dick is a little too into describing felching...it's kind of unsettling...

I only learned about it yesterday during a hilarious lunchtime conversation with friends that resulted in one of them shouting out "WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT A DONKEY PUNCH IS?!" in a crowded food court, haha.

Always cracks me up, just thinking about it...

The Tony Danza is when you are b*lls-deep in a woman from behind and while ramming her mercilessly, you proceed to yell, "Who's the boss?! Who's the boss, bitch?!" Typically, she will yell, "You are!" at which point you turn her around, slap her with your cock and yell, "No. Tony Danza's the boss, bitch"


www.urbandictionary.com

nt

If a guy did that to me, I'd flip

but laugh about it for years

donky punching, though, is an act of pure love. Second only to giving the gift that keeps on giving: a dick in a box.

Step 2.. put your junk in that box

Yet, his demeanor was much like it was on "Home Videos". Very subdued, then the most outrageous stuff would come out of his mouth. He isn't funny anymore, but he used to be.
The Professor

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/8957319/bob_saget/

Bob Saget is relaxing on the beach in Miami, shaded from the sun and heat by a cabana and letting his head spin. Once, everybody thought he was Mr. Wholesome, a reputation based on his role as the goody-two-shoes dad on TV's Full House (also starring those Olsen twins) and the grinning, cheeseball host of America's Funniest Home Videos. In recent days, though, he's revealed himself to be filthy almost beyond words, so filthy that almost he can't believe it -- maybe the filthiest comic out there, with amazing effects on his stand-up career. "Everywhere I go, I'm selling out," he says, dazed. "Kids are yelling my last name now, which I used to be made fun of my whole childhood, because it rhymes with so much shit, like 'faggot' and 'maggot.'"

How this turnaround happened is he took part in the movie The Aristocrats, the dirty-joke documentary, and out-dirtied everyone. " takes out his penis . . . then just starts smacking his kids with it, flicks 'em like a wet towel at the gym, and he knocks one of his kids in the eye, and the kid's eye pops out," he said during his performance. "Well, he looks at that as an opportunity, mind you . . ." After which, he'd get that goofy-looking Bob Saget grin on his face and say, "I can't believe I'm saying this. This is going to kill my career!"

and I hated him on the show...he seemed like such a pussy...glad to see that in reality, he's one dirty motherfucker.
God bless him.

and then deliberating whether to have sex with the empty socket. The man has a fucking crude side.

That dude is about as funny as a blood clot.

And Bill Cosby never once made me laugh.

More of a comedic entertainer or a nightclub act when he does theater shows.

My best friend and I saw him do a show on St. Patty's day at the local community college auditorium over 10 years ago. We were the youngest people in the crowd by a good thirty years. I think he's really funny. The original Nutty Professor is one of my favorite comedies.

They were VERY funny and very popular. Alot of their act can be seen on the old Colgate Comedy Hour TV show. Their movies WEREN'T funny, because Paramount didn't' understand the act, and Jerry wasn't near as funny without Dean, but together they were a hoot.

I'm not sure the man has ever told a funny joke. Ever.

my brother loves him...of course my brother is a freeper, so he wouldn't know funny if it gave him herpes!

Not sure if he does stand up - I just know he isn't funny.

and Eddie Murphy my second...

They are both brilliant comedians. Granted neither of them are as funny as Dane Cook or Dave Coulier...but man....seriously.

On edit: Yes, I am kidding about Dane Cook and Dave. They both suck donkey dick.

Cause I dislike Dane badly, and didn't know the other guy....:D My sense of humor/sarcasm meter, does work....:D

Pray that that's the first and last time you hear of her. She somehow won the best newcomer award at last years Edinburgh festival and is getting a bizarre amount of acclaim from people I otherwise respect.

If anybody wants proof of her uselessness, she turns up for about five minutes at this link:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/looseends.shtml

but I can't remember how far in.

And we kept hearing a buzz about her from loads of people. Never saw her perform, though. Perhaps that was a good thing. :)

We saw Russell Kane's Theory of Pretension... he was up for the eddie, too. I liked that show.

