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For divorced DU'ers, why did your marriage break up?

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ringmastery Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:41 PM
Original message
For divorced DU'ers, why did your marriage break up?
What causes people to fall out of love?
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Cooley Hurd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:45 PM
Response to Original message
1. She caught me at a democratic orgy...
Edited on Sun Jan-04-04 10:46 PM by alg0912
...with rumguy! :o
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. BWWAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Organized through GD2004, right? ;-)
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:45 PM
Response to Original message
2. Abuse
of the verbal variety was the deciding factor in ending my marriage. It was either walk out or kill him.

I walked.
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HereSince1628 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:48 PM
Response to Original message
4. Shouldn't this be handled in PM's?
DU'ers complain of our library records being available as digital records, and yet have no compulsion about asking people about some of the most intimate and painful aspects of their lives.
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HereSince1628 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:51 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. It seems the answer is no...
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ringmastery Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. just like any other thread
people will reply if it interests them or ignore it if it doesn't.

Most of us are anonymous, anyway. Those who aren't can decide for themselves what they do or don't want to share on a public forum.

It's about choice.
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HereSince1628 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 11:10 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. Yes it is about choice, and tells the story you choose to see
such is life.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. What, do you want to hear from my ex
Edited on Sun Jan-04-04 11:17 PM by supernova
about what a really, wonderful, sweet guy he is and how I was such a mean fucking bitch to leave him? :eyes: Truthfully I couldn't tell you how to contact him now.

We were asked; you get our versions.

While we're on the subject, your wanting to know all about it is less invasive than a simple direct question... how? :shrug:

edit: I don't mind being asked. I'm not ashamed of the darker parts of my story. They're there whether I tell them or not. Shinning a little light on them now and again makes them less painful and burdensome.
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HereSince1628 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 11:29 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. Really I seek nothing, and I wasn't writing about how biased
or comical the responses may be.

There is also a story in the act of asking, and its of that story I am thinking. It is a story of what we are not afraid to ask or answer behind the perception of a veil.

And since there is no one interested in pursuing that particular story, I see no point in pursuing as an intellectual question the influence of anonimity on the culture of chat rooms.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. Oh I see
It is a story of what we are not afraid to ask or answer behind the perception of a veil.

Not for me. For me constancy is the key moreso than anonymity. There is a certain constancy to the Lounge membership. I always know that certain people will be online and read my posts, just as I will read theirs. And I'm comfortable with the other Loungers to the point I don't worry about what I say, or the subjects I bring up.

If the Lounge where a more transient place, say a Yahoo group, I would hesitate more in talking about myself.

Oh and I would be saying these same things if the Lounge were a brick and mortar place where we all congregated every evening.

:loveya: DU Loungers
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Booberdawg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #4
10. Nobody is being forced to respond
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soothsayer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:48 PM
Response to Original message
5. cuz i was (am) gay, ultimately
We didn't really love each other; were both just recovering from broken hearts and hoping for the best. Bad idea for him to marry a young lesbian (he knew). Bad idea for me to think that maybe I'd learn to love him.
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Frances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:49 PM
Response to Original message
6. My ex-husband and I were way too young and immature
when we married, but we had two great kids. Now we are both remarried to people that we are compatible with. My children are glad that things worked out the way they did.
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alwynsw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
7. I couldn't get along with her boyfriend
Happily married now, though!
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Nlighten1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:54 PM
Response to Original message
11. Because she was crazy...
and she had a terrible temper.
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YellowDawgDemocrat Donating Member (181 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 11:02 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. My wife ran off with my best friend....I sure do miss him
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. I...
I got a gun for my wife, it was the best trade I ever made :)

:)

Marriages end for a variety of reasons. IMHO, one of the most common reasons is that two people marry who should have never married in the first place.

In the interest of full disclosure I'm am ecstatically happily married and my wife seems to feel the same way :)
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
17. First Time... I Was A Cheater. Second Time... HE Was A Cheater
Third time's the charm.

-- Allen
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 11:38 PM
Response to Original message
18. After I repeatedly stabbed him, he had issues
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mykpart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-04 03:49 AM
Response to Original message
20. My first husband liked to get drunk and beat me up.
I didn't stick around to find out what caused him to act that way.
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scottcsmith Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-04 02:03 PM
Response to Original message
21. I don't have a good answer
I married my first wife in 1994. We had dated most of 1993. We had a pretty good relationship which, unfortunately, began to unravel in 1996. I'm still not sure why it did. We separated in '97 and I eventually re-married in 2000.

We had started out as friends; I knew her in high school. We should have just stayed friends.

The divorce was amicable. We stayed in touch, got together for coffee with our new boy/girlfriends, and when she re-married, I attended her wedding, and when I re-married, she attended my wedding.
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bratcatinok Donating Member (786 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-04 02:07 PM
Response to Original message
22. I was naive.
I had led a somewhat sheltered life so didn't know there were danger signals to look for.

My marriage broke up because he drank too much, he liked to use me as a punching bag and he liked to cheat on me. It was the punching bag issue that caused me to take the action to divorce him though.
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ZenLefty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-04 02:12 PM
Response to Original message
23. She lied, she stole, she was sleeping with another guy
But when she said I couldn't watch hockey is when the real trouble began.
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