Never laughed at any of his jokes.

...to name just a few. :eyes:

I've never seen a funnier routine than one he did back in the 80s.

Maybe you don't get Southern humor. Ron White is hysterical. Foxworthy is OK.

Bake

There is a reason why Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector is on IMDB's worst movies ever list:

http://www.imdb.com/bottom_100_films

"Get'r Done!" One catch phrase & million bad jokes.

I guess he is so bad a lot of people identify with him.

It's actually spelled:

"Git-r-done."

Is there a "shudders uncontrollably" smilie?

Will this work? :scared: I actually know a guy who uses that phrase & thinks it's funny. It just makes me sort of cringe.

Dude's career is already over. Shit, he lasted shorter than Ernest.

Racist punk.

God he was unfunny.

And did he live in Denton, Texas?

God what a POS loser. If he's you're cousin, I AM sorry, but he is.

Works at Walmart and is one of the biggest losers of all time.

This guy is blonde and about 30-35-- last time I saw him he had a Van Dyke beard, and was living in his father's basement in Illinois.

I'm HOPING that he works at wal-Mart. He was a fry cook, so I'm hoping he's frying burgers at the snack bar.

Loser.

Of course, I lost my sense of humor after my last breakup..so go figure.

<>

His name fits.

I consider Colin Quinn the Un-comedian.

He's a fucking toad. I guess making noises like a retarded person and making fun of ethnic stereotypes are considered 'comedy gold' by some.

...and could never understand what people see in him.

And I could listen to him and watch him for hours and did on New Years Eve. :)

Wow, he's so CLEVER. Yeah, he's clever. Too bad he forgot to be funny somewhere in be there. Yet people love him. Oh well.

Last time I looked, that's what every stand up I've ever met was looking for.

lol

...I don't see the attraction. I just don't find him funny.

surprising. Funny, only on special occasions.

But, that's certainly a valid response to the guy.

I hate that fucking asshole.

I thought my friend Alan and I were the ONLY PEOPLE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH who can't stand that obnoxious prick.

Larry the Cable Guy. All of them sooooo not funny!

"I found my girlfriend in bed with another man. I was crushed. I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"

Gilbert often makes me laugh, too.

I'm off to check out this Ron White guy. Unless he's like Larry the Cable Guy, that is. You hit the money on that one.

than Larry the Cable Guy. He's a drunken, mysoginistic ass. Only a woman with no self esteem at all would have anything to do with him if his personality is anything at all like his on-stage persona.

My dad thinks that Blue Collar Comedy is a hoot. But then he lives up north and not here in Oklahoma where we're surrounded by guys just like Ron and Larry. Not funny at all! x(

Prehaps if he didn't look like he did his shows stoned and/or drunk off his ass he would actualy be able to make a joke worthy of a laugh.

The unfunnier Mencia.

It is simply not. possible.

but Quinn is an unfunny asshole. Mencia is a stupid unfunny asshole who masquarades as a minority when he really isn't. He's about as Latino as George W. Bush.

No kidding. At all.

but Eddie fucking Izzard comes close.

But Andy Kaufman was amazing

Whatever happened to him? :P

Wow.. horrendously unfunny..

he's got the fact that he's nine thousand pounds and willing to be self deprecating and yet still can't manage to be anything but an annoying fucking hack.

No contest.

Pauley Shore, Andrew Dice Clay, are three who come to mind. I've blocked a lot of the other unfunnies out over the years.

hmm, its hard to come up with a definate #1 suck ass comedian....but, for now, my choice is LTCG....

His "live moose strapped to the fender" routine was hilarious.

Another:

We used to argue and fight, we finally decided, we either take a vacation on Bermuda or get a divorce, one of the two things, and we discussed it very maturely, and we decided on the divorce, 'cause we felt we had a limited amount of money to spend, y'know. A vacation in Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something that you'd always have.

http://www.ibras.dk/comedy/allen.htm

Not only is he a RW twat, but he's really unfunny.

Larry the Cable Guy treads mighty close to that line, but even he shows flashes of brilliance